THE HAUNTED BALLROOM

Weird music doesn't end with Halloween. Autumn is upon us, and as the weather gets chilly and the leaves fall, haunting mood music is perfectly appropriate all season, not just Oct. 31.

"The Caretaker" makes eerie greatness out of old '20s and '30s dance band records, playing up the inherent spookiness of old 78s by smothering them under tons of effects (echo, delay, etc), and sometimes sloooowing them down to create the soundtrack to a "Haunted Ballroom." Songs from this 1999 release such as "One Thousand Memories," "Haunting Me" and "Thronged with Ghosts" actually sound like their titles. The follow-up album "A Stairway to the Stars" features more dreamy ambient melancholy nostalgia:

The Caretaker - "It's All Forgotten Now"
The Caretaker - "Masquerade Ball"

LINK-O-RAMA: Star Trek Edition

- MaidenWine: amazingly comprehensive and handsomely designed site dedicated to the musical stylings of Leonard Nimoy. Apart from a detailed history of his musical career, it also has a fascinating newspaper & magazine clippings archive (Nimoy performed at Hollywood Bowl on the same bill as Edward G. Robinson and Richard Pryor? OH for a time-machine.)

- Record Robot, meanwhile, has been posting a lot of Nimoy's old tuneage lately, from the albums "The Way I Feel," "The Touch Of Leonard Nimoy," "The New World Of Leonard Nimoy," so you've got plenty to listen to as you read MaidenWine's archived Nimoy interviews from teeny-bopper mags like "Co-Ed."

- William Shatner rarities unearthed! The almighty YouTube is featuring Shatner performances of songs not on his legendary "Transformed Man" album - songs not heard since their original performance in the '70s. A remake of Harry Chapin's "Taxi," in particular, is a major addition to the Shatner canon - five spellbinding minutes describing an encounter between a cabbie picking up a fare, who just happens to be an old flame. He starts off fairly relaxed, by 2:37 pulls out the crazy facial expressions, and the "stoned" finale is simple can't-miss classic. I recorded the audio for your mp3-ing pleasure:

"Taxi" - live on Dinah Shore's daytime variety show.
"Taxi" mp3

"Keep It Gay" video - Actually singing for 23 inexplicable seconds; with Mike Douglas
"Keep It Gay" mp3

"How To Handle A Woman" video - An all-too-brief 1:22 Barry White-style love rap; don't know what show this is from, but dig Shat's puka shell necklace
"How To Handle A Woman" mp3

"It Was A Very Good Year" video - You may know Bill's recording of the Sinatra hit, but this performance on "The Mike Douglas Show" adds a welcome visual dimension, from the psychedelic intro to an amazing array of facial expression close-ups.

"Incubus (excerpt)" - Esparanto was a failed attempt to create an international language, but at least one film was shot in it. Not a music clip, but you gotta see Shatner in this b&w 1965 supernatural creeper. It's as strange as it gets - imagine if Bergman directed for AIP.

CALLING ALL FIENDS!

Katya from Oddio Overplay sez:

"Halloween is meant to be scary, right? Year after year we dust off the old silly 1950s and 1960s novelty records. While they are fun, they not at all frightening. Oddio Overplay put the challenge to musical artists the world over to create Halloween music that is "frightening, damaging and disturbing." No "Monster Mash," instead creepy soundtracks to a fiendish Halloween. They succeeded with CALLING ALL FIENDS! Some of these pieces will creep you right out of your skin."

CALLING ALL FIENDS!

And while we're at it:

"Night of The Alive Dead" - Whodini's "Haunted House of Rock", The Classics IV's "Spooky" and an instrumental remake by Howard Roberts, little bits of the "Night of The Living Dead" soundtrack & Beastie Boys "Alive," all served over a techno beat stompin' enough to raise the dead.

Hypocritical Disclaimer

You know, Spinal Tap weren't really that bad. If they had been a real band, they would have certainly been considered kitschy, but no more so then any number of real head-bangers. And, c'mon, "Big Bottom" is far more clever then most metal tunes: "How can I leave this...behind?" Classic! Some real bands, however, truly make me wonder. Case in point: Hypocritical Disclaimer.

The website of these Fargo, North Dakota (!) metal/noise mysterios may not have any info on the band whatsover, but it does have plenty of righteous manifestos, e.g.: "We are not music, but a way of life. Our sounds in whole are not for entertainment but are here for an alternate source of living." It also claims that they have many types of fans. Do they really have fans? And what are they like?

Seriously, the amount of drugs it must take to create music this messed-up (they make The Butthole Surfers sound like N'Synch) could medicate entire nations.

Hypocritical Disclaimer: "Filth More Mess"
Hypocritical Disclaimer: "Mastuh"



Thanks to Nick Trey!

James Blunt, You're Pitiful

Weird Al Yankovic's latest album, "Straight Outta Lynwood," will NOT be including his parody of "You're Beautiful," the sap-fest by Oprah's fave new singer James Blunt. LAME. C'mon, everyone (well, except Prince) let's Weird Al do his thing with their music, even when it's ridiculing the song, ala his "Achy-Breaky Heart" parody: "Don't you play that song, that Achy-Breaky Song."

"You're Pitiful" is, actually, not making fun of Blunt or the song, so what's the problem? Didn't you just get here, Blunt? Weird Al's been in the biz for decades - he OWNS you. He could probably have you killed if he so desired. Killed in nasty ways.

Actually, it was apparently Blunt's label that put the kibosh on it. As Al sez here: "James Blunt could still let me put it on my album if he really wanted to, but he obviously doesn't want to alienate his own record company... and my label could release the parody without Atlantic's blessing, but they don't really want to go to war with another label over this."

So Al's put it out over the inter-webs. Take that, suits!

"Weird Al" Yankovic: "You're Pitiful"

This is the greatest crime against parodies since Phil Collins refused to allow Mr. Methane to stink up one of his songs.

A WHOLE NEW WORLD

Australian tabloid fodder Peter Andre and his wife Jordan recently recorded a duet version of the song "A Whole New World," apparently for an upcoming Christmas album. Peter is a professional singer in that boy-band psuedo-r'n'b style. His wife is famous for...er, being his wife. Remember in "I Love Lucy" how Lucy always wanted to sing at the club with Ricky, and Rick never thought it was a good idea? Now you know why:

Peter Andre and Jordan: "A Whole New World" - Not bad for the first minute or so, until she starts singing. WOW.

To make it even more cruel, the vocals are way up in the mix, like the infamous Linda McCartney tape. The Andres, embarrassed by the leak of this song, are claiming it's a hoax. Uh huh.

OKTOBERFEST!!

It's that time of year - put on your leiderhosen, call the beer-wench over, grab a stein, and chicken-dance along to a kind of punk-oompah version of Nena's Eighties smash "99 Luftballons." It's by an Australian professional music sevice, Autopilot Productions, who claim it was done for a corporate event. Huh?! Wouldn't mind working for that company...

Autopilot Productions: "Oktoberfest"

Max Raabe is a German performer of a very different sort - he's dedicated to keeping alive the Weimer-era cabaret tradition. However, when he's not reviving the likes of Kurt Weil, he's doing covers of current pop songs in the style of 1920s Berlin. Nothing released in America yet, but German Amazon lists many albums, like "Hitpalast," in which he smoothly croons hits by Abba, Tom Jones, Britney Spears, etc. Now THESE Queen songs should be played at ballgames:

Max Raabe: We Will Rock You
Max Raabe: We Are The Champions

"A DUMB GUY SHOT MY POOP WITH A GUN..."

So singeth Tammie & Scotty, who were ages 14 and 9 when they recorded a four "song" tape in Detroit circa 1992. These acapella ravings fell into the hands of a Chicago-based radio show, "Hump Day Dance Party" who are hosting a remix contest. Songs about the joys of yelling, the fear of water, and the dangers of excreting in parking lots are awaiting your treatment. Of course, it may not be possible to improve on such wonders as

Have You Ever Been to a Parking Lot?
or
Silence is Golden - Or is it? All 4 tracks here.

UPDATE Nov. 5: Here's "Silence Is Golden" mixed with Ministry's "Stigmata"

RIAA: "I Love Noise!!"

ASIAN POP OLDIES pt.2

Another site dedicated to groovy Asian-a-go-go sounds of the '60s, Tofu Magazine's Asia Beat focuses on Hong Kong, Macau and Singapore 1964-1969. Not nearly as many mp3s available as Asian Pop Oldies, but check out the record cover scans!

"The Beatles concert in Hong Kong in 1964 marked the birth of the golden age of the Hong Kong pop scene. From 1964 to 1969, a great number of bands appeared. They sung in English, as Cantonese and Mandarin songs were considered to be old fashion. These bands normally did cover versions of songs from the UK or the US..."

And KidG sez, "Much of Singapore's music scene back in the 60s & 70s died when the govt clamped down hard on musicians due to the drug connection. Basically in their eyes, long hair hippie = drug junkie. Although it's not as serious as China's Cultural Revolution, much of Singapore's creativity when it comes to music died during that time."

Asia Beat

Our Gang!

What do you get when Michael Jackson and Gary Glitter get together and have some children over? Why, a lovely tune by UK's Bingo Starr, of course!

Our Gang! (Original Von Trapp Ending) - many, many MJ and GG songs mixed quite wickedly with selections from "The Sound of Music." If loving this song is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Never heard of Mr. Starr before today, but he's got a lot of ace tunes, actually. "Horny As In A Morning Sunrise" makes great use of a scratchy old cha-cha record.

Thanks to Pilchard!

AVERAGE HOMEBOY pt2

Yes!

Denny Blazin Hazen sez: "Guess what? After climbing into the attic last week, I found the Original Recording of my Average Homeboy Video which includes the Intro and missing 3rd Verse!"

Average Homeboy - will try to make an mp3 of this classic available soon.

BRIDE OF MONSTER MASH-UP

"Bride of Monster Mash-Up" now available! A various-artists free download album of old records remixed/mashed-up that's scarier then a Republican boy-lover's e-mails! (All right, maybe not THAT scary...)

Features music from M4M faves like dj BC, Dj NoNo, Pilchard, Cheekyboy , DJ Earlybird, Essexboy, Solcofn, AberNstein and lots more: podcasts, videos, a bonus collection of leftovers, even a shop for shirts'n'stuff. The organizers really went nuts.

WARNING: I'm represented as well, "singing" a song called Cannibal Zombie Mom over trashy '60s rockers The Standells and The Ventures. But the rest of the album's really good.

If you don't want to bother downloading each individual song, you can listen to a mix of the whole darn thing:

Mix Of The Whole Darn Thing