Tuesday, December 14, 2004

FAT NAKED ELVIS

Extreme Elvis is a fat, sometimes naked Elvis impersonator. Elvis impersonators are very near-and-dear to my heart, as Mrs. Fab and I were married at an Elvis chapel in Las Vegas. But by a slim, clothed one. His music, as demonstrated by this version of "Blue Christmas," seems quite normal. But imagine him singing looking and acting like he does on his profoundly disturbing website, extremeelvis.com.

He recently invaded the hallowed halls of high-culture by performing at UCLA's Royce Hall as part of notorious filmmaker John Waters' Christmas special. Waters has recently compiled a various-artists collection of demented thrift-store records called, naturally, "A John Waters Christmas," featuring stars like The Chimpunks and Tiny Tim - but not Tiny Tim's holiday classic "Santa Claus Has Got The AIDS This Year." Too tasteless even for Waters perhaps? It does features my nomination for worst Christmas record ever - Little Cindy's "Happy Birthday Jesus": a little kid with a thick Southern accent thick delivering spoken-word drivel about Jesus, and poo-poohing "those awful naughty men" who crucified him. Can you top this? Another little kid sings a song called "Santa Claus Is A Black Man." I'm amazed at the inclusion of "Here Comes Fatty Claus" because I actually have a 45rpm vinyl copy from who knows when, and I didn't think anyone else knew about this record. It's a great country toe-tapper featuring the catchy chorus "Here comes Fatty with his sack of s---." It doesn't include the b-side though - the entire song played backwards.

Check the audio samples on Amazon.