Crapper's Delight: HC Strache

DJ not-i writes from Vienna:

"The head of an anti-foreigner right-wing party in Austria has made a rap song to reach out to, err, i guess young voters in the upcoming parliamentary elections. The title is "Österreich zuerst" ("Austria first"), sort of a variation on "Deutschland über alles." The lyrics are of course political in a very bad way ("If you don't want to be integrated, I've got a travel destination for you: Go back home, have a good flight, we have enough unemployment here.")

Anyway, you're not missing much if you don't understand German. The wackness of this guy's flow is obvious to the speaker of any language.

As you can imagine, the Austrian hip-hop scene figure he wants beef and are busy cooking up various dis songs. Hell, i might even produce something just to make more fun of this clown."

Neo-nazis always start with immigration, don't they? It's a good mainstream issue that they can use to get their foot in the door.

HC Strache: "Österreich zuerst" - Sorry I ever said anything about Average Homeboy!

THE "IN" SOUND OF JEAN-JACQUES PERREY

Legendary '60s Moog-master Jean-Jacques Perrey, 77 years young, is performing live for the first time on the West Coast this week, in support of his new album, due in September. We first wrote about it here last year.

He's performing along with his new cohort Dana Countryman of "Cool & Strange Music" magazine fame, who's also writing the maestro's biography. See them Saturday night in Seattle (oops, bit too late), at San Francisco's "Recombinant Media Labs" the 29th, and two shows in SoCal: a free(!) event at Analogue Haven in Pomona on the 30th, and the spot your intrepid reporter will be on the 31st: The Knitting Factory in Hollywood. Also on the bill: master thereminist Sukho Lee of Seksu Roba, & DJ sets by Otis Fodder of the Bran Flakes. "His show here - his first ever in Los Angeles - will feature a wealth of Perrey's anecdotes and stories as well as his one-of-a-kind music."

The cultural event of the year, no? I'm off to take my best space-suit to the cleaners - see you all there.

The worst sound in the world

Do your democratic duty and vote for what you consider to be the worst, most unpleasant sound you've ever heard. All in the name of science. Strangely enough, they don't use anything posted here.

The worst sound in the world

To whit: "Fingernails scraping down a blackboard…the scream of a baby…your neighbour’s dog barking: what’s the worst sound in the world? BadVibes is a new science project from Salford University that aims to find out just that. People can log on to the BadVibes website at http://www.sound101.org/ where they listen and vote on a collection of awful sounds, use the horrible sound mixer and even download horrible sound effects as ringtones.

But as Professor Trevor Cox from the University’s Acoustics Research Centre explained, there’s a serious side to the research as well. "The idea behind the project is to get people thinking about the complex way we listen to and interpret sounds. For instance, you can find out why we find the sound of retching horrible. By examining people’s voting patterns we will learn more about people's perception of horrible sounds. We hope to learn about what is the worst sound in the world, and maybe why it is the worst sound. It has been a lot of fun putting together the website, but I’m glad I no longer have to edit horrible things like the sound of my snotty nose!"

The project also includes an exhibit which is at the Museum of Science and Industry in Manchester from 7th November, and the results from the website voting will be analysed over the next six months."

Warm Bananaphones and Funky Muppets

You probably don't listen to too much children's music if you don't have to. But dig:

This one and (possible only) mashup by PF (who may or may not be from San Francisco) is one of my favorites, a LOL-out loud funny pairing of two of the most unlikely songs to ever be conjoined: The Normal's 1977 dark, droning, proto-industrial classic "Warm Leatherette," and kiddie-music star Raffi's typically cheerful, wholesome "Bananaphone," with a bit of Japan's noise combo Melt Banana thrown in for good measure. It all makes sense. Really.

PF: "Warm Bananaphone"

Another kiddie classic, "Mah-Na-Mah-Na," originally by Italy's sleazy soundtrack maestro Piero Umiliani, popularized by the Muppets, and recently remade by Cake, gets a funny, funky new life thanks to Boston's mash-meister Lenlow:

Lenlow: "Kanye Mahna" - Mr. West's "Golddigger" lesson, now aimed at the pre-school crowd; never too soon to learn about the ladies, eh, Kanye?

If you prefer the Muppet's version, Reading, UK's Pilchard gotcha covered:

Pilchard: "Macamuppet" - in which Animal does the Macarena with the Doors.

So what do professional musicians think about all this "illegal" activity in the music world? Well, Weird Al Yankovic's new album, "Straight Outta Lynwood" (release date: 9/26/06) features a track entitled "Don't Download This Song." Quothe his publicist: "...we are offering "Don't Download This Song" as a free unprotected MP3 in order to generate as many downloads as possible."

Weird Al Yankovic: "Don't Download This Song" - "You might end up in jail like Tommy Chong..."

Denny Blazin Hazen: Average Homeboy

Anyone remember Dee Dee King's album, "The Spotlight Kid"? As Dee Dee Ramone, the late, great Douglas Colvin was one of the world's greatest rock'n'rollers. As Dee Dee King, however, he was one of the world's worst rappers. But that album was "Fear Of A Black Planet" compared to the video output of the self-described "average homeboy" Denny Blazin Hazen, an unpretentious, painfully sincere Midwestern white rapper, e.g.:

"For recreation I
Like to shoot hoops
but not until I've eaten
all my Fruit Loops"

"Average Homeboy" - delivered with as much visual pizazz as is possible on a home editing system.

Again, I can make an mp3 available off the video if you sickos so desire.

HAND-FART MUSIC pt2

Some of you may recall the post last year about The Three Tendons, those clever chaps who make rude music by squeezing their hands together. A new master of manualism, Robert Wilson, was featured in this NPR radio piece, featuring tunes like

"Happy Birthday"

Some pretty incredible videos were posted as well. Gotta laff at:

"William Tell Overture" - Anyone want me to post mp3s of music taken from these vids?

Big thanks to Stymie!

MORE AND MORE NERD-CORE

Been out of state, then catching up at work, but - have no fear! - I'm back. So to make up for my absence, here's a heap o' new atrocities:

Super Mario: The Opera - Written last year by Jonathan Mann (also the voice of Mario), and performed at Los Angeles' CalArts, this isn't your grandpa's opera. Mostly-acoustic rock is more like it, with a sizeable cast playing the various characters.

"Space Crackers" is a similiarly nerdy concept from the Boston band Clawjob, but this isn't your grandpa's space-opera. Crunchy hard rock is more like it, with a sizeable cast playing the various characters.

From "Mario," "Conversation With God" has lovely, lush orchestration, complete with sitar, and existential dialogue between Mario and God, who is actually playing the video game. Huh?! (Thanks to Roman for the tip!)

"Space Pass" from "Space Crackers" features Ramones-y pop-punk, with a '50s kitsch sci-fi angle. Good fun.

THE GREAT RICHARD NIXON

Did anyone have more song-poems written about him then Richard Nixon?

A helpful Maniac emailed me this morning to remind me that on this day in 1974 a disgraced Nixon resigned as President of the United States and ask, "Wasn't there a song-poem about Nixon?" Well, Rodd Keith sang one on the "American Song-Poem Anthology," but there was plenty more - this page has seven, count 'em, seven mp3s available that sing Tricky Dick's praises, as well as dealing with other issues of the day such as the Vietnam War.

Although most would agree that this was truly a dark day in American history, Nixon still had his supporters - at least one song, "Richard Nixon in '76," was clearly written post-Watergate. I wonder if that lyric writer would still feel that way about Nixon now that more taped conversations have been released over the years, revealing Nixon in all his anti-Semetic, devious, dishonest glory. (Actually, he might like him even more!)

Gene Marshall, staff singer for Preview Records of Hollywood, seems to have been the go-to guy for Nixon song-poems, and most of these lyrics were written by one man, the clearly obsessed John Montague. Unfortunately, there's no mp3 available for "We Want Dick, We Want Dick, We Want Dick," and it's flip side "We Want Dick And Spiro, We Want Dick And Spiro, We Want Dick And Spiro."

SONDRA PRILL BLOWS KISSES TO THE UNIVERSE

Oh, this is big news.

Some of you may recall the post about Sondra Prill on Otis Fodder's 365Project. The audio to three of her songs were posted, but some saint has posted the entire oevre of Florida's public-access TV queen, 24 short video clips in all, on YouTube, documenting not only her singing (wildly uninhibited, and not bound by conventional standards of pitch), her Bride-of-Frankenstein hair and performing style, but also her, ahem, comedy talents. She plays several characters, although the biggest character would be Ms. Prill herself, who sadly hasn't been heard from much in the last 15 years.

Every clip is a jewel: decimating everything from "The Star-Spangled Banner" to Robert Palmer's "Addicted To Love," singing a duet with a guy injesting helium (!?), wearing fake plastic breasts, awkwardly flirting with an interviewer, serenading a visibly-uncomfortable caterer who happened to be on the set...the hits just keep coming.

I recorded the audio from a couple of these magical musical moments. I don't know why.

"Nasty Boys" video - Sondra does Janet Jackson with her trademark arsenal of facial expressions; you'll laugh, you'll cringe.
"Nasty Boys" mp3

"Pump Up The Jam" mp3 - proving that it is possible to rap off-key.
"Pump Up The Jam" video - Technotronic's hit set on the beach, with Sondra clad in...what the hell is that? A chain-mail bathing suit?

MORE NERD-CORE: FIRST BAND ON THE WEB

Listened to all those Dr. Who fan songs from last week? Then you should be ready to geek out on this:

A group founded by a secretary with no previous musical experience that sings about science has automatic outside-music cred, but this group can make an actual claim to history.
"Les Horribles Cernettes are the one and only High Energy Rock Band. They sing about colliders, quarks, microwaves, antiprotons and Internet," quothe their website, but they're not your usual nurds - these ladies can honestly boast to being not only the first musical group with their own website, but a picture of them was the first image on the internet. Founded by a secretary at CERN Labs in Geneva, Switzerland, they have a '60s girl-group style, even if the lyrics are incomprehesible to the layman.

Les Horribles Cernettes: "Antiworld" - "He stood up and he walked on the air...With a smile on his face he said "come on hon"/Then we jumped in hyperspace/And inversed my polarity" Aaah, so romantic...


Thanks to The Bobo!

"I wonder what a Kazoo would sound like if it was put through a wah-wah pedal?"

Haven't we all asked outselves that question at one time or another? Fortunately, two British guys calling themselves Ed Kazoo and Jim Wah (WahKazoo) decided to tackle this most pressing of concerns by doing just that. And what does it sound like? Well, as this version of the "Dr Who" proves, it sounds like a sick duck. I imagine a very drunk Donald Duck staggering around a pub singing along to a jukebox when I listen (and giggle uncontrollably) to:

Ed Kazoo and Jim Wah: "Dr Who"

Ed Kazoo and Jim Wah: "(I'm The) Urban Spaceman" - didn't think the Bonzo Dog Band could sound more silly then they already do...

I discovered these guys on this Dr Who remix page which features, apart from the expected techno remixes, some real oddities, like this sped-up acapella version of the theme done in the style of that infernal Crazy Frog. Ha!

Glenn Mullan: Doctor Who - Framster Who

Tech-xotica!

RIAA (Rockin' Internet Art Alternatives) present Tech-xotica!! - Afro-Latin mash-ups & Tiki-beatz for summer. Some old, some (like these) are new:

"It's Like That Summer Samba" - Run-DMC go bossa-a-go-go with Wander Wanderly.

"Armageddon It On (or The Gaye-Pride Apocalypso)" - Bill O'Reilly, Jerry Falwell and a gerbil get it on with Marvin Gaye over the calypso sounds of Blinky and the Roadmasters and M.I.A.'s "Galang" riddim.

"Laid Bamba" - Los Lobos does it with amorous Brit-rockers James.

It's been so frikkin' hot lately, however, I'm ready to post some Christmas tunes...

PRE-SCHOOL ELECTRONICA

A University of Kentucky music professor who invited Boston's djbc to speak at a seminar gave bc this recording of the prof's 7-year-old son, DJ French Fry, who performs solo on a MicroKorg synth. Pretty trippy stuff, and, as it's an instrumental, I have no idea what significance the title has. But I do know I'd like to hear this kid jam with Eyeball Skeleton.

DJ French Fry - I Wonder Why Elephants Have Trunks?

And here's the djbc d'n'b remix that will no doubt propel French Fry to Moby-like heights of stardom. Hey French Fry, when you hit it big, don't forget us little people!

Passion Boys make music about sexy ladie and nice music also, Yes!

Meet Hungary's belated contribution to '80s techno-pop, Passion Boys: "Szia (hello)! We Laszlo and Gyorgy come from small village is call Bataszek, very near from Budapest. We are make some music very much like name Passion Boys. We like make music about sexy ladie and nice music also."

As they say in their song "Passion Boys are Firemans":
"hello, fireman?" "yes." "I feel there is something burrrrrning." "yes." "can you come right away?" "yes, we comes."

Hey, they speak English better then I speak Hungarian: "Real music like is best from 80s. Not like modern rapping musics and no love music of computer mans...Funny story: when boy Miklos is too fat an we name he Miklos Meatlof like famos USA fatmans singer, Yes!"

Their latest tune is "Robot Sexie Time": "We make song about two robot is fall into love for first time an after make sexie!! Is for Miklos becasue Miklos is not have girl friend for so many time an is spend so too many time look picture of sexie robot like new foto!!!"

All this and more is available from their MySpace page. I think I'm the last man on earth who isn't on MySpace. This almost makes me reconsider.

TAMMY FAYE SINGS!

Singing christian puppet records. Need I say more?

Disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker, make-up victim wife Tammy Faye, helium vocals, her puppets Allie the Alligator and Susie Moppet, 6 songs no longer then a minute-and-a-half long available here.

"Praise The Lord" for such terrifying/hilarious entertainment.



Thanks to punkrecords.org!

SYD BARRETT

As I'm sure many of you have heard by now, Syd Barrett has died at age 60. Syd founded what I call the first Pink Floyd, as opposed to the second, Waters & Gilmour-led "Dark Side of the Moon"/"The Wall" Pink Floyd. The first Pink Floyd were, for a brief period in the late '60s, the wildest band in England, roughly equivalent to the Velvet Underground in the U.S. - an amazing discovery for someone like me, a typical raised-on-punk kid who thought Floyd stood for all that was pretentious and dull.

Syd was the first Floyd: singing, songwriting, guitar, heck, he gave the band it's name. When Syd became too acid-damaged/mentally ill to perform with Floyd he went from rock star to one of the first prominent outsider musicians, recording devasting solo albums that were as much musical therapy as art. After 1970, he never recorded again.

I used to listen to the first Floyd album "Piper At The Gates of Dawn" and his solo album "The Madcap Laughs" obsessively. The differences are stark. "Piper" is the world through Syd's eyes: a colorfully-produced wonderland of gnomes, living scarecrows, and spaceflight. The imagery, though phantasmagorical, is lucid.

Pink Floyd: "Arnold Layne" - who else was (is) writing songs about a clothes-stealing cross-dresser?

"The Madcap Laughs," recorded some years later, is like watching a patient through an observation window as he pathetically tries to play a guitar and sing. The meaning (if any) of the now-jumbled word-salad lyrics may befuddle the listener, but the pain comes through loud and clear: there's nothing romantic about mental illness. It's hell, like any other serious disease.

Syd Barrett: "Dark Globe"

Barrett's influence is truly inestimable: his songs have been covered by David Bowie, the Jesus and Mary Chain, Love and Rockets, REM ("Dark Globe," actually), the bands Baby Lemonade and Gigalo Aunt are named after his songs, Sid Vicious was partly named after him, and Robyn Hitchcock practically built his career on Syd's style. But, ultimately, his legacy goes beyond his music - without trying, but by simply being allowed to be himself, he paved the way for the punk DIY and outsider music traditions.

Totom: "Waving My Cactus In The Air" - not as pornographic as it sounds, it's actually Paris' mashup master totom expertly fusing Syd's "Waving My Hands In The Air" with The Pixies' "Cactus."

KOOKY KOVERS pt2: PASTEL VESPA

My GAWD, it's hot here in Los Angeles. If I can't be at the beach, then I'm chillin' to some kool 'n' kooky kover songs from the likes of Pastel Vespa, a swingin' Brazilian blonde babe now living in Australia. Ms. Vespa interpets the likes of Metallica, The Sex Pistols, and Prince with perfect '60s bossa-nova style. Compared to Nouvelle Vague (whose new album is getting blogged all over the place so you don't need me to tell you about it), she's got more toe-tappin' energy, and, of course, more authentic Brazilian flavor.

Pastel Vespa: "Blue Monday": never heard anyone else covering New Order and Joy Division at the same time - "Love Will Tear Us Apart" gets cleverly worked in.

Pastel Vespa: "Livin' on A Prayer" : the Bon Jovi hit; which gets me to wonderin' why all those '80 hair bands were usin' so many apostrophes in all the titles of the songs they were playin' and singin.' You just knew an album or song was gonna suck if it had apostrophes in the title. Would The Clash write a song called "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'"?


Big thanks to Turquoise Days!

KOOKY KOVERS pt1: CREEPY CLARINETS

One writer described the bass clarinet as sounding like "... an old, unhappy Jewish man with the flu." Despite (or perhaps because of) this, classically-trained Edmund Welles formed a bass-clarinet quartet - no other instruments allowed - and proceeded to cover songs like:

"Creep" - Radiohead have never sounded so creepy. My fave of the bunch, but you might like:

"Wild Boys" - Duran Duran have never sounded so listenable.
"Big Bottom" - You Spinal Tap fans can sing over this one: "My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo/Gonna sink her with my pink torpedo..."

Mr Welles & Co. also cover Nirvana, Black Sabbath, The Doors and the Pixies, as well as blues, jazz, classical and original musics.

YANKEE DOODLE HOMO

July 4th: Independence Day, America's most patriotic holiday. Time for that self-described "Yankee Doodle Homo" Mark Harris to sing of god and country in his own inimitable fashion.

As fans of Howard Stern's syndicated radio show have known for years, Harris propelled himself to semi-stardom by marrying aging (and soon dead) veteran performer Martha Raye, whose name and good works he commemorates (exploits?) in his campy cabaret show "Mr. Martha Raye" - he sings his self-penned showtune-style fingersnappers and regales audiences with jokes and anecdotes ranging from celebrity gossip to true tales of his own plastic-surgeries (he had a "testicle-lift"?)

Mark Harris is truly a portait of a man in denial: of his own utter lack of talent, the fact that he has not attained the superstardom he so clearly thinks he deserves, and of the fact that the conservative politics and religion he espouses have nothing but contempt for people of his orientation. Fascinating! An Ed Wood for our age.

Mark Harris "Remember The World Trade Center" mp3 - a high-kicking show-stopping 9/11 tribute tune.

You think that's tasteless? Check out the self-aggrandizing video - scenes of planes hitting the towers, mixed with footage of what appears to be one of Harris' cocktail parties, and pictures of Martha Raye. WTC; WTF?!?

Meanwhile, rx has just released a video of his classic George Bush-singing-U2 tune "Sunday Bloody Sunday", and not a moment too soon. Have an unsafe and insane Fourth!

SMASH-UP DERBY

You are all hereby directed to meet me this Sat. night July 1 at BootieLA in Los Angeles. It's the first anniversary of the all-mashup club, one of the few legal (for now) outlets of illegal music. No matter how controversial other forms of music have been, they've rarely been illegal (except for the 2 Live Crew). Hey, it's like the good old days of Communism! Remember the illicit thrill of listening to that smuggled-in Beatles album?

To celebrate, they've got alot lined up, such as drag-queen Princess Kennedy singing Kelis' "Milkshake" while handing out real milkshakes. And Smash-up Derby , America's only live mash-up band, will be playing a set. They have mp3s on their site, but of course they can't quite adequately convey lead singer (and Bootie dj) Adrian's glam persona.

Smash-up Derby: Talking Franz - The Head's "Burning Down The House" sounds great when sung over Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out"

So go. You can tell your astonished friends, "I drank a drag-queen's milkshake."