Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Sounds Of The American Fast Food Restaurants

As a follow-up to last months' posting of Gregg Turkington's Sounds of San Francisco Adult Bookstores is the equally silly:

The Golding Institute-Sounds Of The American Fast Food Restaurants (1996)

17 minutes of barely discernible audio recorded "in the field" in a KFC, McDonalds, Jack in the Box, etc., tho Turkington's droll, incisive, funny narration is again the star of the show.

Narrator [Introduction By] – Golding Institute, The, Ryan Kerr

A2KFC (6th Avenue & Geary Boulevard, San Francisco, CA)
A3Jack In The Box (11th Avenue & Geary Boulevard, San Francisco, CA)
A4Taco Bell (Highway One, Pacifica, CA)
A5Nation's Giant Hamburger (Westlake Mall, Daly City, CA)
A6Subway (Skyline Plaza, Daly City, CA)
B1Hot Dog On A Stick (Stonestown Mall, San Fancisco, CA)
B2McDonald's (Stonestown Mall, San Francisco, CA)
B3Burger King (John Daly Boulevard, Daly City, CA)
B4Straw Hat Pizza (Westlake Mall, Daly City, CA)
B5Round Table Pizza (Oceana Boulevard, Pacifica, CA)

Monday, October 13, 2014

Christmas 2001: A Space-Age Adventure

The "Space-Age Santa" collection from a couple Christmases ago featured a track "from a kiddie xian xmas album that I found in a thrift-shop called "Christmas 2001: A Space-Age Adventure"; I actually digitized the whole thing, but, believe me, you don't need to hear it." Well,apparently someone DID need to hear it cuz yesterday I got this comment: "I would do anything to hear "Christmas 2001: A Space-Age Adventure" again. My children's choir at church performed this in December of '79. You said you digitized it... Is it something I could hear?" 

You'd do ANYTHING, eh..?  *Makes diabolical face, rubs hands together* Mwa-ha-ha-haaa! Oh, all right, here it is:

Flo Price - Christmas 2001 A Space-Age Adventure

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

UnPop Music - A MusicForManiacs Sampler

All music that isn't classical, jazz or ethnic/folk is 'pop', meaning 'popular.' Except when it isn't. Here are some new releases you should run out and buy (and some not-so-new ones that I slept on) that have everything a pop song should have: brevity, melodic vocals, toe-tappin' beats, clean production, energy...heck, even danceability. Everything except actual popularity. Mostly these are tuneful tunes sporting very funny, clever lyrics (perhaps too witty for the masses), with a kouple of kooky kovers thrown in.

UnPop Music - A MusicForManiacs Sampler

1. ac00perw - "Smells Like Teens": Nirvana re-imagined as sleazy Steely Dan-type '70s soft-rock.
2. Iggy Pop - "Monster Men (les zinzins de l'espace)": In 1997, The Iggster sang the theme song to a French kid's cartoon show called "Space Goofs;" how punk is that?!
3. Jens Lekman - "A Higher Power": great bad rhymes, from this Scandanavian's 2004 album entitled (speaking of Iggy) "When I Said I Wanted To Be Your Dog."
4. Larry Gallagher - "I'm Sorry for What My People Did to Your People": wickedly funny Tom Lehrer-esque satire, from the album "Can I Go Now?"
5. Maya Beiser - "Back In Black": from the new album "Uncovered" of massed overdubbed  cellos playing instrumental versions of rock and blues hits; I'm not really sure why this exists. Dig the video of her cello-riffic cover of Led Zeps' "Kashmir" below.
6. One And Seven Eighths - "Pegasus (The Camping Waltz)": Most tracks on their album "Modern Camping Songs" are real nice ambient/abstract electro instros, but this brilliant novelty is the best thing that Viv Stanshell never did.
7. O-Type - "Stupido": New vinyl re-issue of this MX-80 Sound spin-off sounds like a lot of other '80s noise rockers, until the vocalist starts channeling a panoply of fascinating, horrific characters, e.g.: the hapless protagonist of this song, rendered in a 'retarded guy' voice at once funny and disturbing.
8. Sid Ozalid - "Elephant in a Sack": Frequent contributor Count Otto Black slipped us these short, silly tracks from one of his fellow Scotsmen, an oddball known more for poetry than music; from "Songs & Stories From a Suitcase", the 1982 EP by Sid Ozalid & His Legendary All-Stars.
9. Sid Ozalid - "My Tortoise Can Burst Into Flames"
10. Sid Ozalid - "This is the Story of the Missing Jacket"
11. Twink The Toy Piano Band - _{ ·_ U _· }_: The latest from the master of toy-tronica has a cute album cover/title ("Critter Club"), cute tarot-like cards of animals, cute song titles (all typographic symbols), but a decidedly more mature sound; the large supporting cast features a number of horn players, giving excellent tunes like this one an almost jazz feel. They grow so fast!

(Thanks again, Count!)

Thursday, October 02, 2014

FILTHY FRIDAYS: Halloween Instrumentals (2 Disks: 60 Tracks)

Another request satisfied: for what is possible the strangest comedy album ever, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan

And another weekend is upon us, presenting you-all with yet another opportunity to temporarily (or not?) cast aside your nerdly pursuits and let our continuing survey of mid-century sleazy-listening musics help turn you - yes, you! In the Spock ears - into the heppest cat or kittie on the block. This real real gone assortment of surf, garage, r'n'b, soundtrack themes, and assorted radio ads is packed with both stars (Joe Meek's Moontrekkers*, The Ventures), and forgotten regional releases. Rock'n'roll as it should be, before it went middle-class and respectable.

Need something to look at while listening? The great lowbrow artist J.R. Williams put these comps together, so eyeball his way-out artworks. (Wish so many weren't sold out - I gotta get that Uncle Fester one.)

J.R has added a few more goodies for your trick-or-treat bag at the bottom of the page.

Halloween Instrumentals (CD 1)
Halloween Instrumentals (CD 2)

But wait! There's more! Dig these short mixes, for ghouls on the go:

Cool Ghouls mix:  J.R.'s Fun House (formerly "J.R.'s Prints of Darkness"): Cool Ghoul mp3 mix
J.R.'s Fun House (formerly "J.R.'s Prints of Darkness"):...
Roland - Billy Duke & the Dukes Dinner With Drac - John Logan Dance Along With Dracula (Doin' the Drac) - The Monstrosities Casa A Go Go - Count Von Shukker...
Preview by Yahoo
J.R.'s Fun House (formerly "J.R.'s Prints of Darkness"):...
My Girl Friend Is a Witch - October Country Draculena - Aaron McNeill The Monster Miss - Miss L.L. Louise Lewis My Baby's Got a Crush on Frankenstein - Soupy Sal...
Preview by Yahoo

FANGS a million to J.R. Williams for all this ghastly goodness.

 *The record was banned by the BBC as being "unsuitable for people of a nervous disposition" 

Monday, September 29, 2014

Bernie Green Plays More Than You Can Stand In Hi-Fi

Hey, it's this blogs' 10th anniversary in a couple of weeks! What are we doing? Where's the party at? I have no time to plan anything, but I'll show up. Heck, I'll bring the beer.

By request I've re-upped lots more Zoogz Rift than you can stand, not necessarily in hi-fi.

Bernie Green only made a few albums as bandleader, but they are eccentric indeed. The fact that one of them was done in association with "Mad" magazine should tell you something. This release isn't really Space-Age Pop, swing, or exotica, nor are we exactly in Spike Jones novelty territory either. I don't know what to call it - big-band circus music, maybe? RIYL: orchestral Raymond Scott, or Carl Stalling. 

The exciting percussion-fest  "Railroad Train Samba" shares album space with the self-explanatory "Saxophobia," the ambitious (and quite insane) "Concerto For Calliope," and a cartoonish version of the Cuban standard "The Peanut Vendor." Perhaps fearing that this was indeed more than his listeners could stand, Green cools out with some low-key easy-listeners ("Summer," "Idyl") that aren't at all funny or eccentric, tho I do dig the noir mood of "Caesar's Soliloquy."

Big thanks to windy for this one!

Bernie Green Plays More Than You Can Stand In Hi-Fi (1957)

A1La Sorella
A2Mister Peepers Theme
A3Ragging The Scale
A4Railroad Train Samba
A5The Virtuous Orchestra Suite
A6Caesar's Soliloquy
A7National Emblem March
B1A Frangesa
B3Concerto For Calliope
B5Double Blues
B7The Peanut Vendor

Friday, September 26, 2014

The Story of the First Voice Synthesizer, The SONOVOX

By request, now back up:
- Strange novelty songs collection "Fun Music"
- Zoogz Rift "Murdering Hells Happy Cretins"

Long before Peter Frampton's talk-box, the Vocoder, or Autotune, there was the Sonovox, demonstrated here in what must surely be the strangest "pop" music of the 1940s:

Anyone have a spare Sonovox lying around? It's almost David Dole's 100th birthday, and he'd really like one. Granted, the considerable historical importance of this gizmo almost assures that it won't be found in too many attics or garages - museums, more like.  But he really deserves one. After all, he was one of it's first users. 

If any invention was truly out of time, the Sonovox is it. It's ability to create strange electronic sounds and music would have been welcomed in the post-Moog '70s and '80s when bands like Kraftwerk and Zapp were artificially processing their vocals. But, incredibly, the Sonovox was invented at the height of the Big Band era. For the most part, people didn't really know what to do with it. But our special guest poster today is here to tell us about the one industry that did utilize the Sonovox: advertising. 

I am quite amazed and delighted that Mr. David W. Dole is able to give us this first-hand account of the history of the Sonovox. I don't know if it's story has ever been told in such detail in public before. Here's the man himself:

Sonovox enthusiasts: It must have been around 1942... I was 28 years old - working in the "broadcast department" (of course then that meant "radio" only) at Henri, Hurst & McDonald - an ad agency - 520 No. Michigan- Chicago. About 1940, in California, Gilbert Wright was dressing for the day and was using his new electric razor with which to shave. Some 15 feet away - in the bedroom, his wife called to him with a question. He answered while stroking the electric razor over his throat. Mrs. Wright called to him: "What did you say, honey? - it sounded like your razor was talking to me!" Voila! Birth of an idea! 

Gil thought it thru - and about two years later he and wife were visiting her brother (I think that was the relationship) in Chicago - and putting out the word they had something new and unique called Sonovox for which Gil had obtained a patent. Gil's brother-in-law was a partner in a radio rep firm on Michigan Avenue. The word went out, through the brother-in-law's sales reps to the timebuyers in Chicago that Sonovox was issuing an invitation to visit the radio rep firm and learn about Sonovox. I was interested and visited - and learned how to become a Sonovox articulater. I spent perhaps 6 or 7 lunch periods - slightly extended - using Gil's equipment plus a 10" Victor Red Seal phonograph record of Andre Kostelanetz orchestra of some 40-60 musicians playing "Mary Had A Little Lamb". 

I was particularly interested in the capabilities of Sonovox and how it might effect my then current job. You see I had been a radio sound effect artist in Minneapolis and had moved to Chicago and joined the agency for John Morrell and Company - meat packers - in Ottumwa, Iowa for their product, then the largest selling dog food in America. On the program, encouraged by the announcer's "Come on, boy. That' it. Sit up! Speak, speak:" And with that I would whine, growl, and end with "Woof, woof, Red Heart" The announcer would repeat it - "That's it - Red Heart"... in three flavors: Beef, Fish and Cheese! Americs's largest selling dog food!" I was curious as to whether Sonovox might either put me out of business as a sound man - or would be a tool to use in place of my live performances ! Turned out neither! 

As I was deciding on this, Mrs. Wright came to me, complimented me on getting the use of Sonovox down pat and asked if I would consider making a trip to New York on their behalf as an articulator. It seems that they had sold the idea of using Sonovox to Bromo Seltzer's agency - articulating a steam engine chugging along repeating "Bromo-Selt-zer - Bromo- Selt-zer", but that Mrs. Wright had been the articulator and the client felt that the product would be better represented if the articulator was a male. (The Sonovox technique is sexless but the client was not persuaded.) I replied "Yes, be glad to". But it proved un-necessary - the client was convinced Sonovox was sexless. 

I'm still in the market to acquire Sonovox equipment with which to entertain my grandchidren! Know where I can acquire a unit? David W. Dole 

There are a number of wonderful old "sono" radio commercials you can listen to here: 
PAMS advertising  

The other early adopters of the Sonovox were children's record producers. I've uploaded one such goodie from 1947, plus a bonus track: an mp3 of the audio from the above Kay Kyser video, from the 1940 film "You'll Find Out". 

"Sparky's Magic Piano"

Much thanks (and happy birthdaty!) to David Dole.

Oh, and he would also like to pass on one of his other innovations:

Use DOLE DATNG - Briefest and best! "JA" is January. All other months use 1st and 3rd letters: FB MR, AR, MY, JN, JL, AG, SP, OT, NV & DC. Letters ALWAYS in the middle - with date and year interchangeable but 2 numbers for "day" and 4 for "year". Copyrighted 1996 but free for all! 

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

100 Copies of The Beatles' White Album Playing At The Same Time

Artist Rutherford Chang says: "I collect first-pressings of The White Album and currently own 1,034 copies." As part of his 'White Album' project (which also includes a record store only stocked with copies of you-know-what arranged according to serial number) he somehow got 100 of them to play at once. I wonder how? Sounds quite good tho, like 100 needles were dropped onto 100 turntables at pretty much the same time. Then they slowly go out of phase, like an old Steve Reich tape-loop piece. Surprisingly wonderful, e.g.: "Julia" (end of side 2) whips up a really nice drone. And I hadn't actually sat down to listen to the White Album since I was a kid, so it's also an interesting way to revisit the album.

Four 20+ minute tracks, one for each side of the White Album, plus lots of pics of White Albums in various states of decay:

Rutherford Chang - We Buy White Albums

Reminds me of another Beatles-related oddity, a very skillfully executed mashup album based on the absurd (or is it?!) premise that someone visiting another dimension where the Beatles never broke up brought back a cassette of one of their later albums. It's actually made up of tracks from various Beatles solo releases. The whole crazy story, and the album download, is available here:

The Beatles Never Broke Up

Thanks to Amadeus, And Count Otto!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Ultimate Ultimate Xanadu

Not just the ultimate Xanadu collection. No way, we leave that to other, poorer blogs. We've got the Ultimate Ultimate Xanadu collection. Two disks worth of covers of songs and documentary snippets relating to a film I've never seen. But since the wiki entry on it says that it was the inspiration for "the Golden Raspberry Awards to memorialize the worst films of the year", then maybe I should see it. Apparently there's a sizeable cult for this 1980 "romantic musical fantasy film" - these 2 disks are boiled down from a 20-disk fan collection.
Tho it's heavy on the electro-disco and ELO outtakes/rarities, there is still a variety of sounds here. Particular faves: Klaus Wunderlich's disco organ instrumental (in my world, '70s discos don't have DJs spinning the BeeGees, they have old guys playing the organ); what sounds like an inept school or amateur theater cast (disk 2, track 4); a Japanese pop-punk girl band called Tiger Shovel Nose; Hemes House Band (and I usually hate house music); and a "bossa-nova toy pop" version of the title song. Tho I suspect I'd like a bossa-nova toy pop version of anything. Brazilian band La Sound even covered the entire soundtrack (?!), tho we get just one song from it here (disk 1 track 16), a nifty lounge finger-snapper. 

This plethora of Xanadu-nocity comes to us courtesy of Don-O, the man behind the Hour of Crap podcast, the Twilight World 'zine, and many other useful pursuits. This was originally a project of his Xanadu fan site, in which he whittled down the collection of Robert Porter, who ran a Jeff Lynne fan site. Lynn is of course the man behind the Electric Light Orchestra, who provided much of the music for "Xanadu."

Didn't think I would like this much, but the unrelenting, irresistible perkiness of the damn thing wore down my resistance, and I was happily bopping around to all this nonsense. Drive yourself and everyone around you crazy with lots and lots of versions of an Olivia Newton-John disco showtune! "A place where nobody dared to go":

Ultimate Ultimate Xanadu disk 1

Ultimate Ultimate Xanadu disk 2

Thanks to Don and the Xanadu Preservation Society.

Friday, September 19, 2014

FILTHY FRIDAYS: Buddy Lucas "Shake Rock Rattle And Roll"

Judging by this incredible album, punk rock was invented in New York 20 years before the Ramones debut, by a black saxophonist playing instrumentals. You doubt me? Ladies and gentlemen, behold! the one album I've been dying to post here on our series of wild, post-war weekend-starters.

Buddy Lucas "Shake Rock Rattle And Roll" (18 songs)

If "lowbrow" music of the pre-rock crit era ever gets the respect it deserves, this album would be a Holy Grail collectible. I mean, just look at that artwork! 

Your momma was wrong: sometimes you can judge a book by it's cover, and the pulp-paperback, late-night, lurid cover of this 195? album perfectly suits the music, which ranges from mid-tempo striptease grind, to all-out proto-hardcore rockers like "Stand Up" and especially "Stampede" that must have seemed fairly incomprehensible to a Fifties audience. Perhaps that's why Buddy "Big Luke" Lucas had to pay the bills with session work.  That's him blowin' on Dion's "The Wanderer" and Frankie Lymons' "Why Do Fools Fall In Love," amongst many others. 

Oh, and how do you know that a '50s recording artist is black? They're not pictured on the album cover! The pic of Mr. Lukas below was collected elsewhere off the inter-webs. The actual back cover of this album contains no info, just a black-and-white rendering of that Bukowski-drumming-with-Jayne Mansfield front cover drawing.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Sounds Of The San Francisco Adult Bookstores

Thirteen minutes of supreme silliness apparently recorded on location by Gregg Turkington, the nut behind the hilarious anti-comic Neil Hamburger, and the fiendishly clever Warm Voices Rearranged anagram record reviews site. The narrator, presumably Turkington, speaks in a mock David Attenborough voice. Copies of this record came with a free tissue. 

Clicking on the title will wisk you off to DivShare-land, where a wondrous world awaits!

The Golding Institute "Sounds Of The San Francisco Adult Bookstores" (1997)

Tuesday, September 09, 2014


When will it end?!  Still more bizarre international ethnic versions of Western pop hits. And by 'ethnic' I also mean American and European styles like bluegrass (# 6) and polka. Also: several Trinidad steel drum tracks (# 1, 9, and 18); the Moog hit "Popcorn" played as a South American chicha; Guns'n'Roses go cumbia; The Buggles go Bollywood; a jazz classic performed on sitars and tablas. And wasn't Bob Marley a lot more fun in the '60s, when he was covering the Archies?


1. Amral's Trinidad Cavaliers - The World is A Ghetto
2. Arsenio Rodriguez & the Afro Cuban Sound - Hang on Sloopy
3. Bappi Lahiri - Auva Auva ("Video Killed The Radio Star"/India)
4. Bob Marley - Sugar Sugar
5. Brave Combo - Double Vision cha cha
6. Bruce Hornsby-Ricky Skaggs - Superfreak
7. Cachicamo con Caspa y Leiko el perro de la IIIII dimension -Sweet Child o' Mine (Venezuela)
8. Chang Loo - Jambalaya (Hank Williams/China)
9. Esso Steelband - I Want You Back 
10. Jimmy Sturr - Splish Splash polka
11. Kiyohiko Senba and his Haniwa All Stars - Kono Mune no Tokimeki o  ("You Don't Have To Say You Love Me")
12. Lelu Thaert - Dance Soul (Booker T & The MGs "Hip Hug Her"/Cambodia)
13. Lennie Hibbert - Nature Boy ("It Was A Very Good Year"/Jamaica)
14. Los Tropicanos - My Sweet Lord (Brasil)
15. Petty Booka - Girls Just Want to Have Fun (Japan/Ja-waiin)
16. Chicha Libre - Popcorn Andino (Gershon Kingsley's "Popcorn"/Peru-USA)
17. Sachal Studios Orchestra - Take Five (Dave Brubeck/Pakistan)
18. Sapodilla Punch - Hold on I'm Coming
19. The Polka Floyd Show - Another Brick in the Wall

In case you missed 'em:
Vol. 1

Vol. 2
Vol. 3
Vol. 4

Friday, September 05, 2014

FILTHY FRIDAY: An Album By The Munsters That Isn't By The Munsters, But By The Go-Gos, But Not Those Go-Gos

Someone on the internet sez:

"THE MUNSTERS-  "The Munsters" TV show characters are only pictured on the cover, along with their cool George Barris designed 'Munster Koach' custom car, but do not appear on this scarce novelty cash-in, performed uncredited mostly by RCA records surf trio, The Go-Go's: Jim Infield; Roger Yorke, and Bill Wild, pre-Ruben and The Jets. Produced by Joe Hooven & Hal Winn, the guys behind Johnny Crawford's hits, & who later founded the Double-Shot label. Decca Mono."

Much of this week's assortment of mid-century lowbrow entertainment isn't sleazy at all. Actually this monster- themed amalgamation of surf, hot rod, novelty, bubblegum, and garage rock is pretty kiddie-friendly and wholesome. The utterly ridiculous "Frankenstein Had A Hot Rod Car" lives up to that boss song title, with lyrics that mention Beatle wigs, and surfing (Frankie "hangs 12"), all set to the tune of "Ol' McDonald had A Farm." 

But then we have the burlesque bump-n-grind of "Vampire Vamp," which doesn't seem appropriate for children, even with goofy Chipmunks voices added. "Eerie Beach" is an exotica instrumental, complete with birds calls, that isn't eerie or horrific at all. Both were probably leftover tracks the producers had lying around and threw in for filler. Hooray for filler! Theremin-ish electronics and sound effects pop up from time to time. And the last three tracks get down to raunchy garage rockin' (with xylophone) business. Hey, turns out this Friday might be a bit filthy after all.

"The Munsters - The Munsters"

A1Munster Creep2:35
A2Frankenstein Had A Hot-Rod Car2:26
A3$1.98 King Size Voodoo Kit2:03
A4Vampire Vamp1:50
A5Herman's Place2:15
A6(Here Comes The) Munster Coach1:55
B1T.V. Monster Show2:07
B2Eerie Beach2:13
B3Make It Go Away2:10
B4You Created A Monster2:07
B5Ride The Midnight Special1:46
B6Down In The Basement