HALLOWEEN DAMAGE

Last year I pointed your way towards the "Ghouls With Attitude" collection of vintage Halloween tuneage. Katya from Oddio Overplay (hosts of the collection) sez:

"Everyone can still download that 2-CD set and the Martinibomb cut at OddioOverplay.com. Also, we have a scary project in the works for this year. All are invited to join us!

Boogity!"

"Ghouls With Attitude" was goofy fun, but they want genuine hair-raising chiller-thrillers this year. And to get you in the mood, they've compiled:

"Halloween Damage" - Spectacular hour's worth of horror soundtrack action.

Crapper's Delight: HC Strache

DJ not-i writes from Vienna:

"The head of an anti-foreigner right-wing party in Austria has made a rap song to reach out to, err, i guess young voters in the upcoming parliamentary elections. The title is "Österreich zuerst" ("Austria first"), sort of a variation on "Deutschland über alles." The lyrics are of course political in a very bad way ("If you don't want to be integrated, I've got a travel destination for you: Go back home, have a good flight, we have enough unemployment here.")

Anyway, you're not missing much if you don't understand German. The wackness of this guy's flow is obvious to the speaker of any language.

As you can imagine, the Austrian hip-hop scene figure he wants beef and are busy cooking up various dis songs. Hell, i might even produce something just to make more fun of this clown."

Neo-nazis always start with immigration, don't they? It's a good mainstream issue that they can use to get their foot in the door.

HC Strache: "Österreich zuerst" - Sorry I ever said anything about Average Homeboy!

THE "IN" SOUND OF JEAN-JACQUES PERREY

Legendary '60s Moog-master Jean-Jacques Perrey, 77 years young, is performing live for the first time on the West Coast this week, in support of his new album, due in September. We first wrote about it here last year.

He's performing along with his new cohort Dana Countryman of "Cool & Strange Music" magazine fame, who's also writing the maestro's biography. See them Saturday night in Seattle (oops, bit too late), at San Francisco's "Recombinant Media Labs" the 29th, and two shows in SoCal: a free(!) event at Analogue Haven in Pomona on the 30th, and the spot your intrepid reporter will be on the 31st: The Knitting Factory in Hollywood. Also on the bill: master thereminist Sukho Lee of Seksu Roba, & DJ sets by Otis Fodder of the Bran Flakes. "His show here - his first ever in Los Angeles - will feature a wealth of Perrey's anecdotes and stories as well as his one-of-a-kind music."

The cultural event of the year, no? I'm off to take my best space-suit to the cleaners - see you all there.

The worst sound in the world

Do your democratic duty and vote for what you consider to be the worst, most unpleasant sound you've ever heard. All in the name of science. Strangely enough, they don't use anything posted here.

The worst sound in the world

To whit: "Fingernails scraping down a blackboard…the scream of a baby…your neighbour’s dog barking: what’s the worst sound in the world? BadVibes is a new science project from Salford University that aims to find out just that. People can log on to the BadVibes website at http://www.sound101.org/ where they listen and vote on a collection of awful sounds, use the horrible sound mixer and even download horrible sound effects as ringtones.

But as Professor Trevor Cox from the University’s Acoustics Research Centre explained, there’s a serious side to the research as well. "The idea behind the project is to get people thinking about the complex way we listen to and interpret sounds. For instance, you can find out why we find the sound of retching horrible. By examining people’s voting patterns we will learn more about people's perception of horrible sounds. We hope to learn about what is the worst sound in the world, and maybe why it is the worst sound. It has been a lot of fun putting together the website, but I’m glad I no longer have to edit horrible things like the sound of my snotty nose!"

The project also includes an exhibit which is at the Museum of Science and Industry in Manchester from 7th November, and the results from the website voting will be analysed over the next six months."

Warm Bananaphones and Funky Muppets

You probably don't listen to too much children's music if you don't have to. But dig:

This one and (possible only) mashup by PF (who may or may not be from San Francisco) is one of my favorites, a LOL-out loud funny pairing of two of the most unlikely songs to ever be conjoined: The Normal's 1977 dark, droning, proto-industrial classic "Warm Leatherette," and kiddie-music star Raffi's typically cheerful, wholesome "Bananaphone," with a bit of Japan's noise combo Melt Banana thrown in for good measure. It all makes sense. Really.

PF: "Warm Bananaphone"

Another kiddie classic, "Mah-Na-Mah-Na," originally by Italy's sleazy soundtrack maestro Piero Umiliani, popularized by the Muppets, and recently remade by Cake, gets a funny, funky new life thanks to Boston's mash-meister Lenlow:

Lenlow: "Kanye Mahna" - Mr. West's "Golddigger" lesson, now aimed at the pre-school crowd; never too soon to learn about the ladies, eh, Kanye?

If you prefer the Muppet's version, Reading, UK's Pilchard gotcha covered:

Pilchard: "Macamuppet" - in which Animal does the Macarena with the Doors.

So what do professional musicians think about all this "illegal" activity in the music world? Well, Weird Al Yankovic's new album, "Straight Outta Lynwood" (release date: 9/26/06) features a track entitled "Don't Download This Song." Quothe his publicist: "...we are offering "Don't Download This Song" as a free unprotected MP3 in order to generate as many downloads as possible."

Weird Al Yankovic: "Don't Download This Song" - "You might end up in jail like Tommy Chong..."

Denny Blazin Hazen: Average Homeboy

Anyone remember Dee Dee King's album, "The Spotlight Kid"? As Dee Dee Ramone, the late, great Douglas Colvin was one of the world's greatest rock'n'rollers. As Dee Dee King, however, he was one of the world's worst rappers. But that album was "Fear Of A Black Planet" compared to the video output of the self-described "average homeboy" Denny Blazin Hazen, an unpretentious, painfully sincere Midwestern white rapper, e.g.:

"For recreation I
Like to shoot hoops
but not until I've eaten
all my Fruit Loops"

"Average Homeboy" - delivered with as much visual pizazz as is possible on a home editing system.

Again, I can make an mp3 available off the video if you sickos so desire.

HAND-FART MUSIC pt2

Some of you may recall the post last year about The Three Tendons, those clever chaps who make rude music by squeezing their hands together. A new master of manualism, Robert Wilson, was featured in this NPR radio piece, featuring tunes like

"Happy Birthday"

Some pretty incredible videos were posted as well. Gotta laff at:

"William Tell Overture" - Anyone want me to post mp3s of music taken from these vids?

Big thanks to Stymie!

MORE AND MORE NERD-CORE

Been out of state, then catching up at work, but - have no fear! - I'm back. So to make up for my absence, here's a heap o' new atrocities:

Super Mario: The Opera - Written last year by Jonathan Mann (also the voice of Mario), and performed at Los Angeles' CalArts, this isn't your grandpa's opera. Mostly-acoustic rock is more like it, with a sizeable cast playing the various characters.

"Space Crackers" is a similiarly nerdy concept from the Boston band Clawjob, but this isn't your grandpa's space-opera. Crunchy hard rock is more like it, with a sizeable cast playing the various characters.

From "Mario," "Conversation With God" has lovely, lush orchestration, complete with sitar, and existential dialogue between Mario and God, who is actually playing the video game. Huh?! (Thanks to Roman for the tip!)

"Space Pass" from "Space Crackers" features Ramones-y pop-punk, with a '50s kitsch sci-fi angle. Good fun.

THE GREAT RICHARD NIXON

Did anyone have more song-poems written about him then Richard Nixon?

A helpful Maniac emailed me this morning to remind me that on this day in 1974 a disgraced Nixon resigned as President of the United States and ask, "Wasn't there a song-poem about Nixon?" Well, Rodd Keith sang one on the "American Song-Poem Anthology," but there was plenty more - this page has seven, count 'em, seven mp3s available that sing Tricky Dick's praises, as well as dealing with other issues of the day such as the Vietnam War.

Although most would agree that this was truly a dark day in American history, Nixon still had his supporters - at least one song, "Richard Nixon in '76," was clearly written post-Watergate. I wonder if that lyric writer would still feel that way about Nixon now that more taped conversations have been released over the years, revealing Nixon in all his anti-Semetic, devious, dishonest glory. (Actually, he might like him even more!)

Gene Marshall, staff singer for Preview Records of Hollywood, seems to have been the go-to guy for Nixon song-poems, and most of these lyrics were written by one man, the clearly obsessed John Montague. Unfortunately, there's no mp3 available for "We Want Dick, We Want Dick, We Want Dick," and it's flip side "We Want Dick And Spiro, We Want Dick And Spiro, We Want Dick And Spiro."

SONDRA PRILL BLOWS KISSES TO THE UNIVERSE

Oh, this is big news.

Some of you may recall the post about Sondra Prill on Otis Fodder's 365Project. The audio to three of her songs were posted, but some saint has posted the entire oevre of Florida's public-access TV queen, 24 short video clips in all, on YouTube, documenting not only her singing (wildly uninhibited, and not bound by conventional standards of pitch), her Bride-of-Frankenstein hair and performing style, but also her, ahem, comedy talents. She plays several characters, although the biggest character would be Ms. Prill herself, who sadly hasn't been heard from much in the last 15 years.

Every clip is a jewel: decimating everything from "The Star-Spangled Banner" to Robert Palmer's "Addicted To Love," singing a duet with a guy injesting helium (!?), wearing fake plastic breasts, awkwardly flirting with an interviewer, serenading a visibly-uncomfortable caterer who happened to be on the set...the hits just keep coming.

I recorded the audio from a couple of these magical musical moments. I don't know why.

"Nasty Boys" video - Sondra does Janet Jackson with her trademark arsenal of facial expressions; you'll laugh, you'll cringe.
"Nasty Boys" mp3

"Pump Up The Jam" mp3 - proving that it is possible to rap off-key.
"Pump Up The Jam" video - Technotronic's hit set on the beach, with Sondra clad in...what the hell is that? A chain-mail bathing suit?

MORE NERD-CORE: FIRST BAND ON THE WEB

Listened to all those Dr. Who fan songs from last week? Then you should be ready to geek out on this:

A group founded by a secretary with no previous musical experience that sings about science has automatic outside-music cred, but this group can make an actual claim to history.
"Les Horribles Cernettes are the one and only High Energy Rock Band. They sing about colliders, quarks, microwaves, antiprotons and Internet," quothe their website, but they're not your usual nurds - these ladies can honestly boast to being not only the first musical group with their own website, but a picture of them was the first image on the internet. Founded by a secretary at CERN Labs in Geneva, Switzerland, they have a '60s girl-group style, even if the lyrics are incomprehesible to the layman.

Les Horribles Cernettes: "Antiworld" - "He stood up and he walked on the air...With a smile on his face he said "come on hon"/Then we jumped in hyperspace/And inversed my polarity" Aaah, so romantic...


Thanks to The Bobo!

"I wonder what a Kazoo would sound like if it was put through a wah-wah pedal?"

Haven't we all asked outselves that question at one time or another? Fortunately, two British guys calling themselves Ed Kazoo and Jim Wah (WahKazoo) decided to tackle this most pressing of concerns by doing just that. And what does it sound like? Well, as this version of the "Dr Who" proves, it sounds like a sick duck. I imagine a very drunk Donald Duck staggering around a pub singing along to a jukebox when I listen (and giggle uncontrollably) to:

Ed Kazoo and Jim Wah: "Dr Who"

Ed Kazoo and Jim Wah: "(I'm The) Urban Spaceman" - didn't think the Bonzo Dog Band could sound more silly then they already do...

I discovered these guys on this Dr Who remix page which features, apart from the expected techno remixes, some real oddities, like this sped-up acapella version of the theme done in the style of that infernal Crazy Frog. Ha!

Glenn Mullan: Doctor Who - Framster Who

Tech-xotica!

RIAA (Rockin' Internet Art Alternatives) present Tech-xotica!! - Afro-Latin mash-ups & Tiki-beatz for summer. Some old, some (like these) are new:

"It's Like That Summer Samba" - Run-DMC go bossa-a-go-go with Wander Wanderly.

"Armageddon It On (or The Gaye-Pride Apocalypso)" - Bill O'Reilly, Jerry Falwell and a gerbil get it on with Marvin Gaye over the calypso sounds of Blinky and the Roadmasters and M.I.A.'s "Galang" riddim.

"Laid Bamba" - Los Lobos does it with amorous Brit-rockers James.

It's been so frikkin' hot lately, however, I'm ready to post some Christmas tunes...

PRE-SCHOOL ELECTRONICA

A University of Kentucky music professor who invited Boston's djbc to speak at a seminar gave bc this recording of the prof's 7-year-old son, DJ French Fry, who performs solo on a MicroKorg synth. Pretty trippy stuff, and, as it's an instrumental, I have no idea what significance the title has. But I do know I'd like to hear this kid jam with Eyeball Skeleton.

DJ French Fry - I Wonder Why Elephants Have Trunks?

And here's the djbc d'n'b remix that will no doubt propel French Fry to Moby-like heights of stardom. Hey French Fry, when you hit it big, don't forget us little people!

Passion Boys make music about sexy ladie and nice music also, Yes!

Meet Hungary's belated contribution to '80s techno-pop, Passion Boys: "Szia (hello)! We Laszlo and Gyorgy come from small village is call Bataszek, very near from Budapest. We are make some music very much like name Passion Boys. We like make music about sexy ladie and nice music also."

As they say in their song "Passion Boys are Firemans":
"hello, fireman?" "yes." "I feel there is something burrrrrning." "yes." "can you come right away?" "yes, we comes."

Hey, they speak English better then I speak Hungarian: "Real music like is best from 80s. Not like modern rapping musics and no love music of computer mans...Funny story: when boy Miklos is too fat an we name he Miklos Meatlof like famos USA fatmans singer, Yes!"

Their latest tune is "Robot Sexie Time": "We make song about two robot is fall into love for first time an after make sexie!! Is for Miklos becasue Miklos is not have girl friend for so many time an is spend so too many time look picture of sexie robot like new foto!!!"

All this and more is available from their MySpace page. I think I'm the last man on earth who isn't on MySpace. This almost makes me reconsider.

TAMMY FAYE SINGS!

Singing christian puppet records. Need I say more?

Disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker, make-up victim wife Tammy Faye, helium vocals, her puppets Allie the Alligator and Susie Moppet, 6 songs no longer then a minute-and-a-half long available here.

"Praise The Lord" for such terrifying/hilarious entertainment.



Thanks to punkrecords.org!

SYD BARRETT

As I'm sure many of you have heard by now, Syd Barrett has died at age 60. Syd founded what I call the first Pink Floyd, as opposed to the second, Waters & Gilmour-led "Dark Side of the Moon"/"The Wall" Pink Floyd. The first Pink Floyd were, for a brief period in the late '60s, the wildest band in England, roughly equivalent to the Velvet Underground in the U.S. - an amazing discovery for someone like me, a typical raised-on-punk kid who thought Floyd stood for all that was pretentious and dull.

Syd was the first Floyd: singing, songwriting, guitar, heck, he gave the band it's name. When Syd became too acid-damaged/mentally ill to perform with Floyd he went from rock star to one of the first prominent outsider musicians, recording devasting solo albums that were as much musical therapy as art. After 1970, he never recorded again.

I used to listen to the first Floyd album "Piper At The Gates of Dawn" and his solo album "The Madcap Laughs" obsessively. The differences are stark. "Piper" is the world through Syd's eyes: a colorfully-produced wonderland of gnomes, living scarecrows, and spaceflight. The imagery, though phantasmagorical, is lucid.

Pink Floyd: "Arnold Layne" - who else was (is) writing songs about a clothes-stealing cross-dresser?

"The Madcap Laughs," recorded some years later, is like watching a patient through an observation window as he pathetically tries to play a guitar and sing. The meaning (if any) of the now-jumbled word-salad lyrics may befuddle the listener, but the pain comes through loud and clear: there's nothing romantic about mental illness. It's hell, like any other serious disease.

Syd Barrett: "Dark Globe"

Barrett's influence is truly inestimable: his songs have been covered by David Bowie, the Jesus and Mary Chain, Love and Rockets, REM ("Dark Globe," actually), the bands Baby Lemonade and Gigalo Aunt are named after his songs, Sid Vicious was partly named after him, and Robyn Hitchcock practically built his career on Syd's style. But, ultimately, his legacy goes beyond his music - without trying, but by simply being allowed to be himself, he paved the way for the punk DIY and outsider music traditions.

Totom: "Waving My Cactus In The Air" - not as pornographic as it sounds, it's actually Paris' mashup master totom expertly fusing Syd's "Waving My Hands In The Air" with The Pixies' "Cactus."

KOOKY KOVERS pt2: PASTEL VESPA

My GAWD, it's hot here in Los Angeles. If I can't be at the beach, then I'm chillin' to some kool 'n' kooky kover songs from the likes of Pastel Vespa, a swingin' Brazilian blonde babe now living in Australia. Ms. Vespa interpets the likes of Metallica, The Sex Pistols, and Prince with perfect '60s bossa-nova style. Compared to Nouvelle Vague (whose new album is getting blogged all over the place so you don't need me to tell you about it), she's got more toe-tappin' energy, and, of course, more authentic Brazilian flavor.

Pastel Vespa: "Blue Monday": never heard anyone else covering New Order and Joy Division at the same time - "Love Will Tear Us Apart" gets cleverly worked in.

Pastel Vespa: "Livin' on A Prayer" : the Bon Jovi hit; which gets me to wonderin' why all those '80 hair bands were usin' so many apostrophes in all the titles of the songs they were playin' and singin.' You just knew an album or song was gonna suck if it had apostrophes in the title. Would The Clash write a song called "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'"?


Big thanks to Turquoise Days!

KOOKY KOVERS pt1: CREEPY CLARINETS

One writer described the bass clarinet as sounding like "... an old, unhappy Jewish man with the flu." Despite (or perhaps because of) this, classically-trained Edmund Welles formed a bass-clarinet quartet - no other instruments allowed - and proceeded to cover songs like:

"Creep" - Radiohead have never sounded so creepy. My fave of the bunch, but you might like:

"Wild Boys" - Duran Duran have never sounded so listenable.
"Big Bottom" - You Spinal Tap fans can sing over this one: "My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo/Gonna sink her with my pink torpedo..."

Mr Welles & Co. also cover Nirvana, Black Sabbath, The Doors and the Pixies, as well as blues, jazz, classical and original musics.

YANKEE DOODLE HOMO

July 4th: Independence Day, America's most patriotic holiday. Time for that self-described "Yankee Doodle Homo" Mark Harris to sing of god and country in his own inimitable fashion.

As fans of Howard Stern's syndicated radio show have known for years, Harris propelled himself to semi-stardom by marrying aging (and soon dead) veteran performer Martha Raye, whose name and good works he commemorates (exploits?) in his campy cabaret show "Mr. Martha Raye" - he sings his self-penned showtune-style fingersnappers and regales audiences with jokes and anecdotes ranging from celebrity gossip to true tales of his own plastic-surgeries (he had a "testicle-lift"?)

Mark Harris is truly a portait of a man in denial: of his own utter lack of talent, the fact that he has not attained the superstardom he so clearly thinks he deserves, and of the fact that the conservative politics and religion he espouses have nothing but contempt for people of his orientation. Fascinating! An Ed Wood for our age.

Mark Harris "Remember The World Trade Center" mp3 - a high-kicking show-stopping 9/11 tribute tune.

You think that's tasteless? Check out the self-aggrandizing video - scenes of planes hitting the towers, mixed with footage of what appears to be one of Harris' cocktail parties, and pictures of Martha Raye. WTC; WTF?!?

Meanwhile, rx has just released a video of his classic George Bush-singing-U2 tune "Sunday Bloody Sunday", and not a moment too soon. Have an unsafe and insane Fourth!

SMASH-UP DERBY

You are all hereby directed to meet me this Sat. night July 1 at BootieLA in Los Angeles. It's the first anniversary of the all-mashup club, one of the few legal (for now) outlets of illegal music. No matter how controversial other forms of music have been, they've rarely been illegal (except for the 2 Live Crew). Hey, it's like the good old days of Communism! Remember the illicit thrill of listening to that smuggled-in Beatles album?

To celebrate, they've got alot lined up, such as drag-queen Princess Kennedy singing Kelis' "Milkshake" while handing out real milkshakes. And Smash-up Derby , America's only live mash-up band, will be playing a set. They have mp3s on their site, but of course they can't quite adequately convey lead singer (and Bootie dj) Adrian's glam persona.

Smash-up Derby: Talking Franz - The Head's "Burning Down The House" sounds great when sung over Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out"

So go. You can tell your astonished friends, "I drank a drag-queen's milkshake."

HOLOPHONIC SOUND

You've heard how stereophonic sound moves from left to right, but nothing can prepare you for the creepy phenomenon known as holophonic sound. Wear headphones as you listen to:

Holophonic test: Someone's shaking a box of matches not only to your left and right, but up and down, behind you and in front of you...

Now they're cutting your hair...

...now they're blow-drying it...

Science gone too far?!?

MENSTER PHIP AND THE PHIPSTERS

Not to be lazy, but Trouser Press's description is so succinct I'll just, er, borrow, their description:

"In their parents' basement in suburban Fairlawn, New Jersey, during the early '60s, Kenny Collins, his brother Richie and various friends and relatives pounded out rudimentary but undeniably infectious rock with their loosely constructed "band," Menster Phip and the Phipsters, recording delirious originals...surreal-to-the-point-of-unrecognizability covers ("Land of 1000 Dances")...and even a bogus commercial for Great Shakes (remember them?) on a two-track reel-to-reel deck for their own amusement. Though the group never performed publicly or released any recordings in its lifetime, tapes eventually found their way to Hoboken's Telstar label, which redressed history's injustice by releasing a 20-song collection as Phip City!."

Menster Phip and the Phipsters "Angels Up In The Sky" - Is this wonderful tune an original? If so, it's a pity we never heard more from the Phipsters.

Thanks to The Hound!

No, Thank YOU

In a ghastly display of David Lynch-ian surreal horror, newcaster Connie Chung "sings" Bob Hope's old theme song "Thanks for the Memories" while astride a piano on the final episode of her MSNBC show she co-hosted with her hubbie Maury Povich. She tunelessly wails sarcastic, bitter new parody lyrics, clumsily tries to dismount from the piano, and generally discards any remaining traces of respect the American public has for her as a journalist. Hard to believe she once co-anchored the evening news with Dan Rather. Would anyone at the BBC ever do something like this?

Connie Chung "Thanks for the Memories" (video) - Gee, I wonder why her show was cancelled?

I know not everyone has the software to record audio from videos to mp3 so here's some iPod-melting monstrosities from our recent YouTube posts: Annoy your friends! Torture your neighbors! Get fired from your DJ gig!

David Lee Roth: "Jump" bluegrass version, live on the "Tonight" show - mp3
Connie Chung: "Thanks for the Memories" - mp3

JOHN NORTH WRIGHT THINKS THEY'RE OUTASIGHT

In 1995, The Phoeniz (AZ) New Times received a demo tape from one John North Wright. The tape began with the growly voice of a middle-to-senior aged man announcing, ""Hi, I'm John Wright. Uh . . . all these songs are copyrighted 1985, words and music by myself. Uh, conceptually, they form the songs for a, uh, rock video opera I have written in my mind. It's set mostly in Hawaii and the Orient. It's called Teenage Volleyballers." What follows is an interminable tuneless guitar & voice meditation on, yup, teenage volleyballers, with little to say about them except that they're "out of sight."

Obsolete slang, hilariously inept music, and a generally creepy pedophile-ish aura all come to together to create the stuff of outside-music legend. A Phoenix musician who read the article asked for a copy of the tape and announced he would actually learn and perform all the songs, while the New Times attempted to track down the mysterious Mr Wright. As this article reveals, however, Wright was not to be found. This fan site even transcribed the lyrics and figured out the chords (such as they are) to "Teenage Volleyballers" so you can play and sing it yourself.

UPDATE: go here for the music (Sorry, didn't realize that Angelfire doesn't allow direct linking to mp3s)

Mr. Wright, please come forward - the world waits your "rock video opera."

Well, at least I do.

UPDATE 7/18/06: Great to get a comment from the New Times editor who helped discover Wright. Turns out Wright was from Michigan and sadly passed away a few years ago. But here's his web page, chock-full of psychotic ranting. Unfortunately, the song is off line. Anyone got it?

DAVID LEE ROTH GOES BLUEGRASS

Music Video For Maniacs: David Lee Roth performed a bluegrass version of his old band Van Halen's '80s hit "Jump" on the "Tonight" show recently. I don't know why.

David Lee Roth "Jump."

His sense of pitch is all over the map, his radio show was cancelled, he was considering quitting music to work as a paramedic. Watching his continued attempts to maintain a show-biz career should be fascinating, in that car-wreck sorta way.

MUSIC FOR DOGS

No, not music about dogs - there have been plenty of classics in that catagory, from Elvis' historic "Old Shep" to George Clinton's "Atomic Dog" - but music for dogs. Dogs have been man's companions for millenia. Since when did we decided that they needed music? Well, according to Thai dog groomer and trainer Anupan Boonchuen, "music improve(s) the mood of dogs he grooms." And so he launched:

DogRadioThailand.com - "...The programming on dogradiothailand.com is mainly Thai pop music, but Boonchuen plans to expand offerings in which the disc jockey will "talk to the dogs in Thai," and canine listeners will be encouraged to respond. "If we play a slow song, we may have the DJ howl," he said, "because dogs howl, too, when they hear sad sounds."

Get with it, Thailand! You're way behind the kooky New Age crowd here in Los Angeles: "Songs To Make Dogs Happy" (listen here) "is the first qualitatively and quantitatively researched musical CD, based upon 200 canine participants' responses to what THEY would like to hear in songs! The Laurel Canyon Animal Company and Dr. Kim Ogden, a nationally known Intuitive Animal Communicator, worked together to create music dogs love to listen to!"

Scroll down The Laurel Canyon Animal Company's website and you'll also find music by, and for, parrots, cats, Koko the gorilla ("Most of the song lyrics are taken from conversations with Koko. She personally reviewed versions of each song before the recordings were finalized"), and...pink dolphins of the Amazon? "Music of the Pink Dolphins" required no less then three animal "communicators": "...a musical adventure directed and guided by the the Dolphins themselves...People who spend time with Dolphins experience an amplified sense of intuition, wisdom, compassion, peace and higher guidance." Ya think, say, eminem's music has ever been able to "attune your intuition"? Arf.

THE FIRST REMIX?

Excellent new weird-music blog Dinosaur Gardens (contributers include Mr Evolution Control Committee, and the guy from the great local (L.A.) Space Age theremin-a-go-go combo Seksu Roba) posted a 1968 recording by the father of Minimalist composition, Terry Riley, that just might be considered the first remix of a pop song: "...the proprietor of a local discotheque asked Riley to compose a piece to be played in his club, and Riley obliged  —  but with a version of Harvey Averne's "You're No Good", a single off Averne’s 1968 Atlantic LP Viva Soul..."

The result is 12 minutes of tape-looped lunacy, with sine-wave and Moogs thrown in here and there as well. Was this actually played at the disco? And did anyone dance?

And who knew there was a soul-man named "Harvey"?

Terry Riley "You're Nogood"

A CELEBRITY TRIBUTE TO THE PIXIES

For you Pixies fans who want some spit-Pepsi-on-computer-screen laffs, check out Matthew's Celebrity Pixies Tribute page, which features the tunes of Mr. Black & Co. as performed by the likes of

Prince "Hey" Hey, I like this as much as most of Prince's own recordings

Jimi Hendrix "Vamos"

The Beach Boys "Levitate Me" - a "Pet Sounds" outtake?

As with Gabba, the group we covered last week, the humor lies somewhat on your familiarty with the group being satirized, in this case, The Pixies (dig Jimi's intro to "Vamos"), but the impressions and performances are good enough to tickle even non-Pixieheads. The Sinatra-ized version of "Monkey Gone To Heaven," however, is partly amusing because he doesn't sound anything like Frank, and the synthesized horn section makes it all sound like a really bad lounge act. Even when it's bad it's good.

ABBA ABBA WE ACCEPT YOU...

If British quintet Gabba simply played Abba songs in the style of the Ramones, that would be amusing enough. And sometimes they do do that, but other songs are more like pastiches of both groups' styles merged into an inexplicable whole, with references to numerous songs combining to form what I guess one could call original compositions. Such as "Hej Ho Disco", available from their MySpace space.

British dj Bud The Weiser has put together a swell 20 minute mix of Gabba tunes here (second one down). Listen sharp - there's numerous quotes that only a real Ramones fan will pick up on, but even if you just arrived on planet Earth recently and know nothing of Da Bruddahs, or those Swedes, the hi-NRG rock'n'disco should have you slammin' around the house anyway.

ROLL OVER, CHUCK BERRY

Bellybongo, as some of you may know, is a rare-album mp3 site run by a Scandanavian guy, and is highly recommended to fans of '60s/'70s audio oddities. But Mr Bongo really outdid himself with this album by The Note-Ables, a '70s quartet from parts unknown, USA, who are indeed noteable for their almost complete lack of skill in any area of singing or instrumental performance. Neil Sedaka, Glen Campbell and The Beatles all get steamrollered by an out-of-tune guitar/accordian attack that resembles The Shaggs on speed. Old swing tunes merge into what is allegedly the surf classic "Pipeline," but sounds more like a very wrong version of "Wipeout." The band sounds like their having a great time, however, and their energy level and enthusiasm is infectious.

The Note-Ables "Roll Over Beethoven" - The opening moments contain some of the most inspiring guitar work heard in years.

But who is "Shikowski"?

HAPPY ROBOT MUSIC

Ian Sherwin of Birmingham, UK seems like a decent chap: according to his website, "He has worked with a wide variety of schools and groups, and has a lot of experience working with young people with learning difficulties and behaviour problems. Ian mainly works with young people introducing them to using computers and software to record and produce original music." So why does he do such terrible things to toys?

By taking exisiting electronic musical and sound toys like Speak and Spells and rewiring them ("circuit-bending") Sherwin takes wholesome artifacts of childhood and warps them into noisy unpredictable electronic musical strangeness that might frighten your kids. Or enthrall them. I wouldn't mind having a "glitch-switch" or a random-sound button on my synths.

"Speak and Math"
"Talk n Learn Animals" - "This is the lion: SKRREEEEEECH!!!"
"My Little Keyboard"

Like what you hear? "Please get in touch if you would like to pre-order any of the units featured on this page" and he'll make one for you.

Now when's he gonna jam with Toydeath?

KID'S POW-WOW SONGS

One of the most unexpectedly wonderful albums I've bought recently is "More Kid's Pow-Wow Songs" by a Native American group, The Black Lodge Singers. I say unexpectedly because I don't know much about American Indian music and had never really listened to it too carefully, but how can you not like hearing songs about Scooby-Doo or Spongebob Square Pants sung in traditional drum-and-chant style? Apart from the novelty value, the performances - really soulful singing and compelling rhythms - are terrific.

Not surprisingly, the group, led by Kenny Scabby Robe (Scabby?) of the Blackfeet people, is one of the most popular trad groups on the pow-wow (intertribal gathering) circuit. The fact that he recruits band members from among the ranks of his 12 (!) sons certainly means he's aware of what the kids are into - this is volume 2, with hopefully more on the way. Can I request the "Speed Racer" theme?

Black Lodge Singers: "Kid's Pow-Wow Songs Medley"

2 .TP CISUM SDRAWKCAB

The guy I wrote about recently who sings "Stairway To Heaven" backwards asked that it be removed from the inter-webs. Yeah, well, who needs him? Thanks to Maniac mwmiller, we've got something you might like even better, so go to this-here site:

Bill Lamphier's Mystery Tune

ART LIKES HIS MOTHER

It's Mother's Day soon here in the US of A, and I can't think of a better salute to our mommies then a tune by Madison, Wisconsin's most famous outsider, Art Paul Schlosser, who we first met here. I don't if Mama Fab would really appreciate it, though - she never seemed too amused when I would play my 12" of Mr. T's rap song "Treat Your Mother Right." But it's the thought that counts!

Right...?

Art Paul Schlosser - "I Like My Mother"

UPDATE: Big thanks to that legend "anonymous" for this swell video of Art Paul performing "I Like My Mother" live on the street.

GUYS SINGS "STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN" BACKWARDS

A Dutchman who obviously has a lot of free time on his hands named Jeroen Offerman learned how to sing Led Zep's "Stairway To Heaven"... backwords. It took him three months. Then he videotaped himself singing it and played that backwords. Just the kind of utterly pointless behaviour that makes life worth living!

"Neveah Ot Yawriats"

SO I SAW DANIEL JOHNSTON LAST NIGHT...

...perform for free - free! You can't beat that! - at Amoeba Hollywood. And it was, quite simple, utterly wonderful. If you've been put off by the possibility it will be just a freak show, forget it. It was 35 minutes of top-notch tunesmithery performed albeit a bit clumsily at times, but I couldn't imagine it any other way. He doesn't play that way to be indie-cool or low-fi or whatever. He's playing the best he can, and he even apologized a couple of times for his nervousness and "amateurness." A large supportive crowd would have nothing of it, however.

Before the show, the store actioned off an original Johnston artwork to benefit Hurricane Katrina victims. It depicted many brightly-colored skulls and captions proclaiming that the Devil is "a drag." It went for $550.

Having just seen the documentary film, "The Devil and Daniel Johnston," I was prepared for the worst - it depicts his mental condition as deteriorating. But the Daniel I saw last night looked fairly healthy, hair neatly trimmed, sporting an oh-so-hip goatee, and a "Hi, How Are You" tee-shirt. He was in good spirits as he performed solo guitar and piano renditions of songs that, in other hands, probably would have been done in a jangly-guitar '60s pop style. The ghost of his beloved Beatles and three-chord classics like "Needles and Pins" seemed to haunt the compositions played last night, even as he dropped in lines like "I'm just a psycho trying to write a song." He good-naturedly put in time at the autograph table later.

Some may have been disappointed that he didn't have a nervous breakdown on stage. Ah well, they just had to make do with one fine tune after another, like:

"Frustrated Artist"

TEA PARTY: VINTAGE REEFER SONGS

I certainly was surprised to see the news that Mexico is planning on legalizing drugs for personal use. Any drug: heroin, pot, LSD...hell, snorting elephant tranquilizer, for all I know. It should be an interesting experiment: will they now have to worry about illegal Americans crossing the border?

Which reminded me of this page that features some great vintage jazz recordings. Some of the greatest legends in jazz, like Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, and Ella Fitzgerald, sang weed's praises. Now, I don't indulge in anything heavier then a martini, so I'm not endorsing anything here. I just love the spooky feel of jazz recordings of the '30s and '40s - the far-away sound of low-fi 78s, and hipster slang like "viper" (pothead), "blowing gage," and "smoking tea."

The Barney Bigard Sextet: Sweet Marijuana Brown
Bea Foote: Weed

UPDATE: Or not. As Scott pointed out in his comment, now Prez Fox is reconsidering.

BEA ARTHUR: AS NASTY AS SHE WANTS TO BE

If I wasn't married I'm sure I wouldn't have considered seeing Bea Arthur's one-woman show "Just Between Friends." Not that I have anything against the famed actress, star of TV classics like "Maude" and "The Golden Girls." I just figured it would be an evening of songs done in her froggy voice and show-biz anecdotes, but Mrs. Fab wanted to go, and so we did. And, whatdoyaknow, I quite enjoyed it, if, for no other reason, some of those songs and stories where, well, filthy. Not even those rappin' grannies I wrote about recently had anything on this 70-something bad girl. She remade some nasty old blues tunes that can be found on compilations like "The Copulatin' Blues" such as this ode to furniture sales:

Bea Arthur: "If I Can't Sell It, I'll Keep Sitting On It" - as well as a bonus anecdote about an unnamed actress' personal hygiene that would make Leoncie blush.

FROM POL POT TO HIP-HOP

Continuing our series of posts about unlikely rappers: Did the founders of hip-hop music in the '70s ever imagine that one day their music would teach the Cambodian people their horrifying history? Kool Herc, Grandmaster Flash et. al. would have been open-mouthed in shock if they heard that a bootleg of a rap album recorded by a Cambodian-American youngster in his parents' garage would do just that. Much to praCh's amazement, his debut album, little known beyond Long Beach, CA's Cambodian community, became the number one album in the land of his birth. It served the dual purpose of schooling Cambodians in American-style hip-hop, and telling some grim truths about dictator Pol Pot's murderous regime.

praCh: "The Great Escape" - A gripping account of his family's escape from Cambodia
praCh: "Ah-Yei (Khmer Rap)" - performed entirely in the Khmer language

RAPPIN' GRANNY

After the Gangsta Fag post a couple of days ago, someone posted asking about other oddball rappers from demographic groups one normally wouldn't consider in hip-hop. I immediately thought of my Valley homegirl Rappin Granny (aka Vivian Smallwood). Tired of the kids blaring a music she hated, she decided to fight back with her own rhymes.

I don't know who the original rappin granny was, but this is not the one who appeared in the 1985 film "Rappin'", or the different rappin granny who was in "The Wedding Singer." Nor is she Fruity Nutcake, the New York white lady who has appeared on Howard Stern. Wow, there could be a best-of-rappin-grannys compilation.

Here's footage from one of Ms. Smallwood's many TV appearances. The music may be 50 Cent's, but the lyrics are largely hers. She even, er, shakes her booty. Granny got back! (sorry) Was there really a show called "America's Most Talented Seniors"?

Rappin Granny "In Da Club" - Well, Shirley Jones seems to enjoy it.

ROCK ROCK ROCK ROCK ROCK'N'ROLL HIGH SCHOOOOLLL...

...sang the Ramones, and few schools rocked like the Dondero High School A Capella Choir, of Royal Oak, Michigan. For 35 years Rick Hartsoe has been the Choir Director, aided and abetted by energetic instrumentalists, also culled from the student ranks.

Sadly, not only is Dondero High closing, but so is Otis Fodder's 'net-label Comfort Stand - a generous heaping of Dondero High's annual performances are Comfort Stand's last offerings.
There are many gems here, but check out this cover of Boston's

"More Than A Feeling" - the arena-rock bombast of the original is transformed through the choir's singing, handclaps, and more low-key (but still energetic) arrangement into an innocent campfire singalong. Just charming.

Don't know what Otis will be up to now, but I hope it means completing another Bran Flakes album of thrift store record-inspired mashups. And as for the beloved Mr. Hartsoe, he, like the school, is retiring.

O.G.: ORIGINAL GAYS

Gangsta Fag

Well! That says it all, doesn't it? Countless rappers, inspired by NWA's "Straight Outta Compton," have filled their music with anger, violence, and curse words, but it's usually been directed at gays, not from them. Gangsta Fag's Twisted G, however, has come straight (well, as straight as he can be, har har) outta New York with music that goes after gay-bashers with a baseball bat. He has the requisite street credentials (prison time, etc), and claims he used to rob and rape crack dealers! That'll teach 'em.

From an interview on his website: "Q: Is it true that most of your fans are straight men?
Twisted G: Yeah that shits very true...Straight people find it disturbing, repulsive, and incredibly fucking hilarious. They love the shock factor and that's cool too! But if you find yourself singing all the lyrics and dancing to it around the house all the time, than yeah, you are a mutha fuckin fag and that's cool too baby!"

Gangsta Fag: "Run From The Faggots"


Thanks to Radio Clash

POP SURREALISM...

...is how books like this one describe some contemporary underground ("lowbrow") artists who's surreal scenes are populated not with melting watches and guys in bowler hats, but with images from contemporary culture. And "pop surrealism" is not a bad description for the work of some mash-up music types. They don't just make a dance club novelty by, for example, putting a Fifty Cent acapella over a rock track (not that there's anything wrong with that), but plunge you into a dream-logic landscape, creating psychedelic audio collages that can make your head spin.

Case in point, DJ Earlybird, aka The Flying Soccer Moms aka Beaufort Kissdrivel aka Uganda. "Serge Gainsbourg vs Elvis feat. Dolly Parton" takes Monsiour Gainsbourg's late-'60s porno-funk grinder "Je t'aime...Moi Non Plus" and inexplicably mixes it with spooky Elvis wails (from "Blue Moon") and Ms. Parton's high-and-lonesome cries. Do not listen to this one while driving or operating heavy machinery (Ya gotta go here, third one down)

Aber N. Stein: "Voodoo Dick" (Click here, second one down) - in a fit of major cleverness, Mr. Stein takes Jimi Hendrix's "Voodoo Chile" guitar riff and twists it into Led Zeppelin's "Moby Dick" and "Stairway To Heaven." Guaranteed to make the stoners in your life say, "Duuuuuude..."

And while we're at it, RIAA presents what is quite possibly the silliest, most ludicrous mashup of all time:

"Johnny SKAsh" which mixes the Man in Black's "Folsum Prison Blues" with Bad Manners' version of Mancini's "Baby Elephant Walk," some Skatalites, Wall of Voodoo (both doing "Ring of Fire") and more cartoonish sound effects this side of a Spike Jones record.

THE GOLDEN AGE OF MOUSTACHE-ROCK

Mike Watt recorded a great rocker a few years back that went, "The kids today must protect themselves against the '70s." And this 1977 video by Danish group the Tommy Seebach Band, a riot of facial hair, cheesy choreography, and ludicrous lip-synching and mugging for the camera, is Exhibit A why Watt was right. Or, perhaps, wrong, for our perverted purposes. I'd watch more MTV if they showed stuff this bizarre.

The song they're playing is another version of "Apache," the surf guiter instro made famous by 6-string kings like Jorgen Ingman, The Shadows, and the Ventures, but here given a soft-core Euro-disco arrangement. It may seem hard to believe that this song would have anything to do with hip-hop history, but, as all crate-digging headz know, Michael Viner's Incredible Bongo Band did a funked-up "Apache" that became a break-beat classic. This one, however, is a lot more funny:
Tommy Seebach Band: "Apache" (video)

LEONCIE: THE CHARO OF ICELAND

Bosoms! Lots of makeup! Wildly dramatic trilling! Casio-riffic no-budget music! It can only be that "icy spicy" babe Leoncie. Did I mention bosoms? As Miss Thing herself says, "A Little Bit Of My Cleavage Shows, And Then The Icelandic Volcano Explodes. Boooom!"

Forget yer Bjorks - Leoncie may be from Iceland (while claiming Indian heritage), but there all similiarities end. She writes and records her own music, even makes some of her own outfits, while performing everything with the breathless enthusiasm and relentlessly up-beat optimism of old-fashioned show-biz, even though her lyrics can turn baffling ("Radio Rapist"?) or, as in the case of "Satan City," which she claims is based on a real Icelandic nighborhood, nightmarishly surreal:

Leoncie "Satan City" - a place so offensive to her devoutly Christian sensibilities she claims they're "fucking on the street." Come on everybody, clap your hands! (But mind the abrupt ending.)

Many of her songs are about love. Or, more accurately, lust. Not for the easily embarrassed:

Leoncie "My Icelandic Man" - Wow, I wonder how she performs this one live. Hey, you two, get a room!

This page has more mp3s on the bottom, including her "headbanger" number:

Leoncie: "Wrestler" - And, yes, it's about wrestlers. Get this woman a tv appearance NOW!

SCANNER MUSIC

This website tells you how to rig your computer's scanner to play stuff like Beethoven's "Fur Elise" as this video demonstrates:

scanner: Fur Elise

Be a hit at your next office party! However: "use at your own risk. The author assumes no liability for any damages incurred by its use..."

TERRY KNIGHT: THE PHIL SPECTOR OF THE MID-WEST

Crass, outrageous, unpredictable, Terry Knight was all showbiz. Before being stabbed to death in 2004, he had worked with everyone from ? and the Mysterians to Ed McMahon. If he's remembered for anything, it's for his involvement with early-'70s arena rockers Grand Funk Railroad. But, as Barry Stoller reveals in his biography "I (Who Have Nothing): The Terry Knight Story," Knight had a surprisingly diverse portfolio in the '60s - dj, singer, songwriter, producer, record company exec, in styles from raungy garage punk ("Comin' on Back To Me" is a classic "Nuggets"-style rocker) to shmoove EZ-listening. And it's almost all out-of-print. Today's guest post tells the tale of Knight's brief production/A&R career at Cameo-Parkway. Take it away, Barry!

Knight never intended "I (Who Have Nothing)," his breakout national hit
with the Pack and his first foray into lounge music, as a 45. The
decision rested with Neil Bogart, president of Cameo-Parkway, the
company which distributed Terry Knight &The Pack's locally-produced garage records. When
the tune hit, Knight immediately seized his chance and submitted to the
influence of C-P (and Richard Rome, C-P staff arranger, who produced the
string-laden ballad).

"Comin' Back To Me" (by the Alabama garage band, Rites of Spring) was
Knight's first production duty with C-P (and his second ever with a
group other than his own). Essentially, he 'saved' the Rites of Spring's
failed 45 attempt, initially a demo, by supervising the re-recording of
the vocals which featured new lyrics. The tune, released while "I (Who
Have Nothing)" was still on the charts, bombed.

"If Love Is" was a vanity project for 'Dandy' Dan Daniel, a DJ at New
York's influential WMCA-AM. On this, Daniel's third C-P 45, 'Dandy' Dan
emotes Rod McKuenesque poetry over a backing track originally intended
as a Knight solo session. The music was written by Knight with
assistance from Rome; the lyrics are probably Knight's. The backing
track was recycled on a subsidiary C-P easy-listening album by the
International Pop Orchestra. Summer 1967, one of the last C-P releases.

Knight composed "The Incident Theme" on the set of the movie (which is a
malignant kicker) shortly after C-P folded in a flurry of lawsuits
between Allen Klein (who leveraged a buyout of the label) and Bogart
(who fled the label with several newly signed groups and producers plus
a stack of masters which surfaced in a variety of contexts). Knight was
managed by Ed McMahon at the time and McMahon had a part in the flick.
Promoted on the Tonight Show. Arrangement by Charles Fox (who did the
score for Barbarella shortly after). November 1967.

After The Incident bombed, Knight and McMahon went separate ways. Knight
was without a recording or production contract until early 1969. The
rest is heavy metal history.

- Barry Stoller
Utopia 2000

A-WHOOPIN', A-HOLLERIN' AND A-EEPHIN'

A reader asked if I had any "eefing" records after becoming intrigued by this wonderful NPR story that aired a couple of weeks ago. 'Deed I do, from an old vinyl album I got out of the library 10 years or so ago and taped called "I'm On My Journey Home." It's one of the strangest folk music collections I've ever encountered, and eephing, a vocal style that vaguely resembles a hillbilly form of human-beatboxing, is only part of it.

Has anyone made an eephing record in last 40 years? It may be, as the NPR story suggests, a lost art.

Jimmy Riddle: Eephing
Joe Perkins with Jimmy Riddle: Little Eephin' Annie - taken from the NPR story; this record actually charted in 1963

These other oddities from "I'm On My Journey Home" are vocal pieces that fall into the may-not-actually-be-music category, but are delightful nonethless:

Leonard Emanuel/"Red" Buck Estes - "Hollerin'" & "Whoopin'"
Lindy Clear/Ben Rice - "Ringing The Pig"/"Spelling From The Old Blue-Back Speller"

DAN TREACEY'S DARK PLACES

"I don't believe anyone's born bad, I don't believe anyone's born sad, but some people are born...mad."

So sings England's Dan Treacey on the brand-new album "My Dark Places" by his band the Television Personalities, their first since the early '90s. Why the long wait? Well, in the '80s, Treacy sang about Pink Floyd founder/mental case Syd Barrett, and in the '90s he practically became him. Trapped in a downward spiral of homelessness, drugs, crimes to pay for drugs, institutionalization, rinse, repeat, Treacy "lost the plot," as he sings in "I Get Sick Again," one of his new songs. He didn't play music for years, until prison nuns got him some instruments. He sent out an e-mail after being released in 2004 announcing his desire to return to music, and fans staged a benefit to buy him studio time. Which I find genuinely heart-warming.

The new four-piece lineup features fellow original member Edward Ball and is playing around England. I wonder if the album is sequenced in the order it was recorded - it starts off a shambling mess. Imagine Wild Man Fischer fronting the Shaggs...an exaggeration, but only a slight one. But the performances quickly grow more confident, and miserable songs like "All The Young Children On Crack" give way to some happy-sounding tunes like "They'll Have To Catch Us First," a groovy bit of '60s a-go-go Mod pop that could get easily get a be-miniskirted Twiggy frugging, although, like the rest of the album, the playing is little ragged, and vocals are hardly pitch-perfect.

Elsewhere he salutes another '60s fave, The Velvet Underground, over a Casio beat, Wesley Willis-style; paraphrases the reggae classic "Uptown Ranking" by singing "Uptown top wanking," announces "Don't be fooled by the rocks - I'm still Danny from the block!" and delcares "The king's got his crown back, back on the throne" to applause sound effects.

The sadness always returns, though. In "I Hope You're Happy Now," Treacy moans, "I hope he's everything you wanted me to be...". Treacy was apparantly so overwhelmed to be playing music again, he would break down crying in the studio, and he certainly sounds like he's on the verge of doing just that throughout "My Dark Places."

Television Personalities: "I'm Not Your Typical Boy" - a lovely Daniel Johnston-esque piano ballad cloaked in sincerity, humility, and humanity.

TOTALLY RAD

The film "Dangerous Men" has become something of a phenomenon here in Los Angeles since it first appeared on screens last September. To quote an imdb review, "What is to be said about the movie that would make Ed Wood vomit with rage?... Filming began in 1985 only to be shut down ...then in 1995 to be refinanced and reshot in a desperate attempt to resolve the "story" with different characters of no logical connection!" As another reviewer describes it: "mountains explode, people grow beards in 3 seconds, men read from scripts that are plainly visible in the shot, bad guys get knocked out by scalp massages, women transport knives in the cracks of their buttocks, plots are abandoned ten minutes after being formed, title sequences contain no other name than "John S. Rad," nude men dance with cedar leaves in the desert, the same "punch...ah!" sound effect is used 24 times in a 30 second period."

The auteur of "Dangerous Men," one John S. Rad (aka Yeghanehrad), who did the music for the film as well just about everything else, has taken the show on the road to a few other cities, and to whet your appetite, has written a new song...just for you! Life getting you down, friend? Yeah, well, I bet even the most miserable sad-sack couldn't listen to this "song" without erupting into uncontrollable giggle-fits.

John S. Rad: "Dangerous Men"

EXOTICA: NOW!

I was in a used/collectable record store a year or two ago when I overheard two store employees talking about the lounge/exotica revival of the '90s: "Boy, that came and went in no time, didn't it?" Er, not quite. Yes, record labels exhausted their archives of oldies they could repackage, and the media moved on to other things, but many of us carried on just as as we had before my local mall opened and closed an Ultra-Lounge store.

If tiki/lounge is dead, someone forgot to tell Shag - the man's not just an artist, he's a cottage industry. Tiki/lounge asthetics have infiltrated the mainstream. In fact, the above-mentioned mall recently opened a Hawaiian/tiki themed store. Am I going to be too hip and complain about this? Nu-uh. I remember '80s decor fads that make tiki, no matter how trendy, infinitely preferable. Nagel prints, anyone? Didn't think so.

It's probably wise to not try and recreate the '50s as much as update them, as a new mashup cat named The RevTed has done with this Henry Mancini vs Beach Boys mix:

The RevTed: "God Lujon Knows"

In the mashup world, "God Only Knows" is known as the Acapella of Death - many mixers have been drawn to its beauty, only to have their tune dashed upon the rocks of harmonic difficulty. The Rev does as good a job as anyone.

England's Voodoo Trombone Quartet actually started off as one-man mashup machine Braces Tower before hiring so many musicians to realize his exotic big-band a-go-go fantasies that they are now far more then a quartet. And trombones ain't the half of it.

Voodoo Trombone Quartet: "Monster Island" - from their album. Only available on a British label for now, unfortunately, crammed as it is with swank numbers like "Voodoo Juju" and "Your Pleasure Is Our Pleasure."

Art Paul Schlosser - Inside Outsider

"Hi,I'm ART PAUL and although I admit I am a Christian this CD is not designed to make everyone give up there fun and only talk about Jesus but rather it is a fun music CD that I hope will help you understand better about Christianity.That God Loves you not God wants to destroy you."

Art Paul Schlosser has become, according to one Wisconsin paper, "arguably Madison’s most recognizable local musician," due to his painfully sincere lyrics, off-key singing, clumsy performances, and simple melodies. Which, of course, adds up to entertainment in my book - what's not to like about songs like "My Mother Is Reading A Book," "The Food Is Cool," and "Santa is Elvis"?

As the article points out, "do his fans “get” Art Paul Schlosser (if indeed there is something to “get”), or does he merely represent a subtle freak show, providing point-and-laugh amusement for drunk college students?...Is Art Paul Schlosser putting it on? Is he constructing his own image as a genial idiot savant whose childlike persona and amusing songs allow him to garner more money and attention than would otherwise be afforded someone of his limited musical skills? Perhaps yes, and perhaps not."

If he is a put-on, it's a remarkably consistent one - he's recorded numerous albums over the years. And yet, he certainly appears to behave like a show-biz professional - tv appearances, CDs, sites on MySpace, SoundClick, and garageband.com. Still, it's hard to believe someone would spend years faking songs like:

"Eat Nutriciously"

Maybe he has someone doing all this for him - he is married. Or maybe even "outsider" musicians are show-biz savvy nowadays. And "I Love My Mother" really is a great song, but I'm saving it for Mother's Day. Unless you want to buy it now - it's available through iTunes.

PAUL LOWRY: UNKNOWN GENIUS

Years ago, a British radio man/mad genius named Paul Lowry took existing recordings of popular favorites and used all manner of studio trickery to turn them into insane, hilarious "remixes": tape looping, interjecting sound effects, Chipmunk-like vocals, tape speed manipulating...the man would stop at nothing. The recordings, apparently never released, are similar to the music-concrete the avant-gardists were doing at the time, but filtered through a Spike Jones sensibility.

Reading, England's DJ/mashup loonies Pilchard (aka The Fruntroom 5) received a tape of Lowry's work thinking it was, in fact, the work of Spike Jones. But Spike was a performer - he did everything with a live band. This is clearly tape/studio tomfoolery, though very much influenced by Jones's brand of wacky musical comedy. Lowry even uses some of the same music as Spike - classical war-horses like the "William Tell Overture."

Unfortunately, little is known about Lowry. When I asked Pilchard for more info, he wrote, "There aint no chance - the guys dead. He was called Paul Lowry. The woman that gave me the tape is senile...He played on the radio - that's all I can tell ya. Actually-come to think of it-musique concrete MAY have been written on the tape. There's another geezer mentioned in the notes which alas I no longer have, jog me memory.. I dunno, I'll try track the old girl down." We're keeping our fingers crossed.

Paul Lowry

1. "I Got Rhythm"
2. "William Tell Overture"
3. "Sabre Dance": sounds like live pots'n'pans percussion; brilliant tape looping at one point
4. "Rudio Nasrael" (??): some mighty impressive belching in this one.

Kudos to Pilchard for performing some serious audio restoration on the tape.

UPDATE June 10, 2007: We still don't have much info on Lowry, but Ted from Redding CA confirms hearing "William Tell Overture" on a tape of BBC radio broadcasts, so it appears that Lowry, indeed, did these for the BBC.
UPDATE June 13, 2007: I wrote to the BBC. Their reply: "I note your interest in a gentleman called Paul Lowry who may have been employed by the BBC. Having checked our database, we have no contact details for anyone of this name." I'm starting to wonder if his name was, in fact, Paul Lowry. Maybe that was just the guy who owned the tape that fell into Scott Pilchard's hands...UPDATE July 8, 2009: All tracks now available HERE, thanks to Doklands, who also informs us: "I managed to identify the "Rudio Nasrael" track - it's the theme to the BBC show "Radio Newsreel", also known as "Imperial Echoes" and written by Arnold Safroni.

WEIRDPUNK L.A.

"WeirdPunk L.A": an album's worth of "weird-punk" from the Los Angeles underground.

Though hardcore, the fast, furious, guitar-driven form of punk, and it's attendant spikey-haired stage-diving audience, has been extensivly chronicled, and commercial radio-friendly New Wave acts live on in '80s club nights and hit compilations, another side of the late '70s-early '80s scene has largely been overlooked: the intelligent, intellectual, experimentalists. They're sometimes called "art-punk" and, yes, many of these groups had art school backgrounds, or played galleries as often as clubs, but really, isn't all music art? "Synth-punk" is another common term, but not all these groups used synths. The common thread was that they were, whether naturally or by design, weird.

Herky-jerky rhythms! Synth squiggles! Sarcasm! Featuring out-of-print (or never-in-print) classics from The Screamers, Wall of Voodoo, Oingo Boingo, The Suburban Lawns, and lots of great bands you never heard of.

UPDATE 8-6-12: Back on line here!

1. The Screamers: "Veritgo"
2. Wall of Voodoo "Red Light"
3. Suburban Lawns "Flavor Crystals"
4. Slow Children "Spring In Fialta"
5. Oingo Boingo "I'm Afraid'
6. Food And Shelter "Changing My Mind"
7. Nervous Gender "Fat Cow"
8. Rick Potts Band "Platform Swimfins"
9. Fibonaccis "Slow Beautiful Sex"
10. Bob & Bob "We Know You're Alone"
11. Karen Lawrence & The Pinz "March Of The Pins"
12. Abecedarians "Benway's Carnival"
13. Red Wedding "Drums"
14. Man Child "Mad Dream"
15. Bakersfield Boogie Boys "I Get Around"
16. Monitor "Beak"
17. Susan Rhee & The Orientals " I Love You I Hate You"
18. Irritators "Whack The Dolphin"
19. Din "Respond To My Thoughts Only"
20. Chuck Wagon [of The Dickies]: "Rock and Roll Won't Go Away"
21. Humanoids on Parade "Humanoids on Parade"
22. Bad Religion "...You Give Up"