CASSIUS CLAY: "I Am The Greatest"

When great men die, of course, we should remember them by their weird novelty records.

To note the passing of the former Cassius Clay, Muhammad Ali, let's listen to The Lip From Louisville's early '60s album of his clever, funny poems, delivered with gusto. Damn near proto-rapping, I'd say. Some lame comedy sketches that he most certainly did not (entirely) write are in there too, but look on the bright side: bonus tracks that set his poems to groovy music. And then there's his singing... a karaoke-esque cover of "Stand By Me," and a ridiculous sing-along called "The Gang's All Here."

CASSIUS CLAY: "I Am The Greatest"

And don't forget his all-star kids albums:
  
"Ali and His Gang Vs. Mr. Tooth Decay" - From 1976, with Frank Sinatra! And Howard Cosell.

"The Dope King's Last Stand" - From 1977, with an even more all-starry cast. How's this for a line-up: President Jimmy Carter, Lily Tomlin, Pat Boone, Senator Hubert Humphrey, Billie Jean King, and Sinatra again.

As a Los Angeles native, I'm used to seeing celebrities here, as well as in Las Vegas, and New York. If you've spent much time in those cities you know that it's not a big deal, maybe someone will recognize a celeb, chat briefly, then leave them alone. But when I saw Ali strolling thru Caesar's Palace in Vegas, there was a veritable mob surrounding him. A peaceful, respectful mob, but still, I have never seen one individual create such a commotion. I think I saw the Pope, the President, and the cast of "Friends" waving and saying, "Hey, over here! What about us?!"

HAPPY (BAND)CAMPERS: WEIRD EDITION

"American Folk Music" is the most boring possible name for an album, but fear not! The latest release from veteran North Carolina wackos the Moolah Temple $tringband is anything but dull. They take songs from Harry Smith's venerable "Anthology of American Folk Music" and radically warp them by introducing such elements as exotic Middle Eastern-isms, clanging and banging percussion, incongruous '80s hip-hop style drum machine beatz, even a bit of rapping on one song, and mix them with the trad sounds of guitars, banjos, and a skillful fiddle that suggests that someone has been taking music lessons. The hideously/hilariously inappropriate combination of traditional folk music and Autotune (!) on "Farmland Blues" had me laffin' out loud. Also dig: the fuzz guitar crunch of "Little Moses" (even tho it goes on too long), and a version of "John Hardy" that might even be better than the Gun Club's? Scuzzy vocals are often distorted beyond recognition. "The Titanic," however, actually approaches mainstream respectability, complete with perfectly competent backing vox.

Moolah Temple $tringband: "American Folk Music"

More Bandcamp weirdness ahoy! L.A. nutters Freshly Wrapped Candies have unwrapped an old album of theirs from 1989 chock full of hermetic, inscrutable DIY obsessions that, perhaps inevitably, are sometimes reminiscent of The Residents, esp. on songs like "Grandfathers' Rug". Other standout songs like the downright catchy "Think" and the Beavis and Butthead-ish "Pitter Pat" don't immediately suggest any particular influences. Organically strange, but not off-puttingly so. It emerges from the haze with its' humanity intact.

Freshly Wrapped Candies: "I Like You" 

The EZ-Listening Gangsta Rap of DJ NoNo

 By request, the marching-band versions of Stooges classics is back up.

"Planned 10 years ago, the Ballroom EP (now album) has been a long time coming…
Mixing ballroom music – big band, jazz, bossa nova, exotica, swing, easy listening and classical pops – with hip hop and r n’ b." So sayeth that red, rad robot DJ NoNo (aka Tim from Radio Clash) about his mashup collection now on-line for your dancing/romancing/listening/downloading pleasure. And what a pleasure it is, mixing the likes of hardcore rappers Public Enemy with an exceedingly cheesy version of the "Mexican Hat Dance." One of the oldies that gets remixed is one of my all-time fave mashups: "Stripper Jackson," which features Jacko singing over a version of that bump-n-grind classic, "The Stripper." This is the kind of stuff that I used to feature regularly in the early days of this here web-log.

Only 9 tracks long, and it's all quite fun and ridiculous. And I'm not just saying that because it's partially dedicated to me. (Looks at the floor) Ah, shucks...

DJ NoNo: "Ballroom"

1. Mexican Love War (Public Enemy ‘Make Love Fuck War’ vs Geoff Love ‘Mexican Hat Dance’)
2. Push It Muchacho (Salt n’ Pepa ‘Push It’ vs Esquivel ‘Mucha Muchacha’)
3. March of the Forgotten (Joe Loss ‘Mark of the Mods’ vs Dre ft Eminem ‘Forgot about Dre’)
4. Swing The Guillotine (Death Grips ‘Guillotine’ vs Glen Miller ‘In The Mood’)
5. Stripper Jackson (Joe Loss ‘The Stripper’ vs Michael Jackson ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’)
6. Quando Tip (Q-Tip ‘Breathe And Stop’ vs Manuel ‘Quando Quando Quando’)
7. Super Wheels (Eminem ‘Superman’ vs Joe Loss ‘Wheels Cha Cha’)
8. Ludasifinado (Ludacris ‘Stand Up’ vs Laurindo Almeida ‘Desafinado’)
9. Cha Cha Like It’s Hot (Snoop Dogg ‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’ vs Starlight Strings ‘Unforgettable’ 2015 remaster)

TOILET TIDBITS

Zoogz Toozday returns with some re-up requests: the sick punk/jazz/prog of Zoogz Rifts' "Amputees In Limbo," "Island of Living Puke," and "Torment" are all back on-line. And if that still isn't enough scatological humor for ya, plug your nose and dive into this:

TOILET TIDBITS

courtesy of reader Duke Kola, who sounds like a pretty cool grandpa. He writes: "I made this mix (with a couple of changes) a few years back for my pre-teen grandson. Never fails to bring a few smiles to my face regardless of how many times I listen."

Now this may seem like a somewhat dubious concept for a mix, but if you're gonna sing about such stuff, you've got to have: a) a sense of humor, and b) a lack of inhibitions, both of which are sterling qualities for an artist to possess. Not to mention the fact that you've pretty much thrown all commercial potential and radio play hopes out the window once you've gone down this path, another admirable move. And this is indeed a very entertaining listen, more so than I was expecting. 

I personally would have added the Bonzo Dog Band's "The Strain," but I'm sure we all have our favorites.

-----------------------------------
01. Amsterdam Dog Shit Blues - Mojo Nixon
02. Caca De Vaca - Joe 'King' Carrasco
03. Snake Bit and Can't Shit - Root Boy Slim
04. Constipation Blues - Screamin' Jay Hawkins
05. Somebody Just Poop - Goofy
06. Somebody Farted - Bobby Jimmy
07. Fart - Breetles
08. I Can't Stop Farting - The Queers
09. Old Fart At Play - Captain Beefheart
10. The Phantom Windbreaker - Red Bovine
11. Pissin' In The Wind - Ernie Payne
12. Pissin' On Your Steps - Del the Funky Homosapien
13. Wee Wee - Abner Jay
14. Piss On the Wall - J. Geils Band
15. Urine Your Out - Prehistoric Cavemen
16. The Thing From Uranus - Sloppy Seconds
17. Shit Don't Stink - TMA
18. Shit For Brains - Nervous Eaters
19. Bag of Shit - Sean Price
20. Shit Can Happen - D12
21. Shaving Cream - Byron Lee
22. Disco Defecation - Flash Bouyancy
23. The Slurf Song - Holy Modal Rounders
24. When the Shit Hits the Fan - Circle Jerks
25. Piece of Crap - Neil Young
26. My Shit's Fucked Up - Warren Zevon
27. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee - Pancho and Sancho
28. I Ain't Gonna Piss in No Jar - Mojo Nixon
29. Don't Eat the Yellow Snow - Frank Zappa


Thanks a heap, Duke!

ODD-STRALIA pt 1: Ice Cold

By request, Scott Johnson's "Rock Paper Scissors" is back up. 


You may have seen that "viral" (as the kids say) sensation Babymetal, the cutesy Japanese girl metal band. But from down Melbourne way comes something even stranger: Satanic death-metal that isn't metal at all but hip-hop. Over boomin' (if dark) electro beatz, MC Ice Cold drops rhymes like "Your life I steal and your soul I’m takin /cookin MCs like a pound of bacon... dissers be dissin and the hataz be hatin /but it aint no thang when you’re in league with SATAN" (from the song "Awaken Ancient Spirits"). Vocals delivered, but of course, in that menacing Cookie-Monster growl. Very funny, but despite song titles like "Satan Iz Tha Gangsta" it's not intended to be a parody but rather, according to our Aussie spy Buttress O'Kneel, "he says it's more like a 'what if' - 'what if hiphop had been the outlet for necrosatanists rather than metal?' - like those books that imagine what it would be like if hitler won the war, or if the dinosaurs hadn't died out."

Get 8 free songs from the: 

Ice Cold Bandcamp page


I wonder if anyone has done anything like this before? After all, the inverse - ghetto gangstas playing heavy rock - has been around for decades, e.g.: Ice T's Body Count, Suicidal Tendencies, the "Judgement Night" soundtrack.

More strange sonic wonders from Down Under coming soon.  Thanks, B'O'K!

Fat Head's Conspiracy-Theory Rap

One of the latest amusing bat-shit crazy conspiracy theories is that the contrails exhaust coming out of airplanes are really "chem-trails" that drift on down to populated areas and supposedly do all kinds of terrible things to us. It must be true, it's on the internet! So I was delighted to hear this rap song on the radio that deals with this topic, a much more interesting subject than hip-hop's usual cliches, I'm sure you'll agree. Over a nice head-nodding beat, the rapper spits out a paranoid fever-dream of "weather warfare," demons, black ops, mind control, population control, martial law, etc. Who knows wtf he's talking about? Funny, but pretty freakin' psycho. Makes me wonder how seriously Fat Hed takes all this. You can listen to it here:

Fat Hed "Clouds"

or download it as part of the FREE! album "The Jump Room"

Of course only a really stupid super-villain would attempt a 'chemtrail' conspiracy, as any chemicals dropped at that great altitude would soon disperse into the atmosphere, leaving only harmless trace amounts by the time they reach our level. Or so "They" WANT you to think!  You're so naaiiiiive!!

I was raised during the heyday of the L.A. aerospace industry, and many friends and family members were/are engineers and pilots. (I actually get kinda nostalgic when I see contrails...) But to a segment of the population, science and technology is still as mysterious and scary as it was in the day when the first cinema-goers dove under their seats when a film showed a train approaching. Or the "cargo cults" of the South Pacific who built wooden airplanes in an attempt to lure back the great white gods who landed on their islands during WWII in their magic flying machines, bearing miracles like aspirin and chocolate. Surely, no mortal could create such wonders!

One Of The Most WTF-iest Songs You Will Ever Hear

Words fail me...a warning to the men-folk from a thoroughly eccentric (just take a look at these song titles), highly prolific Nigerian/American outsider recording artist.  Not safe for work, radio airplay, or your sanity. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

(Click on song title to go to divshare download:)

Chief Kooffreh - She Will Cut Your Balls Off 

L. RON HUBBARD SPLURGES ALL OVER YOU

"Force yourself to smile and you’ll soon stop frowning.
Force yourself to laugh and you’ll soon find something to laugh about. Wax enthusiastic and you’ll very soon feel so. A being causes his own feelings. The greatest joy there is in life is creating. Splurge on it!"

If you don't have those words memorized, you will, after hearing them repeated over and over on this ghastly 2001 album released by the Church of Scientology, voiced by a semi-all-star team of singers. It sets the poems of the cult's late founder L. Ron Hubbard over crappy music that sounds way too dated to have been recorded only 12 years ago.  I genuinely figured this was from the mid-'90s at the latest. So what's it's all about, Alfie?

- We kick things off with an intro from soul legend Isaac Hayes, who unfortunately only has a couple of quick cameos on this album. Hearing Hayes' trademark baritone speaking voice trying to give this drivel a bit of gravitas is pretty great - as funny as his "South Park" work.
- Anyone who thinks joining Scientology will give your showbiz career a boost should ask "fresh new singer" Shannon Star Roberts, or L.J. Jackson - this album is their sole Discogs credit. One of Roberts' boring songs references Scientology mythology: "Theta, Theta, See You Later." Catchy, eh?
- Carl Anderson apparently was one of the original stars of "Jesus Christ Superstar" and had some pop hit in the '80s "that endeared him to soap-opera fans" (gee, wonder why I never heard of him?); one of his two songs here is a mindbogglingly awful 16-minutes long. Two minutes would be bad enough, but, holy hell, sixteen interminable minutes? He should be shot! Oh wait, he died of an illness a few years after this album. Never mind.
- I always respected Doug E. Fresh as a hip-hop pioneer who recorded the classic single "The Show"/"La Di Da Di." But one of the low-lights of this album is the appalling apocalypse fantasy "We're Going Up While The World Goes Down," which Fresh futilely tries to pump up into a wave-your-hands jam despite lyrics like:
"I was in a Safeway row
of housewives and no chow
Who said they'd been forsaken
by even moldy bacon
The manager's cruel cry
Was the actual why
They'd ate up all the animals
And now must turn to cannibals"
Apart from retarded grammar ("The manager's cruel cry Was the actual why"?!?) Hubbard's attitude of: you're-all-gonna-suffer-and-die-but-we-won't-ha-ha! is hideously immoral for someone claiming to be a spiritual leader. It reminds me of the Xian fundies' 'rapture' fetish. Needless to say, the generic music has gone thru the Scientology washing-machine, bleaching out any chance of black funkiness.
- Someone named Pamela Falcon has the thankless task of translating one of Hubbard's free-verse poems into music, to whit: "CUPIDITY/Cunning mind/Which unnerves the eye/Unclean lancet." Come on everybody, sing along!
- Another low-light: albino blues-rocker Edgar Winter is one of those well-known figures I'd never really had an opinion on one way or another. Well, I have one now: I fuckin' hate him! His "The Joy of Creating" begins with him saying "Y'all know about the joy of creation? Well, this is how we do it down in Texas." He then proceeds to insult the entire Lone Star State with hysterical gurglings that pass for singing over pseudo-enthusiastic music that has all the soul of John Tesh. I have a hard time having much respect for someone  who would allow this abortion to be released under his name, with his consent, while calling himself an artist.
- Chick Corea, the guy who contributes the only boring parts to otherwise-classic Miles Davis albums, drops by with under two minutes of pointless piano noodling and recitation.

A former Scientologist known on-line as Tiger Lily wrote on an ex-Scientologist message board: "At the time I was in, those albums were touted as being so theta-infused that just listening to them was supposed to key you out. They had the songs on their phone system "hold", and played them in the lobby over and over (how the staff stood that I'll never know).

I took that to heart and listened whenever I could. I lived 2 hours from the Org so I would listen to those *&^%$%# things for 4 hours on course days trying to internalize them. I memorized all the words. I sang along.

I remember thinking it was pretty cheesy , but they told us that Ron's music was way ahead of it's time, so I just decided I must be stuck in the 70's or something and made myself like it."

Listen to the "way ahead of it's time" music here:

The Golden Era Musicians and Friends "The Joy of Creating"

1	Isaac Hayes–	The Joy Of Creating Prelude	0:48
2	Shannon Star Roberts–	Theta, Theta, See You Later	3:22
3	Shannon Star Roberts–	From Sea Of Dreams	2:46
4	Carl Anderson and Brenda Eager * –	The Love Of A Man	3:58
5	Doug E. Fresh–	The Joy Of Creating	2:39
6	Doug E. Fresh–	We're Going Up While The World Goes Down	5:55
7	Howard McCrary and L.J. Jackson–	The Joy Of Creating	1:12
8	Pamela Falcon–	The Sum Of Man	5:40
9	Edgar Winter–	The Joy Of Creating	2:32
10	Edgar Winter–	Blue Endless Sea	3:55
11	Elena Roggero–	The Joy Of Creating	1:41
12	Elena Roggero–	Stamboul	3:38
13	Chick Corea–	The Joy Of Creating	1:46
14	Carl Anderson and Elena Roggero–	Song Of The Bard	16:58
15	Isaac Hayes–	Envoi                                                           00:32

Sisqo's "Thong Song" for Music Box And Theremin

I'm sure we all have our own favorites, but my pick for best cover of Sisqo's ubiquitous 1999 hip-hop hit "The Thong Song" for antique-sounding music box and theremin would have to be the one by British duo Eccentronic. It's short, maybe too short (not to be confused with the rapper Too Short, har har), funny, and really quite nice. One of those audio anomalies that shouldn't exist in our universe, much less work as well as it does. It's a free download:

Eccentronic  "Thong Song"

Speaking of audio anomalies, can someone explain why I was driving down the freeway yesterday evening listening to the radio when a robo-voice came thru my speakers telling me that the Vermont off-ramp was in two miles...and I don't have GPS?!

Never heard from the phantom voice again. Freaky.

CURL ACTIVATE 2: More '80s Hip-Hop Novelties

This sequel to my first batch of novelty rap 12" singles can be enjoyed and/or appreciated on a number of levels, depending on how funny/funky/cheesy/awful you find them. And they certainly are an '80s time capsule. But they're also a bit of a corrective to the standard rock-crit history of hip-hop, which goes something like this: "Rappers Delight" kicks it all off, Grandmaster Flash's "The Message" brings in social commentary, Run-DMC make it a legit musical form, Public Enemy and BDP bring more social commentary and, along with N.W.A., express the seething rage of young black ghetto-dwellers.  Riiiight.


What is the real story of hip-hop?  Certainly, the above Rolling Stone-approved history was part of it, but, like early rock, it was a genre for kids, and largely a singles medium (full-length albums were reserved for true 'artists.') Plenty of dance crazes, answer records, and comedy tunes. And I should know, I was one of those kids, listening to Compton's KDAY ("Cold rockin' the radio!"), yucking it up to the likes of The Fat Boys, Bobby Jimmy & The Critters, and The Fresh Prince before he adopted the bizarre stage name of 'Will Smith.' But I also  thought it was plenty avant-garde, actually, what with the lack of singing, the human-beatboxing, electronics, turntables, sampling.  Seems totally obvious now, but at the time it was quite fresh and radical.  There had never been anything like it. 

This collection is indeed what much of the first decade of hip-hop consisted of: goofy novelty records, some by celebrities jumping on a trend, some by comedians, some by one-off opportunists, even some by actual rappers. No-one cared about "keepin' it real." It was, like garage-rock in the '60s, just a goof, a bit of fun not to be taken too seriously. After all, it's not like hip-hop was ever going to actually achieve mainstream popularity, right?

CURL ACTIVATE 2

1. The Qwarymen - Beatle Rap
2. Greg Poltrock / Rick Rumble - Mayberry Rap
3. Joe Piscopo/Eddie Murphy [& DJ D.S.T.] - Honeymooners Rap
4. Rodney Dangerfield - Rappin' Rodney
5. Shawn Brown - Rappin Duke (now you know what Biggie was referring to when he said "Remember 'Rappin Duke'/daw-ha daw-ha")
6. Elvira - Monsta Rap (technically, I think this came out in the early '90s, but boy, it sounds Eighties)
7. Hurt 'Em Bad - NBA Rap
8. Ron & DC Crew - Ronnie's Rap
9. Doonsbury Break Crew - Rap Master Ronnie
10. Bobby Jimmy & The Critters- Roaches (parody of the Timex Social Club hit "Rumors")
11. Dan Aykroyd & Tom Hanks - City of Crime (from the "Dragnet " soundtrack)
12. Eddie Murphy - Boogie in Your Butt
13. Hurt 'Em Bad - Boxing Game
14. Mel Brooks - Hitler Rap
15. Chicago Bears - Super Bowl Shuffle


Thanks to reader chuck for the suggestions - wish I could have found a copy of 'Contra Rap'! (And I'd kill for a copy of the Lakers rap record.)

"...the first hip-hop album of all time to be comprised of only animal noises"

"Hello, my name is TD Cruze and I am a 20 year old hip-hop producer from Valdosta, Georgia.

I thought you'd like to know that I just released the first ever instrumental hip-hop album that contains no instruments - just animal noises."

 

Now THAT'S the kind of email I like to get. Hot damn!  What a concept. And what an execution, too - only 6 songs, but a more utterly mental release you have not heard all year. You could even dance to it, although the idea of a club full of kids dancing to sampled animal sounds is too surreal to contemplate.

 

If you couldn't handle my last post of animals "singing" christmas songs, maybe these critters will float your boat (or ark, as the case may be). Listen/buy here:

 

TD Cruze: "The Savage Beast"

 

Hey, ya cheap bastards, you say you don't wanna pay to download the whole album? Mr. Cruze is allowing me to post one free song for y'alls, the hyena-voiced "Laughing Matter," available HERE.

 

 

ALBUM DU JOUR #8: ...To The Ridiculous

There's just no way you can dismiss today's music scene as not being as good as that of some mythical golden-age. I have so many new releases to cover, I split them up into last months' "From The Sublime..." and today's "...To The Ridiculous." The first batch was largly instrumental avant-gardsey-ness, but this batch, tho just as experimental, is more in the whacked-out weirdo spazzy song-form end of things. Most of these albums are not downloads, but are for sale - makes great gifts! 

M4M...To The Ridiculous

1. F.K. Dreyer & Mark Recording Co. "Intro/Aries":  from the album - and, yes, there's a whole album of this - "Your Dogs Horoscope"
2. Michael McDaeth "Happy Just To Be Happy": a few tracks here from Seattle's McDaeth, and his 7-count 'em-SEVEN disk album, "The Socket Set." It's ramshackle one-man-band rock, sometimes a little too loose, sometimes dead-on in a Half-Japanese-for-the-Nirvana-generation kinda way.
3. Looping Jaw Harp Orchestra "Tuba for Klaus (Tribute to Klaus Nomi)": Vienna, Austria unleashed this mad crew of jews harps as the lead instruments, joined by the likes of steel drum, marimba, kalimba, accordion, etc.  No normal Instruments! The entirety of their latest album "Universal Language" is great. Just the fact that they dedicate a song to Klaus Nomi proves their awesomeness.
4. The Chewers "Burn It Down": Another fantastic album- I reviewed their first one, and the new one "Chuckle Change And Also" is even better; low-key Beefheart/Residents influences filtered thru a Southern low-life sensibility, with lyrics examining a side-show's worth of human grotesqueries. Get it.
5. The Toilet Bowl Cleaners "I Forgot to Wipe My Bum": one of 2 tracks off their album "Songs About Poop, Puke & Pee." The fact that such an album even exists is amazing; the fact that the Toilet Bowl Cleaners have many albums, all focused on the subject of human waste, and that some of the songs are actually good, is nothing short of mind-boggling. The main toilet-bowl cleaner sez that he's released 8000 songs in the last 4 years.  That's kinda prolific. Wanna hear 86 songs about dead animals?
6. Kitschstortion "Cutie Honey" - Another returning guest. The Kitschstortion release featured on these pages last year used the bizarre vocal synth gizmo the Vocaloid to dazzling effect. This is from the new EP "How To Have Boring Dreams"
7. Michael McDaeth "She's Just A Torso"
8. Flossie and the Unicorns "Jr. Troopers Are Go": 37-seconds of the album "LMNOP."
9. People Like Us "Seven Degrees": Another super bit of sound-collage pop from this British master (mistress?) of the form; the new one is "This Is Light Music." Sawing sound-effects (not musical saw) adds percussive zeal to samples of cheeseball '60s EZ instros, Morricone themes, and girl groups. I could leave this one on repeat for very long times.
10. 'Church On The Move' - Dad Life: I once knew a guy whose parents lived down the street from Snoop Dog in a thoroughly suburban neighborhood, far, far away from South Central LA. They'd see the infamous 'gangsta' shopping, taking his kids to the park, etc. This funny rap song about everyday domesticity really is 'keeping it real.'
11. Michael McDaeth "From the Midwest" 
12. The Electric Grandmother "Mr Clyde": Not sure if a 'sitcom-core' band is really something the world needs, but this alleged ode to Bill Cosby's character is an agreeable bit of bizarre pop.
13. The Chewers "The Fat Man"
14. Looping Jaw Harp Orchestra "Wabba Dubu"
15. Toilet Bowl Cleaners "Gotta Poop, Puke & Pee (Simultaneously)"
16. Bobby & Paul "DMT9": these guys are from the late great electronic noise band Margaret Raven.  They sent me this a year or two ago and I forgot about it.  Sorry, guys, it's good stuff!

ALBUM DU JOUR #7: Better Science Communication Through Hip-Hip

Oh Baba, Baba, why do you bother?  

The emcee behind "The Rap Guide To Evolution" and "The Rap Guide To Human Nature" is again trying to use music to hip the kids to science. Baba Brinkman has dropped a new free download EP called "The Infomatic"  in which, on the title song, he describes himself as "a cross between Christopher Wallace and Christopher Hitchens" and quotes Carl Sagan.  Sagan was denied membership in the National Academy of Sciences, and, despite official explanations, it was really because Sagan tried to do what Brinkman is trying to do - deal with the enemy.  Yes, trying to explain to the masses not just the facts (which constantly change) but the methodology behind them is like trying to explain to a fish what land is like. On the last track, "Naturalizm," even Brinkman sounds a bit frustrated.

This particular release don't have a theme, as the five songs deal with various (if thoroughly non-hip-hop) subjects like: science is sexy, reading is cool, and why global warming deniers are a buncha kooks. Which probably isn't going to get much of an audience beyond some science geeks and, well, people who read blogs like this and are looking for strange, obscure musics. You gotta love hearing a Beyonce-like r'n'b chick singing: "In the mind of a climate skeptic/science is a liberal conspiracy" as Baba drops rhymes like: "I think I'll just stick to the scientific consensus/which says that there's an upper limit of/350 parts per million of atmospheric carbon."  Get down!

Still, Brinkman's got mad flow, the beats ain't bad, and it sure beats the kids' global warming musical "Penguins On Thin Ice" all to hell.  Good luck, Baba...


Baba Brinkman:  The Infomatic

DOWN BY LAW: NYC PunkFunk '78-'84

Let's boogie to a collection of the greatest dance "hits" of what has been called the "No Wave" era of NYC music.  Late '70s/early '80s downtown Manhattan was bursting with alt-classical composers, free jazz, New Wave, performance art and, most notoriously, noise bands. Apart from downtown, hip-hop was getting started in the South Bronx and Queens and house music was growing. All of which would coalesce into the punk-funk (aka mutant disco) of the bands presented here. Never has "dance" music been so dark, noisy, and experimental. Unlike the earlier sexy funk of James Brown et al, this stuff is uptight, tense, full of punk's nervous energy. And if the disco they were playing uptown at Studio 54 was slick and glamorous, this music was low-budget, as dirty as a SoHo street corner.

Has there ever been a more inclusive music scene? Black, white, Puerto Rican; gay & straight; male, female, and undetermined; jazz, rock, avant-garde - everyone grooving together.  All you needed was a throbbing bass line and some cowbells and congas.

Most of what I know about the earlier New York Dolls/CBGB era I got from history. But this stuff, like the Suicide song featured here, I remember. Whilst visting my family back east, my cousins would take me to clubs like Area, Danceateria and yes, CBGBs (in the days when they didn't check IDs too carefully), I bought some of these records back in the day, I'd hear 'em on the radio. Bi-coastal rivalry meant that this music wasn't as acceptably cool as the hardcore punk scene raging around me in LA (remember Fear's "New York's Alright If You Like Saxophones"?  A song I loved, by the way) - but I dug it. I hadn't heard some of these songs in ages, but they hold up really well - it helps that not much music has been made like this since (no one plays percussion anymore?), so it still sounds fresh and fun.

DOWN BY LAW: NYC PunkFunk '78-'84

1. Fab Five Freddy "Down By Law"
2. Liquid Liquid "Cavern" (Perhaps the biggest "hit" song of this genre, and, yep, where Melle Mel got the music for "White Lines")
3. ESG "Moody" (oft, and I'm talking oft sampled band of three sisters/sistahs)
4. The Del-Byzanteens "My Hands Are Yellow (From The Job That I Do)" (History remembers this band for featuring future filmmaker Jim Jarmusch, but they actually were pretty cool.)
5. The Bush Tetras "You Can't Be Funky"
6. Lizzy Mercier Descloux "Wawa"
7. Dog Eat Dog "Rollover"
8. Cristina "What's A Girl To Do"
9. Kid Creole & The Coconuts "There But For The Grace of God Go I"
10. Konk "Elephant" (Speaking of Jim Jarmusch, Richard Edson from this band would act in Jarmusch's film "Stranger Than Paradise," co-starring another downtown scenester, John Lurie of jazzers The Lounge Lizards)
11. The Work "Nearly Empty"
12. Pulsallama "The Devil Lives In My Husband's Body" (This very large all-girl band featured future actress and Bongwater member Ann Magnuson)
13. Material "Square Dance" (featuring future producer-to-the-stars Bill Laswell)
14. The Dance "Do Dada"
15. James White & The Blacks "Almost Black 1" (Some of James White/Black/Chance's band quit to form Defunkt)
16. Defunkt "Blues"
17. Ike Yard "Cherish 8" 
18. 8 Eyed Spy "Motor Oil Shanty" (singer, in the loosest sense of the word, Lydia Lunch was previously in notorious noise band Teenage Jesus and The Jerks)
19. Loose Joints "Pop Your Funk"   (featuring '80s NY avant-disco mastermind Athur Russell)
20. Suicide "I Remember"

This scene is not totally forgotten - there are some good books that cover it: "The Downtown Book," "New York Noise," "No Wave", all of which make the point that music was just one element of the downtown scene - painters, photographers, filmmakers, dancers, and performance artists all got thrown into the mix.  No one seemed to do just one thing. And they also point out the scene's downfall: rising real estate prices that made Manhattan living impossible for starving artists, AIDS, and the inevitable mainstream absorption.

Oh, and the expression 'down by law' meant that you were hip, street-wise.  As Grandmaster Flash's Furious Five once rapped: "New York New York, big city of dreams/but everything in New York ain't always what it seems/you might get fooled if you come from out of town/but I'm down by law and I know my way around."

Bobby Jimmy And The Critters‎– "Ugly Knuckle Butt"

Looks like I'm the only person in the world dedicating to preserving '80s rap novelty records.  I mean, someone's gotta do it, right?  There's a million histories of jazz, rock , punk/alternative, etc.  Will there be no-one to tell the story of L.A. radio DJ Russ Parr and his def comedy band Bobby Jimmy And The Critters?

"Big Butt" was the big hit, and it still amuses.  It should be noted that founding member of NWA (recently nominated for the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame!) Arabian Prince, and none other than Dr Dre himself are responsible for some of the songwriting here.

'80s electro beatz, a guy rappin' in a funny voice about big butts - come on, admit it.  It's fun stuff. Even if it's actually kinda awful. But that's funny, too.

Bobby Jimmy And The Critters ‎– Ugly Knuckle Butt

UPDATE 10/11/2012: Aw, durn, the song "Just 4 The Hell Of It" is a bad copy. Sorry. I'll see if I can record a better one.

A1		Knuckle Draggers Backing Vocals, Written-By – Kim Hairston	6:01
A2		You're My Women Written-by [Music] – Arabian Prince	4:28
A3		And The Flygirls Scream Written-By – Jeff Page	4:59
B1		Big Butt (Remix)	4:08
B2		Just 4 The Hell Of It Written-By – Arabian Prince	4:11
B3		Ugly Knuckle Butt Written-By – Dr. Dre

Def Emcees Rhyming About the Civil War 'n' The Panama Canal 'n' Shit

Na Style Jaa are a hip-hop crew out of Lansing, Michigan who claim to be fed up with the usual cliched subject matter of most rappers, so they started writing songs that "focused on a point in history, although it is usually done in a fun and interesting way." Okay, I'm with you.  "For example our song 'Party at the Panama Canal' has a central idea that, since the panama canal took 10 years to build, there must have been a huge party to celebrate, so get the whiskey and the beer." Say what?

They don't claim that this is educational "Schoolhouse Rocks" kiddie stuff, tho I suppose that it could be used for that purpose.  And it's not usually explicitly comedic, tho it can be kinda funny hearing sincere, factually accurate songs about Fort Knox, lumberjacks, earthquakes, Woodstock, The American Civil War, and, yes, The Panama Canal, while still trying to keep it gangsta (in a white-bread kinda way). Beats range from really good to okay. "Call Me Maybe" doesn't seem to have anything to do with their concept - it's just tasty pop music.

I doubt that Na Style Jaa (pronounced "nostalgia") are going to hit Kanye-like levels of superstardom with this approach (and dressing up as Abe Lincoln won't help either), but I certainly wish 'em the best of luck. 

Not crazy about all their stuff, but ya gotta love a song called "Electric Toothbrushes" that actually is about exactly that.  Did you know that electric toothbrushes have been around since 1956? You are now that much smarter.
Listen/download here:

Na Style Jaa Soundcloud page

Mr. T's Commandments

Mr. T was made for love.  And if you don't believe me, watch him push someone down an elevator shaft in the vid below.

A pre-gangsta rap star Ice T worked on this album. I wonder if Mr. and Ice are related?  They share the same last name...

Back in my '80s boyhood, me and some friends saw Mr. T at a sporting event. One of the guys went up and asked him to autograph his program.  He just wrote a big "T".

Mr. T's Commandments (1984)

(After clicking the above link, scroll down for a choice of downloading options. You may have to wait a few secs.)

1. "Mr. T's Commandment" - 4:59
2. "Don't Talk to Strangers" - 5:12
3. "The Toughest Man in the World" - 3:55
4. "Mr. T, Mr. T (He Was Made for Love)" - 3:21
5. "The One and Only Mr. T" - 4:46
6. "No Dope No Drugs" - 4:36
7. "You Got to Go Through It" - 4:27
8. BONUS TRACK! Mr. T's Commandments (Instrumental)

That's Athientertainment!

If Christian and religious music is a niche market, the pro-science/atheist music scene is practically microscopic. I bought a few CDs recently that are for sale from outlets like the Center For Inquiry and The Freedom From Religion Foundation.  Yep, they have gift shops, too.  Good timing: now that the Higgs Boson particle has been found, our ideas of physics (The Standard Model) have been confirmed, which means we pretty much know what the universe is made out of.  Pat yourself on the back, human race!

Dr. Stephen Baird of Stanford University is an actual scientist, as well as being the frontman for The Opposums Of Truth and The Galapagos Mountain Boys.  I generally find his style of music - hillbilly/bluegrass - kinda irritating, what with all them high screechy voices and plinckety-plunkety banjos and fiddles and whatnot.  But, somewhat to my surprise, I started diggin' these albums ("Darwin, Darn It!" and "Ain't Gonna Be No Judgement Day: Scientific Gospel") after a couple spins. Really well played, and it's always funny hearing technical jargon sung with enthusiasm.

The Voices Of Reason are a Los Angeles a capella vocal group, here covering/rewriting "The Hallelujah Chorus" and the old "Negro" spiritual "Joshua Fit The Battle of Jericho." I saw 'em open for Julia Sweeney's show "Letting Go of God" a few years ago.

And here's some songs from previous posts that have since gone off-line:

Anthropologist Richard Milner: "Charles Darwin: Live and In Concert" is channeling the great naturalist thu witty, upbeat original songs with rapid-fire rhymes that would give eminem a run for his money. I hear the likes of Noel Coward, Cole Porter and his admitted heroes GIlbert & Sullivan.

Dan Barker is an atheist satirical songwriter, like a one-topic Randy Newman or Warren Zevon. He's released several albums, including "Beware of Dogma."  It features "My God is in My Soul," a brilliant track by Michael Newdow, the guy who tried to remove the phrase "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance (who has a pretty interesting CD himself). It includes samples of profane voice mail messages left by furious Christians. They're not just dropped onto music, but are ingeniously integrated into the lyrics of the mock-reverent "hymn." The result walks that hilarious/disturbing line. "Fleas" is a parody of Joyce Kilmer's poem about how I think that I shall never see a poem lovely as a tree, blah blah blah.

Baba Brinkman (a Canadian, eh!) first appeared in these pages with his rap version of The Canterbury Tales. His album "The Rap Guide To Evolution," (available from his site) is, well, just that. It's scientifically accurate, musically solid, even funny sometimes. But dealing with biological complexities can make the songs amazingly wordy, e.g.: the finely funky song posted, set at a dinner table as our hero tries to reason with a stubbornly unscientific family. I'm certainly aware of the large number of religious creationists out there, but the feminist who says gender has no basis in science threw me for a loop. Are there still people who think like that? I thought that was a relic of '70s hippie-dom.

"A Brief History of Rhyme: MC Hawking's Greatest Hits": Stephen Hawking: brilliant physicist, considered the heir to Newton and Einstein; crippled by Lou Gehrig's disease, he speaks thru a voice synthesizer. MC Hawking: his hard-core hip-hip alter ego. So someone gets ahold of the type of voice synthesizer Dr. Hawking uses and records a buncha profanity-laden rap songs. About science. Sounds like it might be funny for maybe 30 seconds, right? Guess again Einstein, this is genius - whoever is behind this knows both his science AND his hip-hop. The debut album "A Brief History Of Rhyme" is dripping with tunes both hilarious and (I hate to say it) even sorta educational..Funny, righteous, boomin' beats. "Entropy" is a parody of Naughty By Nature's "OPP" (with another dig at Creationism thrown in), "What We Need More of is Science" peels New Age kooks' caps back, and "UFT For The MC" is The Sex Pistols' "Anarchy In The UK" with new lyrics reflecting the Hawkman's quest for a Unified Field Theory. The real Stephen Hawking is aware of this project and has given it his blessing.

Athientertainment: a MusicForManiacs mix

(After clicking the above link, scroll down for a choice of downloading options. You may have to wait a few secs.)

1. The Galapagos Mountain Boys - Walk Down In The Water
2. The Voices Of Reason - The Evolution Chorus
3. Richard Milner - Darwins Nightmare
4. Dan Barker - Fleas
5. Dr. Stephen Baird And The Opposums Of Truth - Randomness Is Good Enough For Me
6. MC Hawking - Fuck the Creationists
7. Baba Brinkman - Creationist Cousins 2.0
8. Dan Barker - My God is in My Soul
9. The Voices Of Reason - Battle 'Tween Church And State
10. Richard Milner - Why Didn't I?
11. Dr. Stephen Baird And The Opposums Of Truth - I Have Seen Evolution With My Own Two Eyes