Wednesday, October 05, 2005

TOR HERSHMAN: ATHEISM, SAMUEL BECKETT, AND FART JOKES

A loyal Maniac, The Bobo, writes, "...I want to tell you about a very strange fellow by the name of Tor Hershman. I discovered this guy about three years ago on a Yahoo Group devoted to horror films. Every so often he would post a link to a song he wrote and sang. Bizarre stuff that ranged from sophomoric parodies to songs devoted to atheism (which he strongly advocates)."

Remember how much fun it was as a child to play with tape-recorders? Making funny/rude noises and jokes, creating fake radio shows, uninhibited singing and clowning around. Upon nearing adulthood, most of us either give that up entirely, or become "serious" musicians, disk jockeys, etc. Not Tor, whose hissy, crude (in every sense of the word) recordings blend his adult philosophical concerns and avant-garde art aspirations with the sub-Howard Stern sense of humor and pause-button editing technique of a fifth-grader's basement variety show.

Typical of "outsiders", Tor seems utterly oblivious to the accepted rules of proper musician behaviour, performing with the passion and enthusiasm of guy who sounds like he has no other show-biz career aspirations then simply to have a helluva great time. The third track on his website, "Radio TOR," is a medley of song parodies, such as John Lennon's "The Ballad of John and Yoko" perfomed in a Donald Duck voice (?!), interspersed with Tor's spoken asides, introductions, and goofy jokes. Elsewhere he waxes more experimental/philosphical, saying about one track, "If you enjoy the works of Samuel Beckett you may be delighted by my lil' opus." Although, really, it's no more strange or funny then his other stuff.

Big thanks to The Bobo!

8 comments:

TOR Hershman said...

".....he has no other show-biz career aspirations....."

Man-O-day, you got that right, Mr. Fab.

I enjoyed your review much.

Made moi LOL a few times.

Stay on Groovin' Safari,
TOR

TOR Hershman said...

However, if you the ca$h, I'll be there and paint my butt red or whatever, for the most part, ENTERTAINMENT you want. Why, I'd even sing my Dylan parody, as follows. Though, if you know anything about poetry, you'll find it to be lyrically advanced somewhat beyond the 5th grade level.


With PBS airin’ all these here “Protest song” shows I reckon them there rich boys/girls is gettin’ a lill’ worried ‘bout a draft.

However, they done did hast inspired moi to do a wee satire.

{To the tune of Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are A-Changin’}

Bare flashbulb lit bald-faces tellin’ their lies
they say the moronic are true harmonic guys
Manhattan chase for Chase-Manhattan satin sties
fast, easy, quick, new, advertizin’
Preparation Dubya gets your butt covered with flies
for the sphincter needs a-cleanin’

Pretend you’re a sweet Christian, pretend you’re a hurt Jew,
pretend you’re a Buddhist or Satanist, too
at end you ain’t nothin’ but DNA goo
Mule, elephant, commie bear, they’re just playin’
the keyword for them all is “Party,” that’s true
for the times they ain’t a-changin’

Butt-Hole Rooter could be the number they call
walls already crumbled, in piles they did fall
profiteering from pain fills the music-hall
now hit-your-mark, ‘cause it’s only stagin’
beloved dinosaur ghosts are smashin’ their stalls
for the sphincter needs a-cleanin’

Cum fathers in mothers throughout this land
you can’t analyze what you won’t understand
produce many more recruits who’ll obey commands
quadrillions spent to defy agin’
the rest spent on happy meals and grenades for your hand
for the times they ain’t a-changin’

Oh listen, it’s the brand-new platitude
“You don’t get food if you’re crude or rude;
it’s not steel, rock, blood, only attitude.”
Your total win ain’t left you grinnin’.
To now, past, future, do vaguely allude
for the sphincter needs a-cleanin’

TOR Hershman said...

Or you can listen to moi’s “Sophomoric,” The Awful Facts”


[audio transcript]
*clap of thunder followed by a background ghostly robotic music*

“Myriad moons ago, in the land of Pharaoh, there came to power a Being of wondrous propensities.
He was called Amenhotep IV. Amemhotep IV envisioned, and then implemented, a monumental and unsurpassed addition to culture. Amenhotep IV was the first to have a society introduced to the theology of a one-god religion. Yes, Amenhotep IV institutionalized monotheism, a religion of one god.

This was a true monotheism, not the polytheism that Judaism, Christianity and Islam, each usually having at least two gods ~ the one all-benevolent, the other all-evil ~ have been for hundreds and hundreds of years.
Yes, Amenhotep proclaimed the Aten, the Sun God, as the only god in all the universe; he even changed his name to reflect this new devotional imagery.

No prosaic Pharaoh was he, the works of Egyptian art were advanced to a vastly, almost impressionist, beautiful form.
Of course when a vast change comes many resist it. After all, the feebleminded peasants were content to have had their religion spoonfeed to them by, less than astute, ancestors.
The established priests didn’t want one-god concepts cutting into their lucrative, wholly unholy, business.

Nevertheless, the Pharaohs were considered gods in their own right.
Ergo, any opposition to the new religion was wee and reserved. But the only people to sincerely embrace Amenhotep’s religion were the upperclass, very well educated members of his governmental theocratic oligarchy. This was no small number, the ancient Egyptian government was a vast institution.

Not terribly long after Amenhotep’s demise the priests and peasants of the polytheist deities were once again able to gain political power.
They began a systematic, and extremely well financed, program of wiping any trace of the reign of Amenhotep IV from the face of the Earth. His name, original as well as his new, were obliterated from temple, obelisk, monument and papyrus.
The polytheist re-writers of history were very efficient, but not 100% so. Monotheism’’s followers were also persecuted.
To even utter the former Pharaoh’s name was a crime punishable by a sound thrashing or even death!
Thus, these believes in a single god, who used to end all prayers by speaking the new name Amenhotep had chosen, reverted back to ending their supernally aimed beseeching with the words - “Freed From Doubt by Amenhotep.”
But this was also seen as a blasphemous act by the ancient polytheistic spin-doctors. So, they needed to conclude their prayers, to their singular god, with another sound of solemn ratification.
And that way soon became the word - - - AMEN !

Moreover, those who descended from Amenhotep’s followers, though many changes have been made to their religion over the long years, became know as.....the Jews.

*music now becomes the gospel classic “Amen” with a satirical lyrical redo*

Amen
Hotep
Amen hotep amen
Groovin’ with his sweety
her name was Nefertiti
amen hotep amen
real style down by the Nile
a pile of pâté crocodile
amen hotep hotep”

{ fin }

[To hear this work, and a wee bit more (Jesus Christ the Facts), check the URL.]

http://www.ic-musicmedia.com/artist_pages/songpage.php?mp3id=83390


I get the fellin’ that The Bobo has a religious agenda.

Mr Fab said...

Ha haaa! Thanks for checking in Mr Hershman. Keep on shining you crazy diamond.

TOR Hershman said...

Thank you, Mr. Fab, but please, call moi TOR.

I see, Mr. Fab, you prefer
pigeon holing over intellectual discourse.

However, I must agree with you; being deliberately sane, on a planet of twisted DNA, is the crazïest thing a person could do.

Stay on Groovin’ (just a wee bit crazïer than Galileo) Safari,
TOR

TOR Hershman said...

TOR Hershman does his review of “The Bobo’s” review.

Well, I got an E from a fan stating that THIS blog thread appears first when you google moi’s name.

I did, it does.

Considering this is the numeral uno search result I am inclined to take a closer look at The Bobo’s dubious critiquing of a wee portion of moi’s work.

Item 1:
The Bobo states: That moi is “...a very strange fellow.”

Quantum Mechanics is strange, quite strange indeed.
However, if The Bobo were to study, most diligently, The Bobo would find that TOR and Quantum Mechanics are amazingly correct about a host of quantitatively proven facts.


Item 2: The Bobo writes that I create works that are “...devoted to atheism (which he strongly advocates).”

This is 100% incorrect. I’ve never written a song that “Advocates” Atheism.
I’ve written works which deride the lunacy of religion, i.e., “Jesus (and Satan) Is A Fraud,” “Krispy Krishna” and the tale of a priest and a choirboy To the tune of “The Little Drummer Boy,” but I’ve NEVER written an iconoclastic song which “Strongly advocates” anything other than [or as The Bobo would say “Other th(E)n] quantitative facts.

Item 3: (A Bobo review only gets three items) The Bobo wrote, “Elsewhere he waxes more experimental/philosphical, saying about one track, "If you enjoy the works of Samuel Beckett you may be delighted by my lil' opus." Although, really, it's no more strange or funny then his other
stuff.”

Anyone, Bobos included, that think moi’s XX CS and “The Lion Farts Tonight” are no more or less than congruent, well, that person really doesn’t think. They may feel, but higher mental functions were off, at least during the review of moi’s work.

Stay on Groovin' Safari,
TOR

TOR Hershman said...

Just in case ANYONE on Earth was soooooooooo bored that they read the above, here is moi's (TOR Hershman) new song page.

http://torhershman.blogspot.com/

Stay on Groovin' Safari,
TOR

TOR Hershman said...

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!

Duh, that's mé blog, here's moi's song page

{copy & paste URL]

http://www.soundlift.com/TOR

Stay on Groovin' (goofin' an URL once in awhile) Safari,
TOR