"YOU FIGHT LIKE A GIRL"

Australia's DSICO That No-Talent Hack (he calls himself that, I'm not editorializing) is best known for his mash-ups and electro covers, like the definitive Nirvana remake "Smells Like Electro." But his new EP, "You Fight Like A Girl" is all live instruments, vox and lyrics. So this one might actually get into some legit record shops. Only 500 copies pressed, so get it while it's hot. My fave, "When You Gonna Love Me," is top-notch techno-punk, but he didn't post the mp3 for it. But "Modulations" is good.

THE MUSIC OF DAVID KORESH

I don't have any of his music. I turn to YOU, gentle reader, to point me in the direction of any recordings of the wacko of Waco, the cult leader who claimed to be Jesus and went out in a blaze of glory. Yes, he tried to make it in the music biz, and there are tapes floating around of his mellow-rock song stylings. Amazing that I haven't found 'em by now...

MORE SINGING DOCTORS

In December we featured singing doctor Mechelle Seibel's "Health Rock." That was good-natured, educational stuff (if gruesomely explicit), in stark contrast to Adam Kay and Suman Biswas, whose CD "Fitness to Practice" is a savage parody of the British medical establishment and its patients. Not surprisingly, "The Menstrual Rag" is based on "The Vatican Rag" by that original black-humored piano-man Tom Lehrer. It's amazing that these two can keep their medical licenses with profanity-laden tunes like "Careless Surgeon," but they do contribute all CD sales proceeds to cancer research, so that probably helps. However, nothing's as funny as this non-medical themed parody of The Jam's "Going Underground" called "London Underground," a hilarious denouncing of London's subway system. As a long-time public transportation user meself, I feel their pain.

TAP-DANCING THE NEWS

Sondra Lowell reads the news. While tapdancing. She recently got into this crazy new pod-casting thing just in time for the November election and claims that she called Bush's victory hours before the rest of the media. While singing and tap-dancing. (I'd like to see Dan Rather do that!) (Actually, that really is a disturbing image). Stay on top of the news with Sondra at openpodcast.org.

She also sent out a press release: "World's Most Famous Tap Dancing Podcaster Shares Her Beauty Secrets," in which we learn, among other things, that she wraps red strings around her wrists "to ward off the evil eye."

THE DISTURBED WORLD OF ROBERT ALBERG

Robert Alberg's sad life is detailed here, chronicling his battle with mental illness and depression. So despondent was he that he began creating deadly poisons, pondering the possibility of killing all life on earth. He was recently sentenced to five years probation. Since he won't be behind bars, perhaps he'll still be able to record songs like "Martian Sands" from his self-released CD.

MORE MUSIC BY TREKKIES

DJ Netgyrl makes electronic dance music with liberal use of "Star Trek: Voyager" sound bytes, usually arranged in such a way as to make the characters sound gay or lesbian, as in "You Are My Sunshine." She's done several songs using the same 2 characters: Capt. Janaway & Seven. So if music about lesbian encounters between old ladies and robots is your thing, you know where to go.

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I don't know what's up with m-1.us - host is doing some maintenance. New mps3 aren't downloadable right now. Patience please...

NERDCORE prt. 4: MUSIC BY TREKKIES

The soundtrack to "Trekkies 2," a documetary about the bizarre, hilarious world of "Star Trek" fans, features music by fan groups in a surprising variety of styles: rock, pop, acoustic, even that type of heavy metal where the singers sound like Cookie Monster. Fred Schneider of the B52s is the one ringer; otherwise it's stricly artists you won't often hear outside of a fan convention. Sound samples here that are full of references I don't get.

SCOTT JOHNSON "JOHN SOMEBODY"

Long before sampling, turntablism, mash-ups etc., became common currency, Scott Johnson was creating amazing pieces for tape loops and electric guitar. It wan't easy - composing meant literally hand cutting & splicing tape, and fashioning loops (sometimes as long as 25 ft) to run thru recorders. John Zorn's Tzadik Records label has recently released an album called "John Somebody," and we're all the better for it. The title piece [click to listen], begun in 1977, is a classic example of the Johnson style - taking recordings of real people talking, writing original music based the rhythms and cadences of conversation, and making those voices sing.

One section, "Involuntary Songs," is created by layering tapes of people laughing, then writing happy guitar music as accompaniment. I found myself starting to chuckle along with it. Ooh, what weapons to torture your room/office mates with!

He's called a "composer" and has had his stuff played by fancy-shmancy folks like the Kronos Quartet and ballet companies, yet he plays rockin' distored electric guitar, and premiered "John Somebody" at The Mudd Club, the infamous New York punk hang-out of the late '70s. To Johnson, it's all good.

Although these are old out-of-print recordings, they're still new to most ears - two pieces on this album have never been released before. Essential.

STAN SWINGS!

Stan Ridgeway led one of the great bands back in the punk days, Wall of Voodoo, and his solo career has veered from alt-rock story-telling to occassional returns to the techno-punk of his Voodoo days. But I never would have expected this: "The Way I Feel Today! (crooning the classics)." The first half of the album features '50s finger-snappers like "I Got You (Under My Skin)", with big-band arrangements hewing close to the Sinatra originals. The second covers classic showtunes. Stan's always been such a smart-ass, I keep waiting for the punchline. But there isn't any - it's presented in such a straightfoward fashion that your mom (or grandmother) would probably like it. But still...Stan doesn't reveal any new vocal tricks - he sings everything like "Mexican Radio," old Voodoo-mate Bill Noland adds odd synth sounds, and, for "Witchcraft," spooky theremin, and those aliens on the front cover all make me think there's something a tad off here. "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" is the one song that really does go off the deep end, with it's endless animal sound effects and strange synths. An album as thoroughly entertaining as it is inexplicable.

It's ONLY available through CDBaby.com in very limited (like less than 150 copies left) quanities so get it now. The aliens thank you.

KINDLER, GENTLER GANGSTAS

Nina Gordon, formerly of alt-rockers Veruca Salt, has recorded a sensitive acoustic version of NWA's "Straight Outta Compton." Oh, how I would love to see the crowd's reaction if some brave DJ played this at a hip-hop club...

DUELING "DUELING BANJOS"

In this corner: Don Amott King of Country country-fies Public Enemy in "Rebel Without A Banjo."

And in the other corner: MattCatt took "Dueling Banjos," ran it thru some computer gizmos and came up with "Dueling Pianos." Although some of those sounds are distinctly un-pianoesque.

They're both fu-NEE, darn tootin'.

EVERYTHING THE BEATLES EVER RECORDED IN 2 MINUTES

Well, not quite, but Hank Handy's "Beatles Medley" does pile a lot of Beatlesongs on top of one another to amazing effect. This could very easily have become a train wreck, but it's glorious.

WHAT MICHAEL JACKSON WOULD LOOK LIKE...

...if he hadn't had all the plastic surgery. Not a tune, but you've got to see this:
Alternate Universe Michael

NERDCORE prt. 3: THE NOURISHMENT

They might be They Might Be Giants. But they're not. They're The Nourishment, a local (Los Angeles) combo. At least one member has been known to wear a gorilla suit on stage. They recently put hours of their stuff, going back years, on-line on their site LegalizeFood.com. From their "Take Care of Junior" collection, here's a song that the 2 Johns wish they wrote: "He's A Bit."

Utterly Appalling Music

The god-hates-fags guy Fred Phelps has mp3s of songs like "God Hates America" and "America The Burning" on his site godhatesamerica.com sung by his Westboro Baptist Church choir. Come on everybody, sing along! "Oh wicked land of sodomites..."

NERDCORE prt2: MC HAWKING

Stephen Hawking: brilliant physicist, considered the heir to Newton and Einstein; crippled by Lou Gehrig's disease, he speaks thru a voice synthesizer.
MC Hawking: his hard-core hip-hip alter ego.

So someone gets ahold of the type of voice synthesizer Dr. Hawking uses and records a buncha profanity-laden rap songs. About science. Sounds like it might be funny for maybe 30 seconds, right? Guess again Einstein, this is genius - whoever is behind this knows both his science AND his hip-hop. The debut album "A Brief History Of Rhyme" just dropped, dripping with tunes both hilarious and (I hate to say it) even sorta educational. From "F%@# Tha Creationists": "...they're a bunch of punk-ass bitches/every time I think of them my finger trigger itches/Noah and his ark, Adam and his Eve/straight-up fairy stories only children believe..." Funny, rightous, boomin' beats. "Entropy" is a parody of Naughty By Nature's "OPP" (with another dig at Creationism thown in), "What We Need More of is Science" peels New Age kooks' caps back, and "UFT For The MC" is The Sex Pistols' "Anarchy In The UK" with new lyrics reflecting the Hawkman's quest for a Unified Field Theory. The real Stephen Hawking is aware of this project and has given it his blessing.

However, as with The Lords of the Rhymes (see yesterday's post), nerd cultural references are sometimes lost on me - it took me a few listens to realize that "QuakeMaster" refers to a video game.

NERDCORE prt1: LORDS OF THE RHYMES

The Lords of the Rhymes are a Beasties-ish rap duo who take almost all their lyrical inspiration from the "Lord of the Rings" books/movies. Their site has lots of pictures of people in fan convention home-made costumes. Even if, like me, you're not a Ring-head, you might dig songs like "Nine-Fingered Frodo" - big points for sampling Serge Gainsbourg. But, to be honest, I don't have the foggiest idea what they're talking about.