ANOTHER WEIRD-ASS CHRISTMAS

Our pal Cat A. Waller has assembled another great batch of oddities, novelties, and cheese with a yule-time spin and I'd love to break it down for you, but Cat fears the copyright nazis, and would rather you just download this beast and check it out for yourself. Actually, a lot of it is quite old, so it's probably ok, but hey, can't be too careful nowadays. I can tell you that it's ingredients include: polka, lounge, the voice of Mr Magoo, holiday hillbillies, some helpful radio Public Service Announcements, some vintage burlesque naughtyness, a well-known indie rock band covering a song-poem, and a quite inexplicable number about a prog-rock star in his own winter wonderland. A wildly entertaining assortment that helps to make the season bright.

Cat's other collections, and a great discovery (The Ghostly Trio album) are also available here:

Cat A. Waller's Xmas mixes

Thanks, Cat!

WEIRDER-ASS CHIRSTMAS

As promised by compiler Cat A. Waller, 

"Weird Ass Chirstmas" is now up. Any Scrooge would have his head turned around by this: Esquivel, Mel Blanc, a guy singing like a frog, a track from the infamous "Star Wars" xmas album, Stewart Copeland of The Police in his oddball 'Klark Kent' persona, Fred from the B-52s singing about fruitcake and Sammy Davis Jr with an upset stomach, Wayne Newton going disco (one of my long-time faves), and, er...Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Christmas." 

Sorry to the requester who asked for "Bah Humbug: An Alternative Christmas" - can't find that one. But I did re-up this one, a whole album about trees.

See y'all next year!

WEIRD-ASS CHRISTMAS

Maniacs! Do any of you have the "Trekkies 2" soundtrack? I've been getting lots of requests lately to re-up oldies, and that ones' file has gone missing. But lots more old posts are back up, cuz you axed for it:

"A Crafty Ladies Christmas"; 2 volumes of "Christmas Is For Weirdos"; lots of "Horrible Singing Children;"  RIAA's albums, except for the most recent ones (the ones on top, will get to those soon); and 8-count-'em-8 Zoogz Rift albums.

Merry Kissmyass! In the holiday spirit of giving, two fine Maniacs have hit us with some great comps of x-citing, x-otic, (x-hausting?) xmas weirdness:

"Deck Your Face With Xmas Music" - Don-O, who compiled the two "Ultimate Ultimate Xanadu" comps for us, is a wearer of many hats, two of which conjoin here: his 'zine "Twilight World," and his mix-tapes. In the latest ish (#20) of his compulsively readable publication, Don dishes at length on his fave Christmas albums (here's a preview), and this is the audio companion. Great stuff, ranging from the sleazy 1960 Sun Records "Rockin Stockin" single (perfect for "rated x-mas" burlesque shows), to some kooky Space Age sounds from the Three Sons, to a wild Optigan track (man, I gotta find a copy of this album), culminating in a spectacular reading by filmmaker John Waters on why he loves Christmas.

Cat Waller, who bequeathed unto us those lovely "Monstro Monster Mixes" is back with several volumes of yuletide yummies: 
 https://xmasmixes.wordpress.com/
We posted a link to this page last year when he put up "Rude Ass Christmas Mix (NSFW!)" which claims he has tweaked a bit for this year. I deffo also recommend the "Lynchian"  Ghostly Trio album, recorded off a tape as just side 1 and side 2. Concidentally, Don-O includes a track from it on his collection. And Cat claims that there's a "Weird Ass christmas Mix" a-comin', so keep watching the skies!

HI-FI SCI-FI: Vintage Monster/Space/Horror/Futurism Audio Oddities

Now up for your downloading pleasure, six (and counting) volumes of monstrous mix-tapes, perfect for these Halloween-y times we're living in. And what might their contents be? Compiler Cat A. Waller sez: "I'm afraid to say what's on them. Might get googled and busted. I'm kinda wimpy like that." Well, after checking out three volumes (so far) I can heartily recommend this witch's brew of vintage horror rock, more recent New Wave and novelty artists, and relevant sound (vampire?) bites and film dialogue, amongst other surprises.

Monstro Monster Mixes 

Still not enough for ya? "Hi-Fi Sci-Fi," the latest installment in our continuing exploration of mid-century arty-facts from the Golden Age of Cool, deals with every aspect of the fantastic: Outer Space! Monsters! Monsters from space! Not only is much of this stuff ripped from vinyl and, so far as I know, has not been compiled on other collections of vintage sleazy-listening sounds, but there's also a number of tracks recorded off of video: movie songs (and dialogue, sound fx, etc.) that were not released on record, but should have been. There will be more such movie musics in future volumes. So keep watching the skies!

Apart from the unknown garage rockers and novelty acts releasing 45s on regional labels, we also have a few big stars: Diana Ross & The Supremes, Bo Diddley, Louis Prima...and crooners. Crooners already rule, but when they sing straight-faced, sincere, utterly inappropriate 'love themes' to cheesy b-movies, they just get, er, 'rule-ier.' Bobby Rydell's finger-snappin' vocal version of "Telstar" must be heard to be believed. See also: "Journey to the Seventh Planet" on "Vol. 5".

Lowbrow Vol. 6: HI-FI SCI-FI 

01 The Crescendos - Countdown
02 Louis Prima - Fly Me To The Moon [from a private-press release by this king of Vegas lounge singers]
03 Gemini & The Planets - Copa City Promo, Miami, FL ["gyrating go-go girls dancing on a bed of nails"?!]
04 The Supremes - Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine [wouldn't it be nice to hear the oldies station play this theme song to a nutty Vincent Price film instead of "Baby Love" for the umpteenth time?]
05 Monty Johnson - Flying Saucers in the Air
06 The Sci-Fis - Science Friction
07 Ralph Young - Moon Doll [future half of very successful duo Sandler & Young croons the theme to "Nude On The Moon," a film about nudes on the moon.]
08 "Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster": Bob Crewe - Scramble All Jets
09 Big Maybelle - Egg Plant That Ate Chicago [rhythm and blues legend Maybelle recorded the original "Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On"; which is all well and good, but I prefer this]
10 "Annihilation"
11 "Beach Girls and the Monster" - suspense music [My title - like track 15, I don't know the names of the uncredited pieces of music]
12 Bo Diddley - Mummy Walk
13 "Evil Hand"
14 Frankie Avalon - Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
15 "Beach Girls and the Monster" - spooky bongos
16  "Beach Girls and the Monster" Kinsley The Lion & Elaine Dupont - Monster In The Surf
17 Astronauts - The Hearse
18 Teddy and Darrel - Gary Ghoul Boy [pioneering campy gay humor]
19 "I am Robert Robot, mechanical man. Ride me and steer me, wherever you can"
20 Bent Bolt & The Nuts - The Mechanical Man
21 "HAL is Operational"
22 Ray Cathode - Waltz In Orbit [featuring a pre-Beatles George Martin!]
23 Buchanan & Goodman - Frankenstein of '59
24 Carl Douglas - Witchfinder General [yep, the "Kung Fu Fighting" guy; I literally did LOL listening to this one]
25 "Werewolf in A Girl's Dormitory": Marilyn Stewart/ Frank Owens - Ghoul in School
26 Frankie Stein and his Ghouls - Three Little Weirds [This sounds like it may be the song "Jerk" from "Lowbrow Vol. 2," only w/added crazy sound fx]
27 Bobby Rydell - Telstar [This song had lyrics? Believe it or don't! The vocal version was often called "Magic Star."]
28 "Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster" - capture of the earth women 
29 Travis Wammack - Theres A UFO Up There
30 Orange Groove - A Bad Trip Back to '69 [I think this song appears on the 101 Strings album "Astro-sounds": probably more budget label shenanigans, like track 26]
31 Lex de Azevedo / Doug Stewart - Zero Population [An ultra-conservative's idea of a dystopian future, from "Saturdays Warrior," a Mormon rock-opera - yes, there really was such a thing. Lex de Azevedo had a long career w/Capital records, releasing the Mrs Miller albums!]
32 Charleton Heston - "Soylent_Green"
33 Columbia Playtime Orchestra - "Rocket Ranger Song"
34 David Rose - Forbidden Planet [The man behind the huge hit "The Stripper" is a long way from the burly-q house here]
35 Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo Berry - Monster Adventures In Outer Space

artwork courtesy of Mitch O'COnnell
 

FRANK SINATRA'S GREATEST SHITS

I love Frank Sinatra's music, got tons of his records. But anyone with a career spanning six decades has got to drop a few turds along the way, and The Chairman of The Board is no exception. And that is what we are presenting here today: 15 examples of the worst, from the greatest.

There's the good-bad Frank, which is fun, e.g. finger-snappin' his way thru unlikely/inappropriate songs like Stevie Wonder's "You Are The Sunshine of My Life" (a staple of my Vegas road trips) or his hep-cat spin on Simon and Garfunkel; his groovy mod duets with daughter Nancy (sample lyric: "I'm lookin' out love-colored windows"); or when his take on "Mack The Knife" becomes a self-conscious history lesson on that oft-recorded classic.

And then there's bad-bad Frank. "Mama Will Bark," a duet with the now-forgotten Dagmar, a performer more known for her curvaceous figure than her singing ability, has been called the worst thing Frank recorded, and I would not argue. Literally, a dog of a record. Nothing else here is quite as cringe-worthy, but the unreleased (for good reason) disco version of "All or Nothing At All," or the appalling duet with that ghastly creature Bono come pretty damn close.  Yes, sometimes you can judge a book by it's cover: "Everybody's Twistin'" sounds exactly like you think it would. And has there ever been a good version of "Winchester Cathedral"?

This collection eases you in: at first, there doesn't appear to be anything particularly wrong with this version of "Some Enchanted Evening." The "South Pacific" standard should be a slam-dunk, right?  But it gradually becomes clear that Frank has no feel for the song whatsoever, as he's been hobbled by a terrible arrangement, and it just goes completely off the rails. Surprising that this one got out of the can. (Although I guess you could say that for most of these tracks.)

This collection come to us thru our regular contributor windy via his pal, another mad-dog record collector named MadJon, who conceived, compiled, and created the cover artwork (above) for this festering concoction. Thank (or blame) them! Jon's notes for each song below.


Frank Sinatra - "Come Suck With Me"

01some enchanted evening
02Everybodys' twistin
03 i whistle a happy tune
04mama will bark
05all or nothing at all (disco)
06winchester cathedral
07mrs robinson
08 feelin kinda sunday (w/nancy)
09 life's a trippy thing (w/nancy)
10 you are the sunshine of my life
11bad bad leroy brown
12ive got you under my skin (w/Bono)
13mack the knife (w/Quincy Jones; vibes: Lionel Hampton)
14the 12 days of christmas (w/Nancy, Frank Jr, and the rarely-heard Tina Sinatra)
15 my way

Some Enchanted Evening: The Richard Rodgers estate was very strict about licensing its songs for recording. Altho' Sinatra had recorded this tune in the past, on Columbia in 1949, they gave him a difficult time about it two decades later. Personal? Who knows, but when Sinatra finally got the rights, he made it personal and recorded this ridiculous, horrible version as revenge.

Everybody's Twistin': Sinatra craved hits as much as anyone and would lower his famous standards when required. Here, he takes an old song by Fats Waller called "Everybody's Truckin'." changes the title and imagines he has a twist hit. He didn't. In America it only went to #75.

Mama Will Bark: It's too easy to say that Mitch Miller forced Sinatra to record this. Imagine ANYONE telling Frank what to do! Sinatra puts his all into this record, and seems to be enjoying himself. The flip was the tragically beautiful "I'm A Fool To Want You" which he co-wrote. Both sides did well on the charts. It remains awful only because it's incomprehensible that he would have gone along with it.

All Or Nothing At All: Before the huge success of his Trilogy album, Sinatra was lost in the 70's, with the label he founded only releasing several singles between 1974 and 1980. Clearly desperate, Sinatra re-recorded two old hits of his as disco records in 1977, this and "Night And Day," but "All Or Nothing At All" was so awful it remained unreleased until the Complete Reprise box set in 1995.

Winchester Cathedral: Enjoying a surprise return to the Top 10 charts in the mid-60's, Sinatra decided that every other album would be "for the kids." Like the kids were waiting for this.

Mrs. Robinson: Reportedly, Paul Simon hated what Frank did with his song, as should we all.

Feelin' Kinda Sunday and Life's A Trippy Thing: Juvenile hippy crap. Worst, who could even imagine the word "trippy" appearing in a Sinatra title?

You Are the Sunshine Of My Life and Bad, Bad Leroy Brown: Both from the album Some Nice Things I've Missed (1974), it's another one "for the kids!" The latter song being a #1 hit in 1972, Reprise thought the kids would like Frank's version as a single two years later. It (#83), like the album (#48), did poorly, and so began Frank's lost decade.

I've Got You Under My Skin (duet with Bono): Inexplicably, the public made Sinatra's first Duets album a smash hit, even if it never sounded like Frank was ever in the same studio with his guests, as is most evident here. Frank sounds flat, while Bono's vocal is produced with his trademark ethereal sound. When their vocals are mixed together, their phrasing doesn't match.

Mack the Knife: Sinatra's last album, L.A. Is My Lady, produced by Quincy Jones, is almost entirely awful throughout. Here, Sinatra can't resist changing the lyrics as he salutes the members of the orchestra.

The Twelve Days of Christmas: Featuring his three children (only one of whom ever achieved success on her own) the repetition of the all-too-cute, terribly unfunny jokes quickly becomes horribly obnoxious. It is the one track on this compilation that I cannot bear listening to.

My Way: It would be easier to take if recorded by a better man with a lesser voice, but here Sinatra celebrates a life of bullying abuse which the public is well aware of. Additionally, it is ironic that at his own label, Sinatra cared less about the engineering of his records; on the line "For what is a man?" there is an over-saturation of the vocal on the tape, creating horrible distortion that technology can never fix.

I threw this collection together quickly one day, being too lazy to look for more, but I know more stinkers are out there, and perhaps in the future there will be a Volume Two.