Lloyd Marcus - American Tea Paaaaaar-TAY!

My fellow Americans! Not too crazy about any presidential candidate this year? Here's someone more entertaining then all of them put together: an ultra-conservative black man!  Who can sing like a Motown star! We truly live in an age of wonders.

Lloyd starts off this 2009 release dealing, like any good politician, in generalities - stuff that anyone can get behind. He even takes a swing at Louis Armstrong's chestnut "Wonderful World."  But then you get two back-to-back bits of hilarity, the somewhat baffling (and thoroughly dated) "Twenty Ten," and his "My Girl" parody, where Marcus sings the praises of the likes of Sarah Palin and the already-forgotten Michelle Bachman. Classic. Just the thing to 'take back America' to the good ol' days of slavery, segregation, lynchings... "What a wonderful country this is!"

But hey, if nothing else, he is a pretty decent singer. A patriotic round of applause for our representative from the great state of Utah, Windbag, for sending us this one.






Lloyd Marcus - "American Tea Party"

1	American Tea Party Anthem
2	We the People
3	Feet to the Fire
4	Wonderful Country
5	Twenty Ten
6	Our Girls
7	Hello Mom, It's Me
8	Let the River Flow
9	United We Stand
10	Can't Afford the Sunshine
11	Dance with the Devil
12	It's About Love

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

It's amazing what sorts of things actually became hit records in the Sixties.

Buddy Starcher was a country singer/guitarist best known for the goofy, not-entirely-accurate, 1966 proto-conspiracy theory record "History Repeats Itself," which, according to wiki: "...hit No. 39 on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart and the album of the same name from which it was drawn peaked at No. 37 on the U.S. Country Albums chart." And what an album it is, both fascinating as a historical relic, and as uniquely absurd entertainment.

Starcher intones these melodramatic spoken-word pieces like a good-ol-boy who's put on a suit and is giving a very grave speech to the local Kiwanis club. All of his conservative messages and sappy stories are backed by somber patriotic and country music, except for the comic relief track "A Taxpayer's Letter."  In "Day of Decision," Starcher claims that "...this is the age of the American cynic. The year of the unbeliever. The day of doubt." Woo-hoo, it's about time! "We change channels when a political discussion comes on."  You say that like it's a bad thing. "We've decided that elections and politicians have been bought and sold, like cattle." Er, no comment.

What the hell is up with "Eve Of My Multiplication"? Is it about someone with a math test the next day? Re: "The Fall of A Nation": Atilla The Hun's name was pronounced "AT-la"? Well, maybe it was. Not like he's around anymore to ask. "Judge, What About Me?" is supposed to be a tear-jerker about a "lame" boy and his divorcing parents, but I LOL-ed throughout this unintentional comic gem. Not so funny is the pro-Vietnam bullshit, e.g: the redundantly titled "Brave Men Not Afraid," in which we are informed that soldiers are not afraid to die. They aren't, eh? (Don't you love it when non-soldiers speak for soldiers?)

The hit single claims to find a number of parallels between Presidents Lincoln and Kennedy. I guess this was supposed to be considered weird and eerie, but it's really just a bunch of meaningless coincidences, some of which aren't even true. You could do this with any number of things, even without having to make up facts, and indeed there are some other similar tracks on this album. I think it's time for new records of this sort. How about the chilling parallels between John Cale and Brian Eno? (cue dramatic music)

- Both were born in the UK, and moved to New York City.

- Both came to prominence as founding members of hugely influential avant-rock bands.

- Both left those bands after their first two (2) albums, after clashing with the bandleader.

- Both became producers of some of the greatest artists in alternative rock.

- John Cale = 8 letters
- Brian Eno = 8 letters

- Both were born in months that start with the letter 'M':
John Cale in March
Brian Eno in May

- Both performed on the albums "The End", "June 1, 1974", and "Wrong Way Up."

- Both were male.

- Both were white.

- Both were bipedal.

- Both had brief but torrid affairs with Dawn Wells, who played 'Mary Ann' on "Gilligan's Island" (unverified)

Yes, my friends, it would appear that once again...history repeats itself.

Buddy Starcher "HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF" 
(there's some skipping on track 2; sorry, I did my best, even put coins on the tone arm, etc.)
 

1	History Repeats Itself
2	The Great Decade Of The Sixties
3	Eve Of My Multiplication
4	Sniper's Hill
5	Last Supper
6	I'm In A Jam, Jim
7	History Repeats Itself Part II
8	A Taxpayer's Letter
9	Day Of Decision
10	Judge, What About Me?
11	The Fall Of A Nation
12	Brave Men Not Afraid

 

THE COMMIES ARE COMING! THE COMMIES ARE COMING!

The Berlin Wall may have fallen 20 years ago, and you can buy McDonald's in Red Square, but the United Nations, that festering hot bed of godless Communism, is still around. Side 1 of this ludicrous fear-mongering document from 1962 pounds home the notion that anti-Americanism is built into the UN. Side 2 repeats the malarkey that is still heard today about America being 'founded on Christian values,' citing The Mayflower Compact, and something Woodrow Wilson said. For more shoddy research, unconvincing arguments and implausible conspiracies, dig this spoken-word, very sample-able LP:

Billy James Hargis - The UN Hoax (1962) 

You will be shocked - shocked! - to know that Hargis' career was knocked askew by a sex scandal. Wiki sez: "In 1974, when Hargis was nearly 50, he was forced to resign as president of American Christian College due to allegations that he had seduced college members. Two of his students claimed that they had had sex with Hargis—one was female, one was male. Other students corroborated the story. The account was reported by Time magazine in 1976, along with other alleged incidents at Hargis' farm in the Ozarks, and while on tour with his All American Kids musical group."  The UN, laughing diabolically, had their revenge!

(Thanks once again to windy)

Negativland Live - "Helter Stupid Tour" 1989

At the time this excellent board tape was made, multi-media collage/ performance art/ prankster legends Negativland had been around since the early '80s, releasing several albums that served as warm-ups for their glory years of the late '80s/early '90s, when they ruled college radio, signed to the indie label everyone wanted to be on (SST Records), and generally moved from being mere (if brilliant) performers/recording artists to becoming a genuine cultural force, merry pranksters manipulating the gullible mass media, and daring to pull down the pants (so to speak) of some of the biggest figures in the music industry.  They paid for their hijinks big-time, but ultimately came out the other end bloodied but unbowed. Lo these many years later, as seen in today's post-internet media-overload environment of mashups, youtube, etc., they seem positively visionary. And this performance finds them at the top of their game. Even if you're very familiar with Negativland's "Escape From Noise"/"Helter Stupid"/"U2" era (as I would imagine many, if not most, Maniacs are) this is still a fresh experience, as they take elements from their album tracks and rework them into lovely new mutations.

Negativland Live - Hampshire College 1989

Side 1:

1 - Christianity Is Stupid
2 - Helter Stupid
3 - Escape From Noise
4 - Time
5 - Another Perfect Cut
6 - Free TV Or Pay TV
7 - The Playboy Channel

Side 2:

1 - Playboy Channel 2
2 - Why Don't They Blow Us Up?
3 - I'd Like A Piece Of Meat / Michael Jackson
4 - U2
5 - Car Bomb

This comes to us from maniac Bob Berger. Can't thank him enough. He writes: "Recorded off the sound board onto Maxell XLIIS cassette with whatever tape deck was present, this tape has been legendary among all of my friends for many years. The sound quality is amazing... I've never heard Negativland recorded quite so well... Given our state(s) of mind at that show, I have no idea how we managed to capture this as well as we did... but here it is. At home, I've chopped these bits up into each track as best I could, but I figured that it would be best to preserve the whole show's continuity as two sides of the, now infamous, cassette.

Enjoy.

colunco23"


And - hey! - let's not forget to salute "guest vocalists" like the recently departed  Casey Kasem, and  L.A newscaster Hal Eisner. When on those rare occasions I stumble across Eisner's TV appearances, I chuckle, almost expecting him to say, "This is Hal Eisner. This is stupid."

RIP Snuggles.

Peter Sellers & Spike Milligan: Strangest Comedy LP Ever?

The Goon Show was hugely influential to Monty Python, British comedy in general, and even The Beatles (George Martin had worked with the Goons before his stint with the mop-tops). Count Otto Black has kindly sent our way this utterly bonkers album from two Goons, writing: "In 1974, Spike Milligan and Peter Sellers thought it might be fun to make a record called He's Innocent Of Watergate, Or, Dick's Last Stand. The result, a gleeful and genuinely deranged mélange of vicious satire, relentless political incorrectness (in every possible sense of the word - you have been warned!), and sheer Dadaism pleased almost nobody and offended quite a few. The title song is actually quite catchy..."

The Count ain't kidding: volume and tape speed fluctuations, obviously fake audience  sounds, and a variety of voices (impressive American accents!) all add up to a head-scratching/head-spinning experience. Especially remarkable considering how Sellers was at the height of his post-Pink Panther fame at the time of this album's release.

Peter Sellers & Spike Milligan - He's Innocent Of Watergate, Or Dick's Last Stand

Plus!  Added to the file, two short tracks from Derek and Clive aka Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, another legendary British comedy duo. If your only knowledge of Moore is his "Cuddly Dudley" rom-com persona, take heed!  With both the pre-Python 'Beyond The Fringe' quartet, and subsequent partnership with Cook, Moore was actually party to some of the greatest British cutting-edge comedy ever. The tracks included here, "Kirk Douglas" and "Sex Crime," are genuinely hilarious, not just the bizarre artifact the Sellers/Spike album is.

Thanks, Count Otto!

SUPERSHRINK!

Alen Robin, a comic with a droll, very nasal voice, took the Buchanan & Goodman "Flying Saucer" concept - intercutting found recordings with original comedy - and applied it to political speeches. His "Welcome To The LBJ Ranch" hit the top of the pops in the mid '60s, and can be found in approximately 84% of American thrift-stores.

This album continues the concept, with American politicos Humphrey, Thurmond, Rockefeller, Lindsay, Nixon, LBJ, Agnew, Buckley, Reagan, and Daley finding their voices ripped out of their original context, now making various bizarre and neurotic statements to Robin, playing their psychiatrist. It's still quite funny and clever, even if you don't know much about the speakers. Even more impressive: it's recorded live. Not sure how he did it in the days before laptop samplers. Maybe he had all the voices, and pauses allowing for him to speak, pre-recorded on a long tape. If so, his timing's amazing.

The above review was taken from my review of another Alen Robin album I posted few years back, with the names of of the sampled parties changed.  There is one difference with this album, tho - the groovy psych rock of Billy Mure that abruptly cuts in and out of the funny faux-interviews.

Both sides of this album are pretty short (side two's only ten minutes long) so you just get two tracks here, one for each side:


 Alen Robin: "SUPERSHRINK!"

SPRINGTIME FOR MUSSOLINI

Everything's always "Hitler this, Hitler that." What about Mussolini, huh? He was a bloodthirsty dictator, too! And he was Hitler's bud, eventually overthrown and killed by his own Italian countrymen, they hated him so. Well, not all of them. Like whoever started the mussolinibenito.net site (sign their guestbook!). Quite a generous assortment of pro-Fascism/Il Duce mp3s are found on the site - mostly music, but some speeches ("discorsi") as well. The music seems to consist of upbeat marches and rousing sing-alongs, e.g. "Allarmi siam Fascisti," which translates to "At arms, Fascists!" It's the kind of pre-caffeine anthem you need on a Monday morning.

 

This article details Il Duce's love of music.  He even played the fiddle.

 

CANZONI MP3 DELL' EPOCA FASCISTA - click on 'Canzoni MP3' in the left-hand column

There are also some Irish rebel songs on the bottom of the page. I don't know why.

 

(I tried to add info to the mp3 tags of the songs I downloaded, like 'Mussolini songs' or whatever, but it wouldn't let me. It's locked, I guess.  Buncha fascists...)

"Mitt Romney, A Hero In My Mind": OUTSIDER MUSIC VIDEO AWESOMENESS

Thanks to Mrs Fab for sending me a link to this hilarious/awful home-made music video of an old guy named William Tapely singing about...I'm not really sure, even tho its title would lead us to assume it's an endorsement of the Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Tho it's all-too-short at 1:59, it has still left us with much to contemplate:

- The Casio-riffic keyboard stylings and cartoon-character vocals

- Dig them backgrounds!

- Someone's really going to town on the rinky-dink drum machine...hey, what the hell time signature is this song in anyhow?  I tried counting it out and gave up.

- Gibberish lyrics with no rhymes or sense of rhythm.

- Abrupt ending

Now this guy's a hero in my mind.

AMERICA ROCKS!

A song written by an old conservative politician called "America Rocks"?  Sung by a bunch of unknowns riding on the coattails of their famous older relatives? A "rock" song as slickly produced as an advertising jingle?  How can it miss?!?  Happy Election Day, America!

Crank up "America Rocks," by The Osmonds - Second Generation, co-written by U.S. State Senator Orrin Hatch:

HERE.

"It's totally cool, it's totally hot!"




Thanks (?) to windy.

"NOTHING QUITE PREPARED ME FOR GROUND ZERO"

(Don't forget to do your patriotic duty and Vote for M4M Idol!)

You maybe getting 9/11 fatigue right around now, and those bad tribute songs I wrote about last year won't help, but this rousing musical theater-style song should pick you right up - after all, it's by a singing telegram guy. As his website says, it's his job to make people happy ("Ask about our special Neil Diamond tribute.")

The song starts playing automatically once you click on this page (AND you can read/sing along with the printed lyrics):

Kerry Prep - "Ground Zero"

And how 'bout that Burger King ad, eh? Even more tasteless than their fries. Thanks to IVOR for the tip.

KUMBIA QUEERS

Kumbia Queers are an all-lesbian Latin American band that cover punk, New Wave, heavy metal, and pop classics in the style of Columbia's great gift to the musical world, cumbia. They change the lyrics to reflect their interests, e.g.: Madonna's "Isla Bonita" becomes "La Isla con Chicas" ("The Island of Girls") and Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" is now "Chica de Metal," that is: "Metal Girl" (or "Chick").

Punk classics. Cumbia style. With lesbian lyrics. Does it get any better?!

Well, it could get a little better. Over the course of the entire album, it's apparent that their singing is merely okay, and that they favor the same tempo throughout (some songs could use a little speeding up.) But when that "Iron Man" riff slams down, joined by Latin percussion and cheezy keyboards, all is forgiven.

Kumbia Queers "Kumbia Nena"

01 - Chica De Calendario
02 - Que No Quede GuÌeya (Grupo Bronco, a popular Mexican band)
03 - Kumbia Dark (The Cure "Love Song")
04 - El Veraneo
05 - Mis Botas (Nancy Sinatra)
06 - La Isla Con Chicas (Madonna)
07 - Chica De Metal (Black Sabbath)
08 - La China Es Cumbianchera (Ramones "Sheena Is A Punk Rocker")
09 - Kumbia Zombie

And I threw in a bonus track, this excellent mashup:

Kumbia Queers vs Beastie Boys - dj Guztavo

VINYL-PALOOZA #7: Music For Tree-Huggers

If you like trees - I mean, if you really like trees - well, today's your lucky day: here's an entire album's worth of songs about our leafy, barky buddies, courtesy of the US Dept. of Agriculture. Your tax dollars at work! Released in connection with the Bicentennial in 1976 (not sure what the connection is there, but, oh well) folkie Ray Schmitt and the Free State String Band play original, painfully earnest songs with lines like "Have you ever seen a tree cry? Well I did/Have you ever heard it sigh? well, I did." Beavis and Butthead's hippie teacher Mr. Van Dreesen probably has this album. On 8 track.

Just as I was starting to zone out from all the mellow vibes, along comes the song "Just A Tree," a kind of funky jazz rap song about all the things we make out of trees, with multiple vocalists, including children. Cool! And "Imagine," (not the John Lennon song) is really cool - a psychedelic jazz trip-out, with Yma Sumac-ish soaring female vocals. Imagine...Alice Coltrane making

public service announcements. I guess they ran out of ideas for more tree songs because the last two tracks are wild bluegrass instrumental jamz, played so fast I thought I had the turntable on the wrong speed. Can't blame 'em for the filler tho - I mean, how many songs about trees can one write?

 Ray Schmitt and the Free State String Band "A Forest Is..."

Schmitt is still around, mostly making documentary films, but he has a few CDs for sale as well on his site. Since we just had Earth Day, and Arbor Day is coming up (hey, remember Arbor Day?) if there was ever a time to listen to an album like this, this would be it.

Thanks again, windbag!

VLADIMIR POOTIN'

Yes, this recent video of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin plunking out the piano line and singing "Blueberry Hill" at a star-studded charity dinner has been getting mainstream press coverage, but if you all ignore as much of the mainstream media as I do, you might not have caught it. It would have gone great on my "Politics of Dancing" collection of politicians' atrocious musical moments.

I was amazed to see that James Brown's main man Maceo Parker was leading the band. Did they do any JB remakes? "Living in America" could have been "Living in St. Petersburg;" "Please, Please, Please" could be "Borscht, Borscht, Borscht." "I Got Vodka (I Feel Good)." "Papa's Got A Brand New Invasion of Chechnya." Oh yeah. I got a million of 'em, folks.



Another weird thing about this: backup singers I understand, but during the spoken-word part, he has backup talkers.

THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH

Jimmy McMillan, representative (and possibly only member) of The Rent Is Too Damn High Party, is running for governor of New York. He'd get my vote. He's got a lot going for him:

- his super-fly facial hair.
- the fact that he once walked all the way from Brooklyn to Buffalo.
- his prodigious use of clip art.
- his funky synth-and-drum-machine tunes. Every song is about how the rent is too damn high. ("You Never Cared" has a particularly illin' groove.)

Jimmy McMillan - The Rent Is Too Damn High (10 songs)

The election is this Nov. 2. Don't let me down, New Yorkers!

OBAMARAH

Don't know who this Radio Crack fella is, but he's got lots of media cut-ups/sound collages. And they don't get much funnier then this one, featuring the world's most powerful person. And Barack Obama.

Radio Crack: Obamarah

WE WANT BIG DICK NIXXXON

'Twas exactly 50 years ago that Richard Nixon debated John F. Kennedy. He lost the debate and the election, but an unknown citizen who sent his home-scribbled lyrics and a check to a song-poem company was not discouraged:

Gene Marshall: "We Want Dick, We Want Dick, We Want Dick"

Gene Marshall: "We Want Dick and Spiro, We Want Dick and Spiro,We Want Dick and Spiro"

This fascinating article describes how Nixon recovered from his loss by recruiting help from the TV comedy show "Laugh-In," thus ushering in the era of image over substance.

Would Nixon have been a fan of this blog? After all, he hated all that "decadent" modern art (as did so many others before him.) But we've posted so many songs about him! And they're usually sung by this groovy cat, Gene Marshall:

Thanks to Chris G.!

BAD 9/11 TRIBUTE SONGS vs. BAD 9/11 CONSPIRACY SONGS

There are LOTS and LOTS of sincere, well-meaning, awful songs by amateur tunesmiths commemorating the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. They're usually sappy, melodramatic ballads. Sometimes, as in songs that feature child narrators pining for their dead parents, they're almost downright tasteless, reducing an epic disaster to the level of a tv movie tearjerker. These kinds of songs often invoke patriotic or religious themes. Hey Christians! Did you know that Islam is based on the Judeo/Christian tradition? Yep, they believe (and the Koran reiterates) Bible stories. Therefore, Christianity is not the opposite of Islam, atheism is. No-one sings about that, tho. Anyway. Some of these songs are so inept that they're quite entertaining:

Jay2d "Freedom Fell" - Just when you think it can't get any worse, a guitar solo wanders in, seemingly from another song.

Kevin Fortin "I Still See" [UPDATE 9/11/10 9:00am-dude asked me to remove his song; damn, how'd he find out about it so fast? But it's available elsewhere on the web] - Unintentionally funny song-poem-esque lyrics on this one.

At perhaps the other end of the political spectrum, there's the more recent phenomenon of songs by 9/11 conspiracy kooks claiming...oh, who the hell knows? Their grasp of engineering is about as flabby as Creationists' understanding of biology and they're just as illogical. Actually, I would think that only a Republican would buy these ideas - who else would think that the thoroughly inept Bush administration could pull off such a massive conspiracy? They could barely tie their own shoes. At least this guy's funny:

The Free Bees "9/11's A Lie" - To the tune of "Stayin' Alive." He's the Weird Al of kooks!

Zan Overall "I Want To Believe You Mr President" - This guys was 83 years old when he recorded this Sinatra-ish finger-snapper. And he doesn't believe Jews died in the Holocaust either. I admit, I'd love it if he did a whole album.

WELCOME TO THE TERRORISTDOME

Fun-da-Mental are a veteran rap group based in England whose 2006 song "Cookbook D.I.Y." was banned there because it gave explicit instructions on how to make a bomb. Bandleader Propa-Ghandi is a Pakistan-born Muslim. Though the song is open to interpretation as it is narrated from a number of points of view, Mr. 'Ghandi didn't come off too well when he was interviewed in the new Bill Maher film "Religulous." When Maher asked him about the fatwa against writer Salmon Rushdie, the rapper (aka Aki Nawaz) appeared to condone it. Is he a fun-da-mentalist?

So far as I know, this song is still banned in the UK, and has never been released in the US.

I always liked Fun-da-Mental's music. They were a kind of Indo-British Public Enemy, decrying social injustice and racism over Bollywood-sampled beats. And I dig the music of this tune. But, as I said to my wife, I don't know if the real Ghandi would appreciate having his name appropriated by a group who named their album (from whence comes this song) "All Is War (The Benefits Of G-Had)." She replied, "Yeah, but you liked "Cop Killer"!

Fun-Da-Mental: "Cookbook D.I.Y." (mp3)
Fun-Da-Mental: "Cookbook D.I.Y." (video) - As if the point could be missed, the lyrics/instructions are spelled out on the bottom of the screen.

Weird trivia: Aki Nawaz played drums in Southern Death Cult, who became one of my favorite guilty-pleasure bands, The Cult. I'll leave any "death cult" jokes up to you, dear readers...