TUNES 4 TOTZ Week, Day 5: Mountain Park

Mountain Park was an amusement park in Holyoke, Massachusetts that went out of business in 1987. In it's heyday, which began in the early '50s, it had a number of fun houses and "dark rides" where park-goers rode in open roller-coaster-like cars on tracks through dark rooms past weird pictures and figures and smashed through doors as pre-recorded soundtracks played. A former employee of Mountain Park saved the looping 8-track soundtrack tapes.

The low fidelity sound of the tapes, coupled with the pictures on the site of the park in various states of decay, create a wonderfully weird, melancholy atmosphere.

The Mystery Ride: This ride featured everything from bizarre monsters and dinosaurs to visions of Hell(!) but the sound was "always a mix of incessant drums and various jungle animals."

Out of This World: A sci-fi trip accompanied by '50s-sounding electronic bloops and bleeps.

Pirates Den: This poor-man's Pirates of the Caribbean "had the most elaborate soundtrack, but it never quite worked right."

Zoltan was a fortune-telling machine that played recordings of "fortunes" in a Bela Lugosi-like accent.

"Trip The Light Fantastic" Go dancing. But don't overdo it!




Much thanks to solcofn!

TUNES 4 TOTZ Week, Day 4: TWINK

We first wrote about Twink The Toy Piano Band back in Nov. '05 when Mr. Twink was taking toy pianos to new places by mixing in sampled old kiddie records. He really blasts off into the futuristic future with his new album "Ice Cream Truckin'," which features a different producer on each track, each giving the plinky-plonky sounds of toys an electronic makeover (except for the last song's unexpected blast of guitar rawk).

As the title suggests, ice-cream truck music is the album's inspiration - all titles refer to frozen treats, and the album's lead-off track is a version of the theme that plays from the Mr. Softee truck's loudspeakers, letting the kids of the neighborhood know that the ice cream man is here.

I'm not familiar with any of the mixers involved except for Ergo Phizmiz and Mochipet, but if you've heard those two loonies then you know we're not exactly dealing with some slick Paul Oakenfold-type affair. There's a wide, wild diversity of styles here, including the psychedelic psounds of "Sugar Cone," which feature not only trippy echoing toy piano, but a little munchkin alien voice crying out "Ice cream! Ice cream!"

Twink: "Sugar Cone" (produced by Don Limpio)

On the pop side, here's a top bit of techno-pop that Chuck E. Cheese should spin if they ever hold raves:

Twink: "Fizzy Peach" (produced by Rainbow Maze)

TUNES 4 TOTZ Week, Day 3: Adolescence

Here's some school marching band versions of popular favorites performed by the youth of Litchfield (MN) High School:

"She Shook Me (All Night Long)"
"Mr Roboto"
"Crazy Train"

AC/DC, Styx, and Ozzy have never sounded so, well, polite.

TUNES 4 TOTZ Week, Day 2: Ages 5-10

"Da Hip Hop Raskalz" is an album of slammin' jointz written and performed by Harlem schoolkids ages 5-10 years old. Dave Soldier, the guy who got actual elephants to play music, provided the instruments, showed them how to program the drum machines and synths, and let them do the rest. It's like grown-up hip-hop but better - instead of bitches and bling, they rhyme about dinosaurs and candy, two subjects I certainly find more interesting. They designed the cover art, too, on computers.

I especially like the trio of eight-year-old girls calling themselves Sweetness. They got the dance sensation that's sweeping the nation, a genuinely catchy bit of bubblegum. Just don't tell your dentist:

Sweetness: "Do The Lollipop"

I used to love rap, but have found it increasingly depressing since the early '90s. Ah, but Da Hip Hop Raskalz are wonderful. I hope they never grow up.

TUNES 4 TOTZ Week, Day 1: Infancy

Here's a phrase that made me snort a laugh and exclaim "Wha...?"

"Lullabye Renditions of Metallica"

And that's not all. Recently the market's been flooded with a series called "Rockabye Baby." Each album is dedicated to the music of a single artist (The Cure, Led Zeppelin, Nirvana, Green Day, among others), all played as low-key instrumentals. Chime-like glockenspiel and vibraphone, and toy piano are predominately featured, with very little percussion.

But I don't know how effective they would be as lullabies - the music of folks like Metallica and Nine Inch Nails sometimes feature jarring chord progressions and dissonant intervals that, when played "lullabye" style, sound more suitable for an "Omen"-like evil-kid horror movie soundtrack then anything you would actually want to use for lulling your beloved tots to sleep. These are quite nice, though:

"One" from Lullaby Renditions of Metallica
"Hurt" from Lullaby Renditions of Nine Inch Nails

I have no idea who's doing these, or who the intended audience is. The chill-out/ambient crowd? Novelty-loving weird music fans? Actual kids?

WE'VE HAD SOME "WORK DONE"...

...as the Beverly Hills housewives say. Do we look as young as Joan Rivers?

This October will be the 3rd birthday of this here web-log, and I was getting a little tired of the old look. The facelift is a little easier on the eyes, no? And then there's the cryptic "24" up on top with pictures of unknown objects (maps? diagrams?) to confound and amaze you as you listen to the music...

WHAT'S POLISH FOR "CREEPY'?

Here's a video clip from a 1965 black-and-white Polish film called "Salto" featuring a band playing a truly nerving-wracking instrumental piece. It starts off with a bass line as creepy as the theme from "Jaws" and, as the other instruments come in, it all becomes increasingly disturbing.

The dancers look groovy in their boss '60s suits and beehive hair-dos, but they move around like zombies performing some black magick ritual. Truly the reason why the letters "wtf" were invented.

Wojciech Kilar: Salto theme (video)

Wojciech Kilar: Salto theme (mp3) - You axed for it!

THE COACH-POTATO EXOTICA OF M'LUMBO

You gotta wonder how many bowls New York group M'Lumbo were smoking when they came up with this idea: "Dude, I got it! [do they say 'dude' in New York?] Let's play exotic/African versions of classic TV show themes!" Amidst much giggling and Keanu-esque "Whoah"s (or so I imagine) they did just that.

Their album "Sacrifices To The Neon Gods" is a kind of fake cargo-cult hymn collection, as if a primitive African/islander/someplace-dark-and-mysterious people picked up TV signals and began worshipping The Flinstones, The Addams Family, and Mickey Mouse. Hey it could happen! There actually is a South Seas island that still worships Prince Charles. I'd take James Bond any day.

There are horns-aplenty in this 6-man combo, and much improvising, but don't expect your local jazz station to spin it unless their djs do things like play a Tom Waits record at 78rpm on one turntable and a platter of Pygmy field recordings on the other at the same time. And if you think I'm exaggerating that level of hectic-ness, take a listen:

M'Lumbo: "Medley: The Addams Family Theme/Jingle Bells/I Dream Of Jeannie/Perdidia/Night On Bald Mountain"

"Hawaii Five-O," "Get Smart" and "I Love Lucy" are among the other themes that get creatively demolished. Headache-inducing if you're not in the mood, but otherwise, as much fun as a ride on a souped-up merry-go-round while goofin' on cough syrup.

Folkloric Bootlegs & Mashups A-Go-Go

FOOLKLEGS: From France comes this various-artists collection of international folk songs mixed and mashed with modern pop stylings guaranteed to piss off hippie folk music purists (yow, if they were upset when Dylan went electric, wait 'til they hear this.) It's not so unusual, though - it's basically the Moby "Play" concept, only stretched to include everything from Tuvan throat singing to the once-trendy (but still glorious) Le Mystère des Voix Bulgares gals, now merged skillfully with the likes of Beck, Timbaland, Cream and Peggy Lee.

Fred Doest "Hacid freak for my peops" Missy Elliot raps over a frantic Hasidic dance from Romania that reminds me of the "Benny Hill" theme; just so mental, it makes me laugh.

Funky Belek "J'entends le loup, le renard et Beyonce - The album's organizer contributes this gem: a traditional Brittany French tune vs. Beyonce's "Crazy" instrumental.

RIAA: "Revelation Fever" - Representing the U.S. of A: bluesman Son House sings an old spiritual over Peggy Lee.

And, in case you didn't see it on BoingBoing, also check out:

"Forgotten Hits," compiled by Simon Iddol, is another various-artists mashup collection exploring forgotten regions of the music world, this time old surf/soul/sleaze/jazz '50s/'60s instrumentals - out of print thrift-store vinyl obscurities mixed with the pop crap you thought you didn't like. But, see, even those maroons in Maroon Five sound as cool as Tom Jones with a groovy '60s go-go beat behind 'em:

DJ Earlybird - This Love Gets Lost

MoogSwings

There's a new album sharity blog specializing in old Moog synth records called:

MoogSwings

It's only been up for 5 days, yet it already has 5 albums posted. Good ones too, like Dick Hyman and Ruth White. Meanwhile, another blog has posted a real obscurity by Synthesizers Unlimited, a British project from 1974. Awesome space-age bachelor-pad sleaze, available

here.

And while we're at it, a couple of days ago Brett at EggCityRadio posted six count-'em SIX Mort Garson classics here and here, including "Electronic Hair Pieces," one of the first Moog records I ever bought: 48 cents at the now-departed Record Trader in Reseda in the late '80s. Aw, the 48 cent bin - that's where all the good stuff was...

Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra - 5 Disk Album

I first wrote about the Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra back in '05: "I don't detect anything particularly satanic about this good-natured band, nor are there any puppets in evidence. For that matter, it's not much of an orchestra - one man largely handles the music, a "mad scientist" whose robot creation sings lead. Therefore, it's the perfect name for this bizarre, funny bit of musical dada."

It all gets far more funny, bizarre, and dada-esque with the release of their debut four-disk (plus secret bonus disk) self-titled album. Apart from the music, the sheer amount of stuff that comes with it is insane, e.g.: a giant booklet with "An essay by Popular Science's music editor, Gene LaMont, our Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame Acceptance Speech, actual lyrics to all of our songs, and details about our Songwriting Contest for Artists and Musicians," as well as track-by-track audio commentary on enhanced CDs, like those DVD tracks where actors and filmmakers comment on the movie as it progresses:

The Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra "I Stole Your Daddy's Time Machine (Commentary)"
The Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra "I Stole Your Daddy's Time Machine"

The music is simple electronic pop, and almost every song made me laugh. There's no point in trying to explain the deadpan, absurdist humor. You either laugh hearing a robot speaking in tongues or you don't:

The Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra "Speaking in Tongues"

A list of influences that includes Andy Kaufman, Wesley Willis, They Might Be Giants, master Surrealist Rene Magritte, and Monty Python should tell you where these San Diegans are coming from.

A few commercials appear from apparently actual businesses sponsoring the album. The conceptual joke of the bonus fifth disk will not be revealed here, but I will say that the live disk consists of what appear to be the same studio recordings featured on the previous disks, only with crowd sounds dubbed over it! And what a crowd:

The Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra "Ornithophobia" "Penguins might be poisonous birds"

Overall, one of the most over-the-top feats of silliness I've encountered lately. What are they gonna do for the second album?

ANTON MAIDEN

Checking out the thoroughly excellent, if rather unlikely, Iron Maiden mashup album, "Number of the Boots," I was reminded of Anton Maiden. Some of you might remember this Swedish teenager when he gained a bit of internet "fame" in the late '90s/early '00s singing earnest, if inept, versions of Maiden's headbanging '80s metal over the most low-tech electronic backing tracks possible.

Anton Maiden: "Children of the Damned"

This stuff's a real crack-up, but Anton really did crack up - like so many outsider musicians, Anton had mental problems, and he killed himself in 2003.

Iron Maiden's music really is the kind of over-looked kitsch most in need of creative recycling, and "Number of the Boots" organizer Celebrity Murder Party have crafted a really impressive track: it first turns the goofball satanism of Maiden's "Number of the Beast" into cheezy house music (sure to infuriate metal-heads). That would be amusing enough, but it then develops into a mixture of the thematically-connected "Sympathy For The Devil" by the Stones with George Michael and, gulp, George Bush. I'm telling ya, it works a treat:

Celebrity Murder Party - Sympathy for the Soul of the Beast



Thanks again to Radio Clash!

HEAVEN IS A WONDERFUL PLACE

Just heard that Tammy Faye Bakker has died. Well, she's been "Messner" not "Bakker" for a while, but she'll always be Bakker to me.

Most people think of her as the free-spending wife of a crooked philandering televangelist, but in our little corner of the musical world, she is fondly remembered for her contributions to the rich field of Christian children's puppet records, where grown adults sing the praises of the Lord in weird voices. These '70s/'80s records have been amply chronicled here, here ("Praise The Lord" is a particular favorite of mine), here, and this tune from Cool and Strange Music Magazine's Thrift Store Compilation:

Tammy Faye Bakker: "Oops! There Comes a Smile"

No new music here - some of you are probably well aware of these tunes - but spin 'em one more time for Tammy Faye. And ask yourself the question, is "There Comes a Smile" good grammar?

EYE-DISEASE ARIA

I felt kind of bad laughing at this song, since it is courtesy of the Association of International Glaucoma Societies, who, I'm sure, are doing good things to help people with eye diseases. It's called the "Glaucoma Hymn" and is sung with great drama by soprano Melanie Grev, and sports the inspirational lyrics "Glaucoma, Glaucoma, Glaucoma/Constricting vision slowly/Halted by progress/Progress of science/Vision of a world united/Beyond all science knowing." The one-guy-with-a-Casio production doesn't help matters much, either.

Erik Grev: Glaucoma Hymn

"Beyond all science knowing"?

You Gotta HAND It To This Guy...

Another "manualist" squeezing his hands together to make fart-sound music:

Gunecologist

I may have to record audio off some of these videos - he does AC/DC, "Fart of the Bumblebee," James Brown, Iron Maiden, even yet another version of "Popcorn"!

POOR HAMSTER

What's a sure-fire way to get a novelty hit? Write a song about dead animals. Think of all the chart-toppers on Dr. Demento's long-running syndicated novelty music radio show: "Fish Heads," "Dead Puppies," "I'm Looking Over (My Dead Dog Rover)," "Dead Skunk In The Middle Of the Road," etc.

Louis Gentile's "Poor Hamster" will probably be a smash on Dr. D's show, if it isn't already. It's got everything you need in music: it's very funny, gross, throws in sound effects and witty musical quotes, and is done in an oom-pah style with kids singing with a German accent (which is fitting since they are German).

Louis Gentile: "Poor Hamster"

I first heard this song on Gentile's Garageband.com page, where I learned that he is an opera singer. Does he mind that this might be the music that he's most remembered for?

Gentile's site has a page with a German language version on the bottom of the page: Für unsere Deutsche Fans, könnt ihr die original version von "O Hamster" hier anhören!

365 PROJECT: ART CASARA

Otis Fodder asked me to contribute to the year-long festival of out-of-print audio weirdness known as the 365 Project, which caused me to pause: for every day I contribute, that's one day of something I already have. See what I mean? Selfish of me, I know, so here's today's post I contributed:

Art Casara - Hell's lounge singer

And I will endeavor to contribute more, so keep watching the skies!

REQUEST-O-RAMA: DAVID KORESH

Another request to re-up an old post, this one for failed singer/songwriter turned successful doomed cult leader David Koresh. Unlike God, I can answer your prayers:

David Koresh

TOY MUSIC

Strap The Button are a free-wheeling avant/psych/improv group from Wales, but even those not inclined towards such hippie-isms gotta love their piece "Toy Music," which, yes, uses toy instruments (this crew have been known to use curcuit-bent toys as well) in a lovely hypnotic bit of minimilism that suggests Philip Glass for the pre-school set.

Strap The Button: "Toy Music pt1"

Courtesy of the 'net-lable My Formica Table, which has loads of free mps3 of largely instrumental experimental pleasing oddness.

THE HISTORY OF POPCORN

No-one really knows how the song known to millions as "Popcorn" originated. Yes, ancient people, but which ones? Even native American Indians who have performed the song for ages admit that the Great Elders brought them the song. Who were these Great Elders? Indian ancestors? An ancient, forgotten race? Some have even interpreted this to mean that space aliens gave mankind the tune, claiming that no human artistry could produce a song so catchy. In any case, when Western settlers first arrived in America, they heard a version that sounded something like this:

Cab City Combo - Indiancorn

Explorers quickly took the song back to Europe, where it became a drawing-room favorite. The song was known by many names at first, but the phrase "Popcorn," a phonetic version of the Indian words, become the most commonly used.

Trios corpo di Bacco: "Popcorn" (European folk version)

Meanwhile, rural American musicians, upon hearing the Indian versions, started performing the song on folk instruments. It became a hillbilly standard.

Tom Adams "Popcorn" (banjo version)
GlasBlasSing Quintett: "Popcorn" (jug-band version, excerpt)

In Europe, it was spreading from the drawing rooms to the most elegant ballrooms and concert halls. The king of Luxembourg demanded it played at all royal festivals.

Boston Pops: "Popcorn" (orchestral version)

As the 20th Century dawned, New Orleans-based musicians playing a new style called "jazz" adopted it for trumpet. Supposedly, Louis Armstrong would play it, but only after smoking far too many reefers.

Vincent Malone: "Popcorn" (very retarded trumpet version)

Performances of the song were getting increasingly upbeat and danceable. In the Big Band era, it was an a oft-requested dance orchestra number, one of those "songs that got us through World War II."

Tokyo Kosei Wind Orchestra: "Popcorn"

By now, a snack (made from corn kernels) named after the song was becoming popular, and in the '50s and '60s, the youth were going mad for a new hard-driving style called "rock'n'roll." Once again, "Popcorn" was said to be the driving influence behind the movement. Even as greasy-haired rockers proclaimed "Popcorn is the MOST, daddy-o," politicians were investigating the song's powerful hold. Some even declared it to be a Communist plot. But that didn't stop it from being the soundtrack to countless beach parties, toga parties, hullabaloos, and shindigs.

Treble Spankers: "Popcorn" (surf version)

The invention of the synthesizer brought the song a new burst of popularity in the late '60s and early '70s. One electronic music pioneer, Gershon Kingsely, even gave himself writing credit when the song appeared on albums by his First Moog Quartet. Previously, it had been considered folkloric, "traditional."

First Moog Quartet: "Popcorn" (Moog version)

The '80s and '90s brought r'n'b, rap, techno, and reggae dancehall into the clubs. Not surprisingly, "Popcorn" was considered the inspiration: Afrika Bambatta insisted that "Popcorn" was the blueprint for hip-hop. In Chicago, clubs would play the song over and over for as long as six hours each night, waiting for house music to be invented.

RIAA: "Here Comes The Hot Butter" (Ini Kamoze's "Here Comes The Hot Stepper" vs Hot Butter's electro version of "Popcorn")

Even Britney Spears has the song to thank for one of her biggest hits:

Master Cylinder: "Oh Baby, More Popcorn"

"Popcorn" is, of course, still poppin' to this day. This was only a very rough sketch of the song's development. Hopefully, the recently announced Harvard University Department of Popcorn Studies will shed further light on the immortal tune.

(The preceding work of fiction was inspired by the amazingly thorough Popcorn-Song website, which details everything you need to know about the song. WFMU's Popcorn page doesn't have much info, but it does have alot of mp3s.)