It's Gonna Be A Children’s Psychiatric Hospital Christmas!

Pastor McPurvis sez: "For the past two years around Christmas, I’ve shared this wonderful album performed by the children in the Inpatient Music Therapy Program at the University of Michigan’s Children’s Psychiatric Hospital." But this year he presents an interview with Charles Whiting and Ken Michalik, two of the music therapists responsible for the concert.

By all means, if you don't have this one yet, grab it here. It's true outsider gold.

"Mr. Whiting still hears from the saxophone soloist, who credits the program with saving his life, every year around Christmas."

Pikachu Orchestra

I'm a bit too busy with holiday action to post much now, but you gotta check out Japanese madman Kaseo and his circuit-bent orchestra of Pikachu toys. Not only did he rig one of these talking (now squawking, screeching & squeeling) toys with a theremin, he even sells them - if you can read Japanese.

Kaseo - Pikachu Orchestra (video)
Kaseo - circuit-bent Pikachu (mp3, different performance)

His site has tons of pictures of his custom-altered electronic toys, and mp3s, like this Hello Kitty telephone "tune." Noise, glorious noise!

HOLIDAY FREAKIN

Thanks to one of the Grand Poobahs of maniacal music, Otis Fodder, we're walking in a weirdo wonderland with the release of HOLIDAY FREAKIN, one of the most deliriously bent collections of Christmas music ever.

Somewhere between a DJ mix and a compilation, Otis and pals mix in campy seasonal sound-bites with songs by everyone from Mae West, Raymond Scott, and Oscar The Grouch to such cult figures as French "library music"/Moog legend Roger Roger. Outsider music is well represented by the painfully sincere songwriter Gordon Thomas, Danger Woman's "Sleigh Ride" to Hell, and the kids of the Univ. of Michigan Medical Center Children's Psychiatric Hospital, who come off like a more funky version of the Newhall School District's concert. And then you've got the Chinese Kids Choir, 2 Live Jews, and some French rap to provide a little ethnic diversity. All in all, it's 23 tracks of CD-filling seasonal silliness.

HOLIDAY FREAKIN 2006

An older "Holiday Freakin" collection is available on the page as well.

ERRYMAY RISTMASCHAY

It pains me to admit this but...I think DJ Riko might have more weird Christmas records then I do.

His annual Merry Mixmas mixes are a beloved holiday tradition, and his latest might be my fave one yet, featuring songs like "Senor Santa Claus," one of those amazingly stereotypical Mexican "dialect" novelty records of the '50s (e.g.: "I theeenk").

Alongside favorites from the likes of Mark Mothersbaugh, The Partridge Family, and The Sonics, is a version of Jingle Bells sung in Pig Latin. Apparently it's from a whole album of Pig Latin Xmas songs, but I couldn't find any info about it on the web. Riko kindly sent me this song, though, claiming it's the best thing on the album:

"A Pig Latin Christmas" - "Inglejay Ellsbay"

And don't forget: The King of Jingaling and his elves are back in action over at:
Falalalala, for all your rare and unusual Christmas music needs.



Thanks to DJ Riko!

WILD MAN FISCHER & SMEGMA

Psst! Hey Mac...(looks around) Want some Wild Man Fischer?

I don't know what nice person put this stuff up, or how long it will last, but two of Larry's out-of-print albums are available as zip downloads:

"An Evening With Wild Man Fischer" pt1
"An Evening With Wild Man Fischer" pt2

His first, released by Zappa. Some of you are no doubt familiar with this one, but I had never heard:
"Wild Man Fisher and Smegma Sing Popular Songs" - Recorded between '73 & '75, Larry's "lost years" between Zappa and his Rhino Records releases, only released on vinyl in '97. Features a fantastic 15 minute destruction of Gladys Knight & The Pips' "Midnight Train to Georgia" performed with Smegma, a loose collection of loonies from the Los Angeles Free Music Society, including future Dream Syndicate member Dennis Duck.

Further evidence that pre-punk L.A. was more then laid-back hippie "soft-rock." See also: Capt. Beefheart, The Runaways, Sparks, Zolar X, Morton Subotnick, War, Charles Wright, The G.T.O.s, Kim Fowley, The Watts Prophets...

CHRISTMAS MUSIC THAT SOUNDS LIKE BICYCLES

Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite" is a holiday standard, but this version of the "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" has to be the finest one I've ever heard played on bicycle parts. San Francisco composer Johnny Random was hired by an ad agency to write Christmas music for a bicycle commercial, with one stipulation: the client wanted the music performed using actual bicycle parts. The 40-second result is a wonderful piece of sampling utilizing the following "instruments":

Glockenspiel & Clarinet melody = spokes.
Cello & Violin pizzicatos = plucked derailleur cables.
Triangle = disc brake hit.
Percussion = shifting, coasting, finger over turning spokes, chain pulls, braking, clipping into pedals, back-spinning, air out of tires.

Johnny Random: "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"

Which reminds me of last year's "Toolbox Christmas" album.

There's a surprising amount of bicycle music out there, as you can see here. Appropriately enough, I'm writing this after riding - just took one of my regular bike exercise trips, so, needless to say, all this has me thinkin'. Don't be surprised if you see me coming down the Burbank bike path on a bike rigged up with, like, tubas'n'shit.

CHRISTMAS MUSIC THAT SOUNDS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE CHRISTMAS MUSIC

"A Singular Christmas" is the work of one Brian Whitman, a smart-aleck from one of America's premier science academies, The Massachusetts Institute of Technology. As he describes it, "...what is special about Christmas music? Let’s take the objectivist view– that there is something in the composition, construction, timbre or production in every popular Christmas song that makes it fit into the genre...What I could do is try to distill holiday music down to its barest essentials. My hypothesis was that if we could figure out the dominant components of Christmas music...then yes, we’ve cracked the code — we can have Holiday Forever, a Singular Christmas." He then uses computer talk incomprehensible to me to describe what he did, but ultimately "Dozens of holiday records went into the machine, and out came the sixteen tracks you can hear today."

I suspect the song titles reflect the tracks' ingredients, e.g. "Faithful Clear" might have used "O Come All Ye Faithful" + "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear." Upon listening to these tracks, however, I was amused to find that there's nothing "Christmas-y" about them. (So much for "cracking the code.") Nonetheless, it's a nice collection of Eno/Fripp-ish ambient/industrial/drone loveliness.

Brian Whitman: "Currier and rum king" - way too short at 47 seconds - I listened to it 3 times in a row.
Brian Whitman: "Grand hotel pout twice" - beautiful shimmery-ness; also too short (1:26)
Brian Whitman: "Pum pa chestnut pies" - hypnotic drones fade in and out; a kind of "Music For North-Pole Airports"

PEOPLE LIKE US LIKE PEOPLE LIKE US

Vicki Bennett wears two hats: as host of the WFMU radio show "Do or D.I.Y.," home of all things "avant-retard," she spins everything from ethnic music to kitschy novelties to the work of experimental "composers," revealing the musics' connections and obliterating any artificial genre classifications in the process.

As People Like Us, she anticipated the mashup scene by years, creating surreal audio and visual collages that burst with an almost childlike glee, but, as on gorgeous tunes like "SwingLargo," can also be strangely moving.

Occasionally both worlds collide when she uses her radio show as a testing ground for her People Like Us releases. During one segment last Sept. 18, she mixed Hawaiian steel-guitar music, South American Indian chanting, and Carl Stalling's cartoon sound effects to such glorious effect I recorded it off the station's audio stream. When I asked Vicki if I could post it here, she said, "I laughed my head off doing that section, I actually wanted it to go on the whole hour. It is actually becoming a People Like Us track in it's own right on an album I'm releasing with Ergo Phizmiz next Spring." Yay!

People Like Us: "Do or DIY excerpt 9-18-06"

Although Do or DIY is usually a summer-season show, there will be a three hour WFMU-web special on 14th December, 6-9am EST, to be later archived as a Realplayer stream.

SCHOOL BAND FRENZY!!

There's no shortage of school music recordings floating around thrift-store land. Most are fairly tame and ordinary, but there's some real lulus out there, too. And "Newhall School District Spring Concert" is one of them.

This absolutely crazed recording features five-count 'em-FIVE elementary school bands, 157 kids in all, coming together to blow the roof off the sucka. The somewhat apologetic liner notes, presumably by music director Suzette Wenke, explain that they only had one three-hour rehearsal with all the groups together before the show. Almost every second of these performances feature dissonance, suggesting an extremely loud version of the Portsmouth Sinfonia.

Newhall is a suburb just past Los Angeles, and I'm guessing this was recorded late-'70s/early '80s judging by the inclusion of some music from the show "Annie." So big ups to the kids of The Meadows, Newhall, Old Orchard, Peachland Ave., and Wylie Canyon elementary schools. Play this LOUD!

Newhall School District Spring Concert: "The Bugler"
Newhall School District Spring Concert: "Dixie Showboat"
Newhall School District Spring Concert: "Two Minuets (Royal Fireworks Suite)"

'TARD-TRONICA, TROIS

More retarded techno, the last installment I swear! For now. You can actually dance to these, but any dj that tries to spin 'em will probably be pelted with rocks and garbage.

Barbra Streisand - "Shut The Fuck Up": Babs tells off a heckler in concert; remixed by Revo Lucian. Can't find any info on this guy, just got it off the ever-wonderful April Winchell site. Hey, I actually finally really like a Barbra Streisand song!

Baracuda - "Ass Up": The absurdity of the anatomically-difficult instructions of the lyrics makes me LAFF! Baracuda are a German duo - he plays house music, she sings the stoopid words. This track might not be available in the US - it's not listed on American Amazon, but hey look! you can get it from German Amazon.

'TARD-TRONICA, TOO!

More electro-spazz tunes to make a raver poop his pants:

Bruno & Michel Are Smiling: "Faith" - Munich, Germany loonies scream distorted vocals over music that sounds like synthesizers dropped in a bathtub, exploding, and shooting sparks all over. You may hear something resembling Michael Jackson in this one.

Gravy Train!!!: "Titties Bounce" - If a John Waters movie was an electro-pop band it might be this gleefully offensive Oakland, CA quartet. Sometimes the boys in the band sing songs like "You Made Me Gay" but usually the ladies sing tasteful tunes like this one. Somewhere, Rusty Warren is smiling.

ONE BANK

If you watch no other video this year, watch this one.

Mrs. Fab passes on tips to me here at Maniac Central, and she has outdone herself this time. (To quote the old commercial, "My wife..I think I'll keep her!") Today's incredible video shows Jim DuBois (Manhattan Consumer Market Executive) and Ethan Chandler (Manhattan Banking Center Manager) at a corporate function singing a version of U2's "One" with new lyrics commemorating Bank of America's merger with MBNA.

They couldn't be less rock'n'roll with their business attire and banking industry-inspired lyrics. But you can tell they've been playing music for years, maybe were in bands when they were younger, and never lost the dream. They're so darned earnest. The singer is truly trying to wrench out every drop of emotion from a song about...corporate mergers.

I often record the audio from videos I post here, but I dunno, I think this should really be seen as well as heard.

"One Bank"


Thanks Mrs. Fab!

RIAA: "Dirt Bacharach"

RIAA Presents: "Dirt Bacharach," a 15-track download-album pitting the lush, sophisticated melodies of Burt Bacharach's '60s classics vs the sometimes harsh sounds of modern music and life.

Some are straight-ahead mash-ups. In "Birds," The Carpenters' "Close To You" gets twisted into dark satire. Others are complex Negativland-like sound-collages, such as "Magic Moments," in which excerpts from a documentary on inner-city children are ironically juxtaposed against the corny sentimentality of Perry Como. And then there's some silly sound-effects-laden novelties, and Alanis Morrisette gets a long-overdue smack-down.

DOWNLOAD

SONG NOTES: (Many of the Bacharach instrumentals used are from the following albums: "Music Minus One: Bacharach For Pianists," Enoch Light & The Light Brigade "Spaced Out," Christopher Scott "Switched-On Bacharach")

1. Birds: The Carpenters "Close To Me," BJ Thomas "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head," "Scientific American" podcast, NPR news stories

2. Always Something Rollin': "Always Something There To Remind Me" vs Limp Bizkit "Rollin'" censored acapella, which sounded dumb, hence the on-line dictionary guest vocals

3.You Oughta Shut Up:
"The Look of Love" vs Alanis Morrissette "You Oughta Know," The Cranberries "Zombie," John Bonham (Led Zeppelin) on drums, a wee bit of Dusty Springfield, sound fx, and Run-DMC saying "shut up"

4.Reach Out for the Queen:
"Reach Out For Me" vs Sex Pistols "God Save The Queen"

5. Bite The Hand That Walks On By: "Walk On By" vs Nine Inch Nails "Bite The Hand That Feeds"

6. Burning Wives: "Wives and Lovers" (performed by Frank Sinatra) vs Ministry "Burning Inside"

7. Str8 Outta San Jose:
"Do You Know The Way To San Jose" vs an AT&T Text-To-Speech version of NWA's "Straight Outta Compton"

8. I Hate Your Little Red Book: "My Little Red Book" (Love and Cal Tjader versions) vs Kelis "Caught Out There"

9. I Don't Give Paper Mache: "Paper Mache" vs the censored version of Li'l John "I Don't Give A..." which sounded dumb, hence the sound effects

10. Say A Little Prayer For Religion:"Say A Little Prayer" vs PiL "Religion"

11. Falling Away From Bond Street: "Bond Street" vs Korn "Falling Away," "Twist"

12. Guys In Love: "This Guy's In Love With You" (Herb Albert) vs Charles Bukowski "The Closing of the Topless and Bottomless Bar,""Love"

13. Magic Moments: "Magic Moments" (Perry Como) vs public radio documentary "Ghetto Life 101"

14. Beware of Poland, Baby: "Beware of the Blob," "Make It Easy On Yourself" (Percy Faith, and Walker Brothers versions) vs Foetus "Meet Me In Poland, Baby," NPR clips

15. Knowing When To Put Down the Guns: "Knowing When To Leave" vs JG "Put Down The Guns," Public Enemy "Make Love F--- War"

JOHN NORTH WRIGHT: UPDATE

We first wrote about outsider musician/would-be screenwriter John North Wright here last June. Today I received a note from FCJ, who writes, "In February of 2004, John North Wright passed away from complications related to leukemia, in a Hawaii hospital. John moved to Hawaii shortly after the release of his last album, White Widow...his personal site and related mp3 sound files were removed from the audiogalaxy servers on the day of his death. Songs from his final album are available to hear at
http://www.myspace.com/ripjnw

Friends Kill Friends issued a DVD of their "hit" movie, Suck the Cool Right Out, with a couple JNW-related bonuses. In addition to the original documentary, a segment of John reading his "Skatin' For Satan and Scratching for Survival" poem before a live audience as well as a recording of a play based off of John's works have been included."

I'm sorry to hear of his passing. But kudos to the Port Huron, MI crew for preserving his crazed rambles - there's some amazing stuff on the MySpace page, from old acoustic "hits" like "Teenage Volleyballers" to some of his last recordings performed on sub-Casio electronics, such as:

John North Wright "Down In The Land Of..." - Has something to do with Satan's, er, "schlong."

Mucho thanks to FCJ.

'TARD-TRONICA!

Say, friend, do you think electronic dance music is sterile, repetitious, and dull? Is that what's getting you down, friend? Well, if anyone was crazy enough to hire me to spin at an electro night, I'd play no-good, low-down, tasteless lunatics like:

Leslie & The Lys: The reigning queen of 'tard-tronics. You may have chuckled at the video for "Gem Sweater," her ode to Midwestern fashion victims, but her live show blows it away. Leslie is a vision in big hair, blue eye shadow, and gold pants, and video clips between songs are a hilarious peek into Middle American culture - infomercials describing how YOU can attach sequins to your sweater, preachers describing the evils of slam-dancing, and plenty more. And she does her own stunts.

Leslie and the LYs: "Gem Sweater"

mmmmyeah: "Chavfeat": This catchy bit of idiocy regarding a girl with a host of diseases is found on this completely uninformative site. (Thanks to DaDa Hokmayen for the tip!)

Captain Ahab, Los Angeles' contribution to the genre, also have no shortage of tasteless humour - check out their filthy sex rap "I Can't Believe It's Not Booty" on their MySpace page.
But "Girls Gone Wild" is genuinely great. It's actually somewhat sympathetic to those exhibitionistic video girls.

Captain Ahab: "Girls Gone Wild"

DJ Scotch Egg was profiled here before we had even heard his music. His album's now out, and he recently played here in L.A. with Captain Ahab for what was billed as a night of "Retarded Electronics." Mr. Egg is a Japanese fellow whose "instrument" is a tricked-out Gameboy which he plays while screaming obcene rants about how much he hates KFC. Could I make this stuff up?

DJ Scotch Egg: "Scotch Chicken"

You've heard of IDM? I'll take 'TDM.

THE HAUNTED BALLROOM

Weird music doesn't end with Halloween. Autumn is upon us, and as the weather gets chilly and the leaves fall, haunting mood music is perfectly appropriate all season, not just Oct. 31.

"The Caretaker" makes eerie greatness out of old '20s and '30s dance band records, playing up the inherent spookiness of old 78s by smothering them under tons of effects (echo, delay, etc), and sometimes sloooowing them down to create the soundtrack to a "Haunted Ballroom." Songs from this 1999 release such as "One Thousand Memories," "Haunting Me" and "Thronged with Ghosts" actually sound like their titles. The follow-up album "A Stairway to the Stars" features more dreamy ambient melancholy nostalgia:

The Caretaker - "It's All Forgotten Now"
The Caretaker - "Masquerade Ball"

LINK-O-RAMA: Star Trek Edition

- MaidenWine: amazingly comprehensive and handsomely designed site dedicated to the musical stylings of Leonard Nimoy. Apart from a detailed history of his musical career, it also has a fascinating newspaper & magazine clippings archive (Nimoy performed at Hollywood Bowl on the same bill as Edward G. Robinson and Richard Pryor? OH for a time-machine.)

- Record Robot, meanwhile, has been posting a lot of Nimoy's old tuneage lately, from the albums "The Way I Feel," "The Touch Of Leonard Nimoy," "The New World Of Leonard Nimoy," so you've got plenty to listen to as you read MaidenWine's archived Nimoy interviews from teeny-bopper mags like "Co-Ed."

- William Shatner rarities unearthed! The almighty YouTube is featuring Shatner performances of songs not on his legendary "Transformed Man" album - songs not heard since their original performance in the '70s. A remake of Harry Chapin's "Taxi," in particular, is a major addition to the Shatner canon - five spellbinding minutes describing an encounter between a cabbie picking up a fare, who just happens to be an old flame. He starts off fairly relaxed, by 2:37 pulls out the crazy facial expressions, and the "stoned" finale is simple can't-miss classic. I recorded the audio for your mp3-ing pleasure:

"Taxi" - live on Dinah Shore's daytime variety show.
"Taxi" mp3

"Keep It Gay" video - Actually singing for 23 inexplicable seconds; with Mike Douglas
"Keep It Gay" mp3

"How To Handle A Woman" video - An all-too-brief 1:22 Barry White-style love rap; don't know what show this is from, but dig Shat's puka shell necklace
"How To Handle A Woman" mp3

"It Was A Very Good Year" video - You may know Bill's recording of the Sinatra hit, but this performance on "The Mike Douglas Show" adds a welcome visual dimension, from the psychedelic intro to an amazing array of facial expression close-ups.

"Incubus (excerpt)" - Esparanto was a failed attempt to create an international language, but at least one film was shot in it. Not a music clip, but you gotta see Shatner in this b&w 1965 supernatural creeper. It's as strange as it gets - imagine if Bergman directed for AIP.

CALLING ALL FIENDS!

Katya from Oddio Overplay sez:

"Halloween is meant to be scary, right? Year after year we dust off the old silly 1950s and 1960s novelty records. While they are fun, they not at all frightening. Oddio Overplay put the challenge to musical artists the world over to create Halloween music that is "frightening, damaging and disturbing." No "Monster Mash," instead creepy soundtracks to a fiendish Halloween. They succeeded with CALLING ALL FIENDS! Some of these pieces will creep you right out of your skin."

CALLING ALL FIENDS!

And while we're at it:

"Night of The Alive Dead" - Whodini's "Haunted House of Rock", The Classics IV's "Spooky" and an instrumental remake by Howard Roberts, little bits of the "Night of The Living Dead" soundtrack & Beastie Boys "Alive," all served over a techno beat stompin' enough to raise the dead.

Hypocritical Disclaimer

You know, Spinal Tap weren't really that bad. If they had been a real band, they would have certainly been considered kitschy, but no more so then any number of real head-bangers. And, c'mon, "Big Bottom" is far more clever then most metal tunes: "How can I leave this...behind?" Classic! Some real bands, however, truly make me wonder. Case in point: Hypocritical Disclaimer.

The website of these Fargo, North Dakota (!) metal/noise mysterios may not have any info on the band whatsover, but it does have plenty of righteous manifestos, e.g.: "We are not music, but a way of life. Our sounds in whole are not for entertainment but are here for an alternate source of living." It also claims that they have many types of fans. Do they really have fans? And what are they like?

Seriously, the amount of drugs it must take to create music this messed-up (they make The Butthole Surfers sound like N'Synch) could medicate entire nations.

Hypocritical Disclaimer: "Filth More Mess"
Hypocritical Disclaimer: "Mastuh"



Thanks to Nick Trey!

James Blunt, You're Pitiful

Weird Al Yankovic's latest album, "Straight Outta Lynwood," will NOT be including his parody of "You're Beautiful," the sap-fest by Oprah's fave new singer James Blunt. LAME. C'mon, everyone (well, except Prince) let's Weird Al do his thing with their music, even when it's ridiculing the song, ala his "Achy-Breaky Heart" parody: "Don't you play that song, that Achy-Breaky Song."

"You're Pitiful" is, actually, not making fun of Blunt or the song, so what's the problem? Didn't you just get here, Blunt? Weird Al's been in the biz for decades - he OWNS you. He could probably have you killed if he so desired. Killed in nasty ways.

Actually, it was apparently Blunt's label that put the kibosh on it. As Al sez here: "James Blunt could still let me put it on my album if he really wanted to, but he obviously doesn't want to alienate his own record company... and my label could release the parody without Atlantic's blessing, but they don't really want to go to war with another label over this."

So Al's put it out over the inter-webs. Take that, suits!

"Weird Al" Yankovic: "You're Pitiful"

This is the greatest crime against parodies since Phil Collins refused to allow Mr. Methane to stink up one of his songs.