KOOKY KUT-UPS prt.3: WAYNE BUTANE

"Wayne Butane is a crazy old bastard who lives in the middle of the desert with Mrs. Butane and five cats" quoth the liner notes to Wayne's new CD-R "Imbalanced," but more importantly (for our purposes), he also lives with the thousands of hours of audio recordings that must have gone into the making of this album. From campy old B-movie trailers, newscasts, and commercials from throughout the decades, to pop songs and TV-show/movie sound bytes, all manner of sounds are assembled into a vast sonic tapestry of surreal juxtapositions and irreverent, often R-rated jokes.

Running gags abound: Perry Mason keeps requesting Top-40 tunes from the court, a rude robot recalls favorite TV episodes, and children's records and religious broadcasts morph into ads for feminine hygiene. As clever and funny as those British culture-vultures Cassetteboy, but coming from an American frame of reference, Butane has been creating outrageous sound collages for ages - his early works were (now out-of-print) home cassettes. Although I don't see his new one listed on his website
Flaming Canine, I'm sure he'll sell you a copy (cheap!) to anyone who asks nicely.

Wayne Butane "How Bazooka Joe Lost An Eye (excerpt)"
"C.G. & the B.L.'s (excerpt)"

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Ho ho ho! It's that time of year again - time to start listening to...Christmas music! Yes, Santa is bringing you a downloadable out-of-print album of holiday music, courtesy of the good elves at falalalala.com. They've been up at the North Pole for the past six months gathering rare Christmas records that will now be offered on a rotating basis.

falalalala.com

Hey, I can make everything different colors like Christmas lights.

KOOKY KUT-UPS prt. 2: CASSETTEBOY

Cassetteboy are, in fact, two boys - a couple of sonic hooligans from Brighton, UK who take political speeches, advertisements, and any other sonic detritus they can get their grubby paws on, chop 'em up and rearrange them to profane, hilarious, and subversive effect. Not for the easily offended, and certainly not for the humorless. Their new release is "Mick's Tape."

"This Woman Stinks!" - an introduction to the Boys
"A Good Walk Spoiled" - a kinky game of golf
"As A Human" - a feel-bad message set to a toe-tappin' ska beat
"Tube Boob" - a terrifying documentary on London Transport
"Pint Of Churchill’s Please Treacle" - the shocking truth about Queen Victoria
"What’s Come Over You?" - Astrud Gilberto goes porn

KOOKY KUT-UPS prt. 1

Stephanie Miller featured this Michael Jackson speech cut-up on her syndicated radio show. It's recorded off the radio, so you can hear the hosts of the show snickering in the background, but it's still an amusing last-word on the whole MJ business that is hopefully now behind us. (So to speak).

"Michael Jackson cut-up"

EYEBALL SKELETON

"EYEBALL SKELETON is the name of our band. It started when I was in Kindergarten and Charlie was in the 1st grade. We thought of the name cause Charlie thought of the name eyeball & I thought of skeleton."

As regular WFMU listeners know, Eyeball Skeleton, the world's greatest pre-teen punk band, recently released their debut album, #1. Consisting of a seven-year-old boy on guitar, his nine-year-old brother on bass, and their father on drums, these pint-sized Cramps mostly write songs about monsters - exactly what I would have written about when I was their age. And, actually, I still would.

Eyeball Skeleton: "Spooky Mummy Case"

MORE HICK-HOP: BOSS HOSS

Combining two recent trends here at "m4m" - country/hip-hop fusion, and weird covers, may I now present Boss Hoss, a German (!) country band that covers rap & pop hits. Their album "Internashville Urban Hymns," debuted at No. 11 on the German charts, so it's not all Hasselhoff over there. It's not such a stretch when they render The White Stripes, Hendrix, or Elvis hits into country corn, but, improbably, Outkast's "Hey Ya," eminem's "Without Me,' The Beasties Boys' "Sabatoge," even Beck's "Loser" get the twangy gee-tars/foot-tappin' treatment. Now here's where it gets scary: they also do Billy Idol's "Eyes Without A Face," just as Paul Anka released his lounge version. When did that song become a standard? Did I not get that memo?

Never thought you'd willingly listen to a Brittany Spears song? Try this:

Boss Hoss: "Toxic" - Replete with absurd Western-movie sound effects, and a singer with a thick pseudo-Texas drawl asking, "Do ya feel me now"?

"Sounds For The Sun-Set"

Mashup/remixers RIAA (Really Interesting Audio Adventures) got some surf/drag, reggae, and exotica mixed with everything from Guns'n'Roses to tv kid's show themes:

"Sounds For The Sun-Set (2005 Edition)
After clicking the above link, scroll down for a choice of downloading options. You may have to wait a few secs.
A surf music beach party made up of mostly other people's records. Finest kine, brah!
Song title/sources:

1. HOLIDAY INN: CAMBODIA - Martha & the Vandellas "Heatwave" vs The Dead Kennedys "Holiday In Cambodia" and thrift-store record sound bytes

2. BOP DON'T RUN- The Ramones "Blitzkreig Bop" vs The Ventures "Walk Don't Run"

3. TRICKY WIPEOUT - Run-DMC "It's Tricky" vs The Surfaris "Wipeout"

4. SWEET CALIFORNIA GIRL O' MINE - The Surf Coasters, The Beach Boys "California Girls," The Beastie Boys "Brass Monkey" Guns n Roses"Sweet Child O' Mine," beach movie bits

5. RASTA BISON HUSTLE OFF ILL APE BAND - title is anagram of "Buffalo Soldier" (Bob Marley) and the name of a certain children's TV show...

6. POPEMOBILE: The Customs "RPM," Fatboy Slim "Rockerfeller Skank"
vocals & lyrics: RIAA

7. SEX ON THE BEACHES - Peaches "Fuck the Pain Away," Jan & Dean "Honolulu Lulu," 20 Fingers "Short Dick Man," Sex Club XXX "Big Dick Man"

8. LOVERS' LUAU - Blondie "The Tide Is High," Beach Boys "Surf's Up," Buddy Holly "Words Of Love," "Ramones "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend," Petty Booka "I W anna Be Your Girlfriend"

9. DAY-O TRIPPER - Harry Belefonte "Day-O," The Monkees "Mary Mary" and the Run-DMC remake, & The Beatles "Day Tripper"

10. TO THE BEACH! - New Order "Blue Monday," Aretha Franklin "Dr Feelgood",media clips, & James Brown thought he told you to "LOVE" him as...

11. SKAWAII FIVE 0 - Toots and the Maytalls "Dog War," The Ventures "Hawaii Five-0," Desmond Dekkar "007 Shantytown," Sol K. Bright's Hollywaiians "Hawaiian Cowboy"

12. CAN'T TOUCH THIS SURFIN' SAFARI - The Beach Boys: "Surfin' Safari," MC Hammer "Can't Touch This," The Astronauts "Baja," some other stuff...

13. SUMMERTIME SAMBA - Los Amigos Invisibles "La Playa Azul" ("The Blue Beach") vs DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince "Summertime"

14. GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE SUMMER FUN: Cyndi Lauper, The Fantastic Baggys "Summer Means Fun," Beach Boys "Surfin'"

15. RED HOT 110 DEGREES - Jan & Dean "Ride the Wild Surf," Public Enemy "Public Enemy #1"

16. CUZ I ROCK HIGH - Jeff Spicolli, Afroman "Cuz I Got High" vs Johnny & The Hurricanes "Red River Rock"

17. The TONGA HUT - obscure Africana: Chief Bey & his Royal Household "Congo Percussion," Barrister "More Fuji Garbage"

18. ALOHA ROCK: Polynesian drumming, The Chantays "Move It," Hawaiian travel record,


additional bits & beatz: RIAA; Art work by Pheugoo
RIAA recorded the first version of this album in 2004 (except for "The Tonga Hut," recorded on 8-track in 2001):

track# 7, 10, 11, 14, 15, 17 are from the 2004 edition - some were remixed/edited

track# 2, 4, 5, 12, 16 are remakes of 2004 versions

track# 1, 3, 6, 8, 9, 13, 18 are new

HIP-HARMONICA

You've seen harmonica players. You've seen hip-hop human-beatbox guys. This unidentified fellow, however, blows a mean blues harp while simultaneously huffin 'n' puffin some ill beatz. He should collaborate with Cowboy Troy, the black country-western rapper we covered here recently. Watch the video:

Unknown Hip-Harmonica Guy

GROOVY TUVA

I may have to end our strange-covers kick we've been on lately, because it just doesn't get weirder then this: Joy Divisions's venerable "Love Will Tear Us Apart" has been redone many a time, but by Tuvan throat-singers? The unearthly sounds of the Far East go punk, according to WFMU's "Beware Of The Blog":

"First heralded by Brian Eno after judging a 1990 musical festival in Kazakhstan, Yat-Kha have been enduring purveyors of traditional khoomei (throatsinging) sounds of its native land of Tuva in South Siberia, while being aware of the western worlds of rock and experimental rock (claiming Deep Purple and Sonic Youth as faves). Leader/bassist vocalist Albert Kuvezin has steered his group into much acclaim over the years and to much larger audience, thanks to hooking up with the Chieftains' management...Their new disc Re-Covers finds them taking on songs by Hank Williams, Kraftwerk, the Stones and more." Yeah, including Motorhead and Captain Beefheart. Not many Americans know Beefheart, so how'd these guys in Mongolia get so hep?

Yat-Kha: "Love Will Tear Us Apart." - About half-way through listening to this for the first time, I just started laughing and shaking my head in bewilderment. No more calls please, we have a winner...

NIRVANA FOR UKULELES

An anonymous tipster (thanks, whoever you are) hepped me to The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain's version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit." This seven-piece combo has only one available album, "Secret Of Life," and it does not contain that Nirvana standard, but still looks to be a worthwhile collection - uke versions of "Le Freak," "Should I Stay Or Should I Go," or Serge Gainsbourg's "Je T'Aime Moi Non Amour" anyone?

But thanks to a site with the oh-so-British name of Scrunty Bastard, we may now hear:

The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

Supposedly they're very funny live, and the pictures on their site are amusing - clad in tuxedos, they sit next to each other in a semi-circle, like a classical chamber ensemble.

RADIO CLASH

"Radio Clash" is a podcast hosted by a chap from London, UK named Tim (whose evil twin DJ NoNo has been featured in these pages) who lately has been featuring some of the weirdest, sickest music he can find. And, perhaps not surprisingly, he has turned to "Music For Maniacs" for inspiration. Ready for 2 hours o' fun? Click to listen to:

"Radio Clash Show 31: Audio pOditties" - Playlist and notes here. Li'l Markie's "Diary of an Unborn Child," my nomination for worst record ever made, is so disturbing, he lost some listeners and had to apologize on his next show:

"Radio Clash Show 32: Beach Clash Mash Bash" - Back to the usual unusual shows Tim typically does. Playlist here.

BLACK SABBATH CHA-CHA-CHA

You people can't seem to get enough of the lounge-covers-of-rock phenomenon,can you?
I guess I'm just an enabler - found this in the archives:

The Lounge Brigade: "Ironman" - in which a most-likely studio-concocted "band" does Black Sabbath, from the album "Sabbath In The Suburbs."

"Someone Can Kill This DJ Plz???"

Some stuff recorded mostly in the late '90s - wacky analog synths, sometimes played with free-jazz recklessness; funky, somewhat exotic beats; thrift-store record samples:

"Someone Can Kill This DJ Plz???"

L A PHILHARMONIC PLAYS VIDEO GAMES

"Video Games Live
Wednesday, July 6, 2005, 8:00 PM
Hollywood Bowl

Artists:
Los Angeles Philharmonic
Mark Watters, conductor

A live concert event featuring full orchestra and choir performing music from the greatest video games, plus laser and light sequences, video clips, live characters, and a special segment dedicated to retro arcade classics!
Games scheduled to be included are:
Mario^TMZelda®Halo®Metal Gear Solid®Warcraft®Myst®Final Fantasy®Castlevania®
Medal of Honor^TMSonic^TMTron©Tomb Raider®Advent Rising,Headhunter,Beyond Good & Evil^TMSplinter Cell®Ghost Recon^TMRainbow Six®EverQuest® IIPong®Donkey Kong®

Get more information at www.videogameslive.com."

The Los Angeles Philharmonic, eh? Well, this ought to really make classical music purists' socks roll up and down. Apparently it's touring the USA. Anyone care to give a concert report?

JAYMZ BEE vs RICHARD CHEESE

No, it's not a mashup (though that's not a bad idea). It's an All-Request Thursday! Some of you have asked to hear the sounds of Canadian lounge-revivalist Jaymz Bee & his Royal Jelly Orchestra, and I have one of his albums: "Cocktail: Shaken and Stirred." Honestly, I can't recommend the whole album - different singers and styles on each track doesn't add up to much consistency. And, not being Canadian, I'm not familiar with all the songs covered, which leaves me somewhat out of the joke. But I only paid a few bucks for it used - well worth it for such moments of genius as the sitars-a-go-go remake of "Safety Dance," orginally done by...Men Without Hats? Men At Work? Met At Work Without Hats? Niggas With Hats? (Hehe, a little reference to the film "Fear Of A Black Hat," dontcha know).

"Safety Dance"
"You Oughta Know" - Alanis Morrisette gets what she deserves

Another Jaymz Bee album, "Sub Urban," (covering rap/r'n'b hits) looks worth picking up - both these CDS are available used from Amazon for less then $2, so what the heck.

Richard Cheese, however, is consistent like Ex-Lax. Witty, hilarious - words you never thought would apply to Radiohead, but here it is. You wanted some Dick Cheese, you got it:
"Creep"

And, oh, why not more swanky Anka since you asked so nicely:
Paul Anka: "Wonderwall" - Originally by Oasis, done properly on the new album "Rock Swings."

FRANKENSTEIN EARPHONE RADIO COMPUTER GOD GANGSTER SLAVES!

Plug your nose and take a deep breath - we are truly going off the deep end today.

As Donna Kossy, author of the book "Kooks" and proprietor of the Kooks Museum website says, the writings of Francis E. Dec make the rest of kook literature look as routine as a business memo. Dec, a disbarred lawyer, convicted forger, and paranoid schizophrenic, holed himself up in a house on Long Island, New York in the mid-60s and rarely left it or talked to anyone except through his written diatribes, of which thousands of copies were mailed out to media outlets, and elsewhere. He hated and feared just about everyone, since everyone seemed to be working for the Computer God who was trying to control him through Frankenstein Eyesight TV. Or something like that.

In 1985, radio newscaster Boyd Britton (now working on Los Angeles's KROQ as "Doc On The Roq"), while employed at WZUU in Milwaukee, recorded himself reading several Dec rants, adding occasional studio effects and background music, such as the soundtrack to the James Bond film "Goldfinger." These cassettes were passed around for years, portions of which were sampled by the British group Psychic TV (in collaboration with Don "Kitten Sparkles" Bolles) on the song "St. Francis E" on 1992's "Ultrahouse: The LA Connection" album.

Finally, these tapes are available to the public, thanks to the good people at UBUWEB. One's eyes can easily glaze over trying to read Dec's delirious rantings, but Britton's production and impassioned reading make Dec's hellish visions come alive with hallucinatory power.

Listen to "Rant no. 5"
(I particularly like the bit about the Pope's "High Holy Communion sodomy.")

In the mid-'90s, Dec finally had to leave his house for a VA hospital. As reported in this article, "I Met Francis Dec!," his nurses claim he hardly ever spoke - a surprising end to the life of a man who had so much to say.

PAUL ANKA ROCKS

Paul Anka, the middle-of-the-road crooner responsible for such EZ-hits as "Put Your Head On My Shoulder," "Having My Baby," and a pre-Sinatra "My Way," has a new album due out tomorrow. What's he singing - Broadway? Standards? Love ballads? Ha! "Rock Swings", an early canidate for album of the year, features remakes of songs from the likes of Nirvana, REM, and Oasis, beating Richard Cheese at his own game. Would you believe a mellow "Eye of the Tiger"? "Black Hole Sun"?! A bossa-nova version of The Cure's "Lovecats" (not unlike Nouvelle Vague or Prozak For Lovers)?!!? Billy Idol's "Eyes Without A Face"?!?LOL!?WTF?!OMG?!!? Yes, only by writing like a 14-year-old in a chat room can one express the puzzling sensation of listening to a jazz-tight, finger-snappin' Big Band arrangement of Van Halen's "Jump," sung with utter straight-faced sincerity. Anka's in good voice, the sound is so smooth your mother (or grandmother) would probably like it, and I have no idea what he was thinking. But it is LOL-funny.

Paul Anka: "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
"Eyes Without A Face"

THE QUEEN IS DEAD

I know nothing about this horrific version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" - found it on a peer-to-peer network looking for something else. It's probably a personal recording not meant to be released into the wild, but release it I shall. It's credited to "Moritz" who is most likely the utterly unhinged singer. English is obviously not the first language for this German (Dutchman?), and he clearly has not memorized the lyrics, but what he lacks in some areas he makes up for in sheer uninhibited enthusiasm. He is initially accompanied by tasteful acoustic guitar, but when things get too rockin', they switch over to the original recording by Queen, and Moritz "sings" over that.

Moritz "Bohemian Rhapsody"

Three of the five original members of Queen had the nerve to reunite and play a few shows in England recently, calling themselves "Queen" despite the absence of their late lead singer Freddy Mercury. We know who they should have hired...